In the End
by Natalie Rushman
Summary: This story is a series of loosely-strung vignettes that I hope charts out a convincing character arch for our favorite Asgardian princes and their companions. Some fan theories, some of my own pet head cannons. All with explanations and plenty of opportunity for argument ;) All pre-'Thor'. No slash, no smut. Lots of brotherly love and arguing.
1. Chapter 1

**This story is what I've taken to calling an "interactive" fic. I'm interested in exploring certain fan-theories, and I'm curious if they seem plausible to anybody else or if there are major things I've missed. Very open to discussion.**

 **This story is not a cohesive one with a beginning and an end. If you are looking for that, look elsewhere.**

 **When I conceived the idea for this story, I envisioned something near the 15000 (roughly 30 pages in the font/size I prefer) mark, following a very specific psychological spiral of two of my favorite characters across any genre, sparked by the years I've spent thinking about it (unhealthy, but – I comfort myself – not uncommon) and a couple fan-theories I came across that mirrored my thoughts exactly.**

 **Then a couple other head-cannons of mine protested that I was never** _ **actually**_ **going to pen them stories in their own right. Thus this 30000+ word monster.**

 **It's currently both completed** _ **and**_ **edited, with 36 chapters of varying lengths (none particularly long) that I** _ **plan**_ **to publish every day or two. Consistency isn't my greatest strength, but we'll see what I can manage ;)**

 **Like I said, it's completed and edited, but I'm open to suggestions of other fan theories that I ignored, or other head-cannons, possibly to be included in some second-volume. Feel free to leave any thoughts/arguments (positive** _ **or**_ **negative) in the reviews.**

 **All of it takes place pre-** _ **Thor**_ **.**

 **Oh, last thing. The title is from a song by Linkin Park. It's one of my favorites by them. I'm not good at titles, and the lyrics are…well, a little close. And I don't know who did the picture I chose as the cover. I found it on Pintrest and I fell in love with it. If by some miracle they discover this mess, I hope they are not upset.**

"Once," the king's voice was low, pitched only for the two boys to hear, their small hands tight in his own, "mankind accepted a simple truth, that they were not alone in the universe."

He would teach them to love the lesser world of man as he had grown in his youth to love it, would quash in them any attempt to crush it.

"Some worlds man believed to be home to their gods. Others," he kept on, "they knew to fear."

The boys, young and exuberant as they were, knew enough not to interrupt. And this tale was a new one. They listened eagerly as they followed their father through the darkened hall of the Weapon's Vault. Mother never let them down here.

"From a realm of cold and darkness came the Frost Giants," he tightened his hold on the hands of _both_ boys, "threatening to plunge the mortal world into a new ice age. But humanity would not face this threat alone."

Behind his one remaining eye he saw the flash and gleam of Asgard's golden forces as they had been, "Our armies drove the Frost Giants back into the heart of their own world. The cost was great."

They needn't yet know _how_ great. They would learn enough when they were older. They need not yet know the truth of war and conquest. They were yet boys.

"In the end, their king fell. And the source of their power was taken from them. With the last great war ended, we withdrew from the other worlds and returned home to the Realm Eternal," the Golden Realm, their home, "Asgard. Here we remain as a beacon of hope, shining out across the stars. And though we have fallen into man's myths and legends, it was Asgard and its warriors that brought peace to the universe. But the day will come when one of you will have to defend that peace."

He looked at the darker boy as he said this. Being the elder, the throne would go to his brother, but, young as they both were, Loki was the more steady. Thor had ever been given to violent fits of temper. And though an uncertain child, and equal to his brother in rashness, Odin had seen Loki many times talk his brother out of some fit or sulk where all others had failed.

Such skill was bound to prove unendingly necessary as the years wore on.

Ever hungry after new knowledge, Loki pressed forward, "Do the Frost Giants still live?"

Thor interrupted him, "When I'm king, I'll hunt the monsters down and slay them all!" He turned, beaming and proud of what he felt certain to be the proper answer, "Just as you did, Father."

"A wise king," Odin looked at both his sons. The darker, then the fairer, "never seeks out war," a lesson he had been taught well from his own father, "But, he must always be ready for it."

There was a pause as he walked between the two boys, leaving the relic he had chosen to illustrate his history behind them. There was the patter of feet as Thor came up and snatched back the hand he'd let fall to his side.

"I'm ready, Father!"

Loki was bare moments behind, taking his other, "So am I!"

They were dear boys both, "Only one of you can ascend to the throne." He was fiercely proud of them. _Both_ of them. "But both of you were born to be kings."

" **Begin at the beginning." It's the beginning of the movie, and I thought it was a nice one.**

 **I promise I don't quote the movie throughout. This should be pretty much it until the last couple chapters. Stage-setting. Little else.**

 **Okay, far as points on the text go, I read up on Odin's backstory in the Marvel site. To save breath, space, and time, I'll quote it here.**

" **Bor taught his son to fight, think, rule and serve, but most importantly, Bor taught Odin how to defend the dreams of his father. What Bor should have educated Odin in is what it meant to have dreams of his own, for when Odin did dream, he dreamt about** **Earth** **. He wanted to make a legacy for himself there, so Odin created man. Bor was not pleased with his son's decision, and he unleashed every punishment upon the mortal plane within his power to bring.**

" **One fateful day, during a great war between the** **Asgardians** **and the** **Frost Giants** **, Odin would have his chance to continue his plans for mankind. Bor was among those fighting but left the main battle to pursue a fleeing giant. Bor stumbled into a trap set for him by a powerful sorcerer who turned Bor into snow. Odin came upon his father as the wind was pulling Bor's form apart, but before he was completely gone, Bor asked his son to find a sorcerer strong enough to restore him. He told Odin his spirit would rest in the snow until he was recalled. Odin told the other Asgardians his father had perished and was proclaimed king the same day. Each winter, Odin could swear he would hear the voice of his father calling to him, but more and more Odin would ignore the voice until he could no longer hear it."**

 **Also. After reading that, I watched the scene, isolated from the rest of the movie, just Odin telling his two little boys a story. The 'both of you were born to be kings' line hit me** _ **so**_ **differently, for whatever reason. The tone made me think 'God I love the two of you and you make me so proud' rather than, 'now I will insidiously set up your life-long rivalry'. Which is weird, 'cause I've pretty-much always been an on-and-off Odin-hater.**

 **Thoughts? Arguments? Counter-arguments? Remember, the entire point of this fic is to argue a point and I can't do that alone ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here we go!**

 **I imagine them to be about the same age as in chapter one.**

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"And then Thor," Loki was giggling and trying his hardest not to so he could get out his story in one breath, " _fell in_!"

"Did he?" Odin's eye glittered with amusement.

Thor frowned, "Did not," he growled, "You pushed me!"

"No I didn't!" Loki giggled.

"Boys," Frigga prompted calmly, "finish your supper."

"But Mother," Thor exclaimed, "I did _not_ fall! He pushed me!"

"Did _not_ ," Loki put out his tongue, "clumsy oaf."

"Loki," Odin cautioned.

"Well, he is." Loki said, "It's not my fault he fell. _I_ just thought it was funny."

"It's _not_ funny!" Thor shouted.

Frigga didn't bother looking up, " _Thor_ ,"

"It _is_ funny," Odin said and Thor's head shot up.

"But he _pushed_ me! Volstagg saw it!"

Loki's eyes flashed, "I was trying to _catch_ you, moron! Can't you tell the difference?"

"Loki," Frigga's said, "That's enough."

Odin was looking very levelly at their elder son, "Did you _feel_ Loki push you?"

"Odin!"

Odin glanced at his wife, "It's a fair question," he said, then turned back on his son, "Well?"

"Well…" Thor shifted uneasily, "I don't really _remember_ that part..." then, " _OW!_ Father! He kicked me!"

"Felt _that_!" Loki sneered, "Didn't you?"

" _LOKI_!" and Thor lunged across the table, scattering plates and cutlery.

Thor's chair clattered backwards and Loki's head popped out from under the table beside it. Meanwhile Thor had thrown himself at Loki's chair and, toppling it, was a mess of limbs on the floor.

"Get _back here_ you little twit!"

Laughing, Loki'd already fled.

With a roar Thor was after him.

"Boys!" Odin stood up, "Get back here!"

A shout from down the hall and something distant clattered.

Odin sank back to his seat.

Frigga lifted her forehead from her hands and delicately picked up her fork.

"Well," Odin straightened, "I'd say that went rather well."

Frigga began to laugh, "All I wanted was for the four of us to sit down and have a meal together,"

Odin put a comforting hand atop his wife's on the table. "They're only boys yet, Frigga," he told her, "They'll come around in time."

She locked eyes with him gratefully, before slipping her hand out from beneath his and looking back to her meal.

"To be honest with you," he took up his fork, "I'm quite encouraged."

"Oh?"

"Loki shows tactical skill."

"Odin!" in spite of herself, Frigga began to laugh.

He spread his hands, "He knew his brother's next move and countered it before it came. That's more than I can say of Thor."

Behind her hand, Frigga was laughing.

Far down the corridors, some other thing crashed.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLT**

"You upset you mother –"

"But Father, _Loki_ –"

Odin turned on him, "Silence _Boy_!"

Thor fell back a pace, toward the bed, eyes wide and scared.

Odin gathered back his temper. Of the things he'd inherited from his father, it was not the one of which he was the most proud.

" _Loki_ ," he took a long breath, "is concern of _mine_ at this time, and none of yours. It was a foolish quarrel, and the table is no place for such."

Thor scowled, "I thought _you_ said we were never to allow anyone to insult our honor."

"Oh?" Odin folded his arms, "And how had Loki insulted your honor?"

"He kicked me!"

"And why did he do that?"

"Because he's a little cheat," Thor muttered, "and he didn't think you'd see him."

"I think he thought _his_ honor in question. You did accuse him of pushing you."

"He did!"

"Thor, is that the truth?"

"Volstagg said –"

"Your cousin was not the one who was pushed and while the fact that he is older might carry weight among your _other_ friends it does not do so with me."

Thor sulked. "I don't know," he said.

"Your mother and I expect more of you, Thor. You are our eldest son,"

"But what about Lo–"

"I will deal with Loki when I am through with _you_!"

The boy's head bowed and his shoulders drew up. His voice was very small. "Yes, Father."

Softening, Odin tipped his chin back. For the sake of his boyish pride he ignored the tears that wanted to drop.

"You are a strong boy," Odin said, "And a brave one. You have much to offer, and that is why I expect much from you. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Father," he snuffled. He turned his head away.

"All right. Get ready for bed now. If you are capable of leaving the quarrel lie by morning, you are free then to leave your room and go about your business. Am I understood?"

"Yes, Father."

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"Loki."

The boy whirled and very nearly tripped over his own feet. The pen he'd been holding clattered to the ground and he ignored it, fumbling his hands behind his back and standing very straight.

He was afraid. Where Thor had been angry – had turned at him snarling when he entered his room – Loki was frightened.

Odin was never sure how to reprimand the younger boy. Thor was easier.

He stopped just beyond the door, mirroring the boy's posture with his hands clasped behind him, "You deliberately baited your brother." He said.

The boy shifted on his feet. "Yes, Father."

"Why?"

"He said," Loki looked at the ground. "He said that I pushed him."

"Well," Odin waited and finally Loki looked up, "Did you?"

His voice was very small, "No."

"Then what was there to take offense at? If you are in the right, Loki, then there is nothing to defend."

"But Thor's _always_ accusing me of things I didn't do!" his hands flew up, "I hate it! He's always getting me in trouble and half the time I didn't even _do_ anything!"

"Half the time," Odin said, "You did. Didn't you?"

Furtively, Loki smeared a hand at his eyes, "Yes," he admitted. "But he _always_ thinks it was me," he said, "He n-never _listens_ ,"

"Be that as it may, _you_ ought not bait him."

"What _else_ am I supposed to do?" Loki snapped. Then his face paled and he gulped, "I- I didn't mean – I'm sorry, Father, I –" his face crumpled.

Odin put a hand on his dark head, "Loki,"

After a long minute, the boy turned his face up. One side of his lip was caught in his teeth and tears trembled at the edges of his long lashes.

"Loki," he said again, softer, pressing his thumb along the boy's forehead and into his hair, "Do you think you're in trouble _now_ because of what Thor said?"

The boy shrugged.

"Loki,"

"I don't _know_ ," he said wretchedly.

"You are not."

Loki blinked furiously at the tears.

"You are in trouble because you started a fight with him."

"But Father," his vice rasped in his throat, "He _said_ –"

"I know what he said."

"Then what am I to do?" he asked, "I can't just let him –"

"No," Odin agreed, "you can't. But there are better ways to prove your innocence, Loki. Your mother and I were already convinced."

Loki blinked startledly at him, "You were?"

"Yes." Odin nodded. "But your mother was very unhappy at the way it all turned out."

Loki dropped his head, "I know," his voice wavered. He took a breath that shook, "I'm sorry," he whispered, "everything I do breaks. When you asked," he gulped back a sob, "I _just_ wanted to tell you what _happened_ ,"

"Shh," awkwardly, Odin patted him on his head, "That is not the truth," he said. "You don't break everything," he thought about it a moment, and gave a slight shrug, "just a few unhappily-placed vases."

Loki gave a shaky jerk of a laugh.

Odin ruffled his dark hair, "You only have to learn how better to use your tongue."

"Yes, Father," he managed.

"Get ready for bed, then." Odin said, "And perhaps tomorrow we can try again."

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The door to Thor's room creaked open.

The blond boy whirled on the bed, afraid it was his nurse and he'd be in trouble for being up past his bedtime.

It wasn't.

It was only Loki.

Thor scowled at him and dropped back down onto his backside on the mattress. "What do _you_ want?"

Closing the door behind him, the younger boy shrugged, "My own horse." He grinned. "What do _you_ want?"

Annoyance forgotten, Thor grinned back, "A sword!" he bounced onto his knees. "To do battle with the enemies of Asgard!"

"You're not going to get very far." Loki pointed out.

"Heimdal will open the Bifrost to me and I will go as far as I want!"

"You'll _walk_ all the way to the Bifrost?" Loki scrambled up next to him on the bed.

Thor frowned. He hadn't thought of that. Then he shrugged. "Well," he said, "Either way, I'll be the most feared warrior of all! What of you," he nudged Loki's ribs, "and your _horse_?"

"I don't know," Loki shrugged, moving farther back from Thor's advances. "We'll go places."

"You'll just _go places_? Where's the honor in that?

"Well, maybe _I'll_ learn something." Loki said. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Didn't Father tell you to stay in your room?"

Loki grinned, "No. He told me to go to bed."

"He didn't mean _my_ bed."

"He didn't specify."

Thor bounced up and down, "What if I don't want you here?"

Loki's grin flashed, "What if I want to stay?"

Then Thor was standing and he was jumping up and down, "I'm bigger than you, so I get my way!"

"But I can jump higher!" Loki scrambled up.

"Bet you can't!" Thor laughed.

But his foot got tangled as he jumped and when Loki tried to dodge him, the younger boy slipped on the edge of the bed and fell backward where he landed with a crash. Abruptly, he stopped laughing.

"Loki!" Genuinely frightened, Thor pushed his face up out of the covers and lurched over the side of the bed. "Loki!"

He was pushing himself up, grimacing with a hand on the back of his head.

A weird kind of smile tugged at the side of his mouth. "You pushed me," he said.

"I did not!" Thor shot back, "I fell down and you _know_ it!"

"Then we're even."

Thor remembered the argument at dinner and he understood the smile.

For a long moment they only looked at each other. Loki wasn't smiling anymore. His eyes were hard and bright.

Then, without saying anything, Thor stuck his hand out and, without saying anything either, Loki took it. Thor pulled him back up onto the bed.

"What kind of dragons will we hunt for?" Thor asked.

"But," Loki faltered, "Asgard doesn't have dragons anymore,"

Thor rolled his eyes, "In Vanaheim," he said, "Where we'll go on our _horses_."

Loki grinned.

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"They're boys, Frigga,"

"I know," she said, "But they fight so often, sometimes I'm afraid –"

Odin put a finger to his lips. The door squeaked.

The soft light spilled onto the floor of the darkened hallway.

He smiled and he beckoned his queen nearer to see.

Thor was still dressed, fast asleep, propped up by the pillows at the head of his bed, leaning against his brother, who was sleeping beside him in his nightshirt with one of their great picture books spread across both their laps. Loki's hand was on the page as though he'd been tracing something out for Thor to see when they'd fallen asleep. Thor's arm was loosely draped across the younger boy's shoulders.

Blankets and toys were strewn about the floor, but that was secondary.

Behind him he heard Frigga give a soft, crooning sound.

Gently, he stepped back and closed the door.

"I don't think you need worry any longer," he said.

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 **What did Thor "fall in" to? Don't know. Not the point. Fill that in as you like. The point of this chapter was to show the boys interacting with each other and with their parents – specifically their father – in a more positive light than they're typically portrayed.**

 **My argument goes like this. Loki's pissed with Odin. Thor too, but I think mostly Odin. There's a lot more doubt where Thor's concerned. If your dad had ignored me my whole life, then you might be pissed – if fact, you probably would be – but imagine if you and your dad** _ **used**_ **to have a great relationship, then, for whatever reason, he just stopped. You'd be left wondering if you'd done something wrong, and if so, what. In a kid, that would breed a lot of insecurity and misplaced guilt. I think the fandom is pretty unanimous in agreement that Loki has both of these problems.**

 **Also, when watching** _ **The Dark World**_ **I'm always horrified by Odin. I** _ **always**_ **wonder what could have possibly gone so wrong that you could ever say that to your child. I get that there are a-hole parents out there, but, seriously? If I was Loki, and I had always known my father was** _ **that**_ **set against me, I would have given up trying to get his approval a lot sooner. Perhaps Loki's more stubborn than I am, but, just like I did in that last paragraph, what if it was more than that? His insecurities make more sense if he's always gotten mixed-messages from Odin.**

 **And as far as Odin goes, I don't know about anyone else, but if two of my friends do the same stupid thing, I'm gonna be more pissed with the one I thought knew better. It's like "Of course** _ **he**_ **did that, he's an idiot, but you were the Chosen One!" (Pardon the** _ **Star Wars**_ **reference. I'm a lover of many fandoms) Anyway, my thoughts.**

 **On the current chapter again, I think Odin and Frigga have to have a really good relationship. I mean, when she puts up with everything she puts up with, they have to.**

 **Originally, I wasn't going to show Loki being disciplined in any way. I was going to show Thor being a feisty little guy, imply that Loki also was going to get a "talking-to" and leave it at that. But I wanted to see how differently they might handle it. I took all my inspiration from the scene in** _ **Thor**_ **where Thor gets banished. Thor shouts back, Loki shuts up. Then I made them six/seven-year olds. And I did like resolving the argument at the end.**

 **Oh. The line "If you are in the right then there is nothing to defend" was one I put in very deliberately. I think it's something Loki decided to live his life by. Character-forming moments.**

' **Startledly' is not a real word. Or it wasn't. It is now.**

 **I plan on leaving you lovely people a love letter like this at the end of every chapter. It's part of my strategy. I'm explaining my argument, so you can tell me where I got it wrong and I can make a better one. Yes, I'm one of** _ **those**_ **special people.**

 **Thoughts? Arguments? Counter-arguments? Hit me ;)**

 **Oh, especially let me know if character slips. That is in the impression of the reader more than anyone else from my experience (truth being "in the eye of the beholder" and all that), and my argument only matters if it proves plausible that the** _ **real**_ **characters would have done/said what I'm suggesting they may have done/said, not if my construct of character does/says it. Let me know!**

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 **Not sure if anyone who's followed me and mine are gonna now get the updated and edited version of this chapter. I'm a cave man as far as computers are concerned. I mean, my** _ **grandparents**_ **are about as savvy as I am. It's sad.**

 **Anyways. Sorry to clutter up your inbox if you did.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm having the darndest time with the format Fanfic wants to publish with. Sorry if the last chapter got vaguely confusing with abruptly changing scenes. That was not intended to happen. In** _ **my**_ **copy of the document, there were skipped lines** _ **and**_ **symbols separating them. For whatever reason, when I try to add those back in, they get deleted.**

 **Perhaps if I use letters the site will be fooled into thinking it's a really long word. Here goes. If it works, I'll go back and try to re-submit chapter 2.**

 **Also, may or may not be able to get back tomorrow. I'll do my best!**

 **Same age**

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There was an insistent prodding at Thor's elbow.

Groaning, he crushed his face against his pillow. It wasn't morning yet. It _wasn't_.

"Go'way," he mumbled.

"Thor," the voice was very small, and, groaning, he pushed his head up to see.

Loki stood, very small and very white in the dark with his eyes like huge, dark smudges in his face.

"What'sit?" Thor grumbled. "Why'ren't you _sleeping_?"

"I _was_ ," Loki faltered.

"Why a-" Thor yawned, getting up on his elbows, "why aren't you _now_?" he yawned again and he didn't hear what Loki said. He pressed his hair out of his face, "What?"

"I'm scared," Loki hugged his arms.

"Of what?" Thor laughed.

"Dreams," he said, " _again_ ,"

"Oh," Thor didn't know what to say to that.

"Can I –" then Loki stopped. "Can I stay with you?" he whispered, "I don't want to go back to my room…"

"All right," Thor decided, "Fine," he flopped back down, "But if you kick me I'll knock you on the floor."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLT**

 **Not that I needed spacers this time. Oh well.**

 **Short this time, I know. Sorry if it bothers you. Longer next time. Promise.**

 **This one doesn't offer much in the way of controversy. Mostly wanted to show the two of them being cute and looking after each other, without being syrupy. I don't know a lot of little boys who are syrupy, and I know a lot of fics (which I** _ **love**_ **, by the way) that are. The point here is believability.**

 **On a darker note, I wanted to have a basis on which to show how their relationship gets worse as they get older. Much of a downer as that is.**

 **Thoughts? Arguments? Counter-arguments? Comments? I'm up for it all.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm envisioning them at about 7/8 here, with Thor the higher edge of that and Loki the lower. Not that that's too different from where they've been thus far.**

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"Loki," Frigga didn't look up after the first glance, "shut the door behind you, please."

Loki often came in to amuse himself with her while she worked. It reminded her of when he'd been small, just beginning to toddle about. He had followed her everywhere on his soft little feet.

The door swung closed and Loki said nothing. But that wasn't odd. He was often very quiet.

Then a crash and the door flew open again.

Frigga's head shot up and Thor was standing, wind-blown in the doorway.

"A prince doesn't run away," Thor's hands were fisted on his hips, voice imperious.

"Thor, shut the door."

"In a minute," he said dismissively and went back to his brother, "Where is your honor?"

Frigga's lips pursed and she straightened from her work, "Thor,"

Loki was sitting on the bench a ways from her desk and Thor stood between them.

"Shut _up_ ," his voice was strange and too thin, "Just go _away_."

Frowning, Frigga raised her head properly for the first time. "What's going on?"

Thor turned, grinning, "Loki fell off his horse," he folded his arms sternly, then, glowering down at his brother, "And then he ran away like a coward."

Loki was bent double with his head in his hands, but what alarmed Frigga was the fact that he made no argument. She brushed past her elder son and tipped Loki's head back. His skin was hot and slick with sweat. Tears stood in his green eyes and she couldn't remember the last time she'd seen her brave little boy cry.

"Thor, get Eir," she turned back to her younger boy, brushing back the hair that clung to his forehead, "Loki, what's wrong?"

"Everything…" he was hugging himself, bent over his arms, "Everything hurts…" his eyes squeezed shut and he bent past her hand. "I can't –" sobbed, "can't make the ground stop –"

"Thor!"

The blond boy was watching with his feet frozen to the spot and his eyes growing wider and wider in his head as though he were only just realizing the seriousness of the situation. He jolted and looked frantically at his mother.

"Get. Eir."

With a crash and a clatter, he was gone.

"Shh," she stroked Loki's head.

"Am I dying?" his voice shook.

"No!" she kissed him, "No, Darling,"

"Then what's ha-appening to me?"

"Shh, you'll only make it worse."

He winced, "Mama," she took his hand, "Mama, I'm scared,"

"I know."

His hand was shaking in hers, and hot. She felt a spike in the vibrating energy always present in the air about her.

"Loki!"

"It hurts," he whimpered, "it hurts it hurts it _hurts_ it –"

He pulled his hand away from hers, cradling both of them against him. He was crying and his eyes were huge and scared.

"Loki," she took his hands and he tried to pull them away. "No, Darling, you must listen to me,"

There was a hum in the air that tingled in her blood and the glow of _seirthr_ – so like her own – began to show through the skin of his hands.

" _Amma_!" panicking, he thrashed to get his hands out of hers.

"Shh, Loki, look at me. Look nowhere but at my eyes," she folded his hands into hers and bent forward, pressing their joined hands above her heart, raising her own _seithr_ to meet and balance his, "Shh, Darling, you have to try and relax,"

The door flew open with Eir – ever calm – and Thor close on her heels.

She felt the energy surge in him and he sobbed.

She squeezed his hands, "Shh, look at me, Darling, just look at me,"

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLT**

"He will be very powerful," Eir said.

Loki was sleeping, with his head on Frigga's lap. She ran her fingers through his damp hair. "I know," she said. In-born magic was a rare thing among the Realms, most common in royal families, inherited from parent to child, and most potent in mixed-blood. Some never manifested their ability.

"In all my years," Eir mused, wiping her hands, "I have never seen it surge like that."

"Nor have I."

 _Seithr_ that was innate rather than learned or stolen, lay dormant from birth. It manifested differently in every person, though the first time it chose to show itself was always the worst. The surges became easier after that. It was commonly believed that the stronger that first burst of power, the more powerful the bearer, but it was un-proven, as many who manifested never pursued any kind of real training beyond the rudimental ability to manage and make use of their gift. Very few truly pursued it to its true extent.

But, knowing her son, she was certain he would.

He would be the greatest in all of Asgard.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLT**

The door squeaked.

"Loki?"

He was so tired. He turned his head.

Thor came in and climbed up onto the side of his bed.

"Are you better?"

Wincing, Loki pushed himself up, "What time is it?"

"After supper," Thor said, "But you're better?"

His head felt strange and hot and hollow, and everything in him was weak and shaking and empty. His mouth was dry. He shrugged, "I guess."

"Good!" Thor's eyes sparked, "Want to go out to the garden?"

His eyes ached and it was hard to keep them open. "No."

"Well," Thor bounced on his knees, "What shall we play, then?"

"Shh," Loki swatted at him, "Stop that."

Thor stilled. Loki hadn't been expecting that.

Thor peered earnestly at him and as Loki opened one eye he nearly laughed.

"Shall I…" Thor ventured, "Shall I tell you a story?"

Loki opened both eyes and looked at him, "What?"

"You know," Thor flushed, "a story."

"…Okay," Loki said, "I heard you, I just didn't…" he shook his head, "If you want to."

"All right," Thor sat up straighter on the bed, "You lay down."

"Yes, Mum." Loki snorted.

Thor glowered at him and, meekly, the younger boy lay back.

Thor began telling his story and when their mother came in to find him, he was still telling it and Loki had his head on his shoulder. He was asleep.

"Thor,"

Thor shook his head, keeping on with his telling.

"Thor, Darling," she traced her fingers through his blonde hair, "You should let him rest. He needs his sleep."

"But Amma," Thor threw her a quick glance, "Can't I stay with him?"

"He needs his rest."

Thor shook his head, "But I have to protect him."

"Thor,"

"Mother I almost –" he stopped then, and reigned in his voice.

She tipped his chin back and tears wavered against his lashes.

"Would Loki have _died_ , Mother?" he whispered.

"No, Darling," she kissed his brow and he hurriedly smeared the tears away from his eyes. "He will be fine. He's only tired now. One day, Loki will be very powerful,"

"Like you and Father? With magic? I heard you and Eir talking about magic."

"More powerful than either of us," she told him.

He watched his brother with very wide eyes.

Not once in all this time had Loki moved.

"Come along, Thor," she held out her hand, "It's past your bedtime and your brother needs his rest."

"Are you _sure_ I can't stay with him?"

"Yes."

Thor sighed. Then he got cautiously out of the bed. She watched him fondly as he carefully and clumsily arranged the covers over his brother.

Then he came over to her where she stood by the door and she pet his long blonde hair, leading him by his shoulder out of the room and shutting the door behind them.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLT**

 **All the magic-stuff (how's that for a technical term, huh?) I made up. When Loki learns of his mother's death in** _ **The Dark World**_ **he gives off some sort of…burst of energy or something. It knocks everything in the cell around. And – I get that it's different – Scarlet Witch in** _ **Age of Ultron**_ **does the same thing (after her brother's death). Both connected to big emotions. My theory is that magic is bound up very strongly with emotion and that a big part of the first thing a person would learn who was born with such power is how to not blow up the house when they have a temper tantrum. Might that contribute to Loki's general facial apathy in** _ **Thor**_ **? I'm not saying it** _ **couldn't**_ **be the case.**

 **In the main I wanted to show him going to his mom for help with something he didn't understand, because it hurt him and scared him and I wanted to see him admit it. I also wanted to activate Thor's big-brother instincts, because, as much of a wild-card as he is, he really loves Loki and wants to take care of him. He's just a little rough around the edges.**

 **And if anybody's noticing yet that this story promised to be about both of them and is focusing mainly on Loki, I didn't know how else to write it. Loki gives things more thought. He and Frigga are better story-tellers. They notice details. Thor's a little more flighty. I knew I could see more of Thor** _ **and**_ **Loki through Loki's eyes than I could through Thor's. But there'll be more of Thor as we go on. Promise.**

 **Thoughts? Comments? Arguments?**

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLT**

 **On an off note – just finished issue #17 of** _ **Loki: Agent of Asgard**_ **. It's amazing. I'm not a huge comic-book fan, this is only the third series I've read more than a few panels of, and, thus far, it's the only one I've finished. If you haven't read it, do. Just don't give it too much time between issues. It's better if you read it all at once. Points are made in issue 1 that are pivotal in 17.**

 **Haven't read** _ **Young Avengers**_ **. Feel like I should now.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I picture this as being a while after the last one. Maybe they're about 8/9? I picture Volstagg as being about 12. Hlin is probably Volstagg's age. Maybe even a little older, but shy, so she seems younger than she is.**

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

Volstagg would never quite be sure how he had managed to become – for all intents and purposes – _nursemaid_ – to his cousins. Thor was not _so_ much his younger. But, he had little better to do with his time, and if the Queen asked it of him, how could he refuse?

He didn't know _why_ she didn't wish them to have a nursemaid any longer, perhaps she'd thought them too old. Which led him to wonder why she didn't just leave them to look after each other.

From the next room there was a crash and he heard Loki laughing.

Never mind that question.

Or why then – of all people – she'd chosen _him_. But, there was the tie of blood. And he _was_ more easy about things than either of his hot-headed young cousins.

With a sight, Volstagg got up and went into the next room where the two of them were fighting, again. A vase from the table had been toppled, but nothing had broken, this time.

"Hey," he tugged at Loki, who was nearer him, "Knock it off,"

The little weasel wriggled out of his hand.

Volstagg couldn't tell if they fought because they were upset with one another or if they only enjoyed it. It happened often enough in a day that they _had_ to enjoy it.

"Hey!" they tumbled and he cuffed the side of Thor's head, getting his elbow between the two of them and driving the boys apart. "Enough already." Easy as he was, he was strong and though the boys were fierce it was not hard for him.

Loki tripped on his own foot as Volstagg dragged him back and landed with a yelp on his behind, pulling free of Volstagg's hold. After a startled moment he began to giggle behind his hand.

Thor scowled at him.

Volstagg sighed, "What's the matter with the two of you?"

"He won't leave me alone!" Thor said.

"I'm _bored_ ," Loki protested, "And you won't play with me anymore!"

" _I'm_ going to be a great king. I have to know my history for that."

"You're gonna be a boring old man, that's what!"

Thor jumped forward, but Volstagg tightened his hand on the elder prince's collar and Loki darted behind him.

"Tell him he's wrong!" Thor shouted, "Or at _least_ let me hit him!"

"Loki,"

"Well," Loki sauntered off to the seat by the wall a pace or two behind them and sprawled easily on it, "I'm _not_ wrong."

"Is Father a 'boring old man'?"

"Yep." Loki grinned.

"Take _that_ back!" Thor shouted. He pulled fiercely on Volstagg's hold. " _Volstagg_!"

Loki put out his tongue.

Volstagg watched the younger boy, "I'll let him loose."

Loki's eyes went briefly wide and he shrunk smaller on the chair, a little smile wavering on his lips, "Please don't."

" _Let me GO!_ "

Volstagg shook him.

Loki was watching, very quiet, on the seat, wary yet of Volstagg's threat.

It was nearly time for their mid-day meal, the Queen liked them to sit down for it, as much as they _didn't._ "Go to the table," Volstagg decided. Giving them something new to do usually helped. He let go of Thor, "And _don't_ ," he cuffed the boy lightly as he moved toward his brother and Thor glared at him, "even _think_ about it."

Thor was grumbling under his breath but Volstagg didn't bother listening. The younger boy stole up next to his brother.

"You know who's really going to be a boring old man?" he heard Loki whisper. Thor said nothing. Knowing him, he was sulking. But Loki did not need the prompting, "Vostagg will," he finished.

When Volstagg turned back, a slow grin was growing on Thor's face and the younger boy's eyes were snapping with laughter.

"You know that I can let him squash you?"

Loki shrugged, "Mama wouldn't like that," he skipped up to the table.

Volstagg watched him. That one was going to grow up to be a little rat, he decided. A charming little rat, but a little rat nonetheless.

As troublesome as his cousins were, Volstagg couldn't help but like both of them.

The door clicked and Volstagg turned.

It was Hlin. One of the Queen's younger handmaids.

"Lok-" all of a sudden Thor went very quiet.

"What?" Loki looked up curiously.

Thor was watching the girl. She smiled at them and went about her business with her pretty face turned away. She was shy. Volstagg had spoken to her several times, never at length. She often came in and out as he looked after his cousins, fetching things for the queen. She vanished into the next room.

"Thor, what?"

Thot still did not respond and under his breath Volstagg chuckled.

Loki looked at him, then back at Thor.

Hlin came back then, holding the vase in one hand and a few of the spilled flowers in the other, "Boys," she chided, "you _have_ to be more _careful_ ,"

"It was an accident!" Thor almost shouted.

Understanding dawned in Loki's bright eyes, but he just as quickly hid it. He snorted, "Some accident," he muttered.

Volstagg very nearly laughed.

By this time Thor had hopped out of his seat and was talking hurriedly to the girl as he vanished after her around the corner, Volstagg presumed he was helping her to pick up the spilt flowers. He couldn't make out the words, quite, but Loki was rolling his eyes, muttering to himself at the table, watching the doorway.

Then they reappeared, Thor offered to take the vase Hlin was holding.

"All right," she hesitated, "don't drop it,"

"I'm sorry, Hlin," he said. He brushed her hand as he took it from her, "My brother and I will be more careful."

Loki snorted.

Hlin didn't notice. "Thank you, Thor," she smiled at him and he blushed fiercely red, trying to hide it as he carried the thing to an unassuming corner where it might fare better than before. It was comical how much taller she was than him.

"Now, what did I…Oh! Yes," she turned again in the doorway and vanished.

Thor was still positioning the vase, rubbing the palms of his hands on his pants, then shifting the vase again.

Then Hlin came back, quick as the shadow of a cloud across the sun, with her head down and a little smile on her mouth. And with no more than a brief, smiling glance at the three of them, she was gone with the door closed behind her.

Loki turned languidly about in his chair, "You _like_ her!"

"I _do not!_ " Thor flushed even deeper red, shrugging up his shoulders and marching back to his seat.

Chortling, Loki turned himself back around to face him, "Yes you are!"

"Shut _up_!" Thor glanced furtively at the door, as though Hlin might be listening.

Volstagg chuckled softly.

Thor glared at him little brother, "I can still hit you."

Loki shrugged, "Then I'll break the vase."

"How would _that_ help!" Thor threw out his arms.

Loki grinned at him, "I'll tell her it was you."

"She won't believe you."

He shrugged again, folding his arms on the table. He kicked his feet carelessly, "She will when I tell her you _like_ her,"

"Loki! Don't you _dare_ –"

"Then don't hit me."

"Volstagg!" Thor shouted, slamming his fist against the table, "I demand sustenance!"

"Nice," Loki smirked, "I'm sure those're the manners a nice girl like Hlin appreciates in a man."

"LOKI!"

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **My first major head-cannon! This was originally going to be some kind of one-shot of its own, something like 'Adventures in Asgardian Babysitting', but I couldn't think of a plot, or even just a series of shenanigans that would do in place of one. So this is what I got.**

 **How is Volstagg related to them in this my head-verse? A cousin. Beyond that, no clue. He has great respect for the queen. But, really? Who knows her and doesn't?**

 **I liked the idea that Thor was chilling and Loki was bugging him. It** _ **had**_ **to happen sometime, I mean, Loki couldn't** _ **always**_ **have wanted to hide in the libraries, and there** _ **had**_ **to have been a time when Thor thought to better himself in some way that didn't involve weapons – on second thought – no there didn't. But I like this especially since most fics go the other way with them** _ **all the time**_ **.**

 **Hlin is a name, listed the mythology as belonging to one of Frigga's handmaids. I wanted Thor to have a crush on some girl and Loki to tease him about it. That's it, that's all. Is she the girl Volstagg one-day marries? Maybe. Why not? Could be plenty of reasons. This is the only place she comes up in my fic.**

 **Thoughts? Comments? Arguments? Go for it.**


	6. Chapter 6

**About the same as last time**

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"Did you _see_ –" it was Loki. He was laughing too hard to get the entire sentence out on the first try. "Did you see her _face_?"

" _Shhh!_ "

"What have you two done _now_?" Volstagg stood wearily up from the bench by the window. Because they had vanished into the back bedroom, he had grown distracted.

To the point that he had not even realized they'd left.

"Loki!" Thor protested.

"Come now, Brother," Loki turned, giving Thor a wide smile, "Volstagg is our friend!"

It was odd to watch the younger boy work. Even as young as he was.

Then Volstagg noticed the bowl of cakes Thor was holding.

He gave a deep sigh, "Where did you get those?" he put out his hand, "Give them to me."

"Hey!"

Loki grinned, unabashed, "Peace, Brother." He turned back to their interrogator, bouncing on his toes, "I tricked Cook into giving us sweets. _You_ like sweets, don't you?"

Volstagg put the bowl behind him and pressed the bridge of his nose. He knew he was supposed to protect the household from the princes. But it was an odd place in which to be and he felt himself poorly suited for it some days. "How did you do that?"

"Interested?" Loki was laughing at him.

Volstagg looked down at the imp-child. He tousled the boy's dark hair. "Say I am."

Loki swatted his hand away, "Fine," he grinned, "Like this."

"LOKI!" Thor lunged at the boy and Volstagg whirled to catch the elder prince before he could do unwarranted damage. Then, all of a sudden, Loki was no longer before him, and Thor was laughing.

Whirling again on his heel, Volstagg found Loki already half-way across the room with the stolen sweets.

Volstagg couldn't help it. He laughed.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Short and sweet. Wanted to show Thor and Loki using something like the trick they used in** _ **The Dark World**_ **, as the applications for such a trick are endless.**

 **Not much controversy here, but I like seeing them work together.**

 **And does Loki make the comment about Volstagg liking sweets because Volstagg's a little heavy? I don't know. Maybe.**

 **Thoughts? Comments? Arguments? Counter-Arguments? By now I'm sure you know the drill.**

 **Oh –** _ **might**_ **be adding 1 more chapter. We'll see. I thought of a step that I think I skipped. I'll have to re-read what I've got and see if I can fit it in, but if I can't, this thing's gonna have 37 chapters.**

 **Fair warning ;)**

 **ALSO! For anyone who's curious – I know I've stuck with them being really young thus far, but the end's gonna take us right up to where the movie starts. Lots of growth ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Probably about the same as they've been. Sif's the same age as they are, give or take.**

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"So then we took out the horses and –"

Odin surfaced from his thoughts. Thor had been talking for some time, though Odin had very little idea what he'd said.

"'Twas well done."

"I was the strongest of them all!"

Odin patted the boy on his shoulder.

Thor was growing tall, and strong. Odin did not doubt his boast.

He stood at the railing over-looking the training grounds below where his warriors sparred. A black shape streaked above the wall and he put up a gloved hand to accept him. The raven would have news.

"It is well, my son." Odin interrupted the boy. "Go now and find your brother."

"Where are you going?"

"I have business to attend to."

"King's business?"

"Yes."

"Can I come?"

"No, Thor."

"But," the boy stood to every inch of his height, "I have to learn all of a king's business if I'm to be a great king one day."

"That is true," Odin ruffled his blonde hair, "But not yet. Be a boy yet a while longer. Manhood will come soon enough. Go and see what mischief your brother gets into."

"Yes Father."

Odin turned to the bird that had landed easily on his arm. Huginn cocked his head at him, his black eyes winking in the light. It was a relief that the bird's messages were communicated differently than the boy's. Odin was not sure how much more of Thor's story he could have endured.

Huginn spread his wings and crowed.

Odin shook his head. The bird demanded attention and he was remiss.

"What is it you've seen?"

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"What are you doing?"

Loki sat up, startled.

The girl laughed, "You didn't have to stop," she shrugged, "I was just curious."

"I didn't –" he stammered. His cheeks colored and he swung his legs over so he was sitting on the bench in a normal way, rather than lying back on it, as he had been. "I wasn't really doing anything," he said, "just looking."

She tipped her head to one side, golden hair swinging down over her shoulder, "At what?"

He shrugged, "The sky."

"Hm," she looked up, then shrugged again, "It's nice."

"I like to imagine what's out there," he said, "You know, out in the other realms."

She didn't say anything. She just looked around at the garden.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Are you Loki?"

He blinked, then shook his head, "Yes, I –" he said, "I am,"

"I thought so. I'm Sif. I met your brother the other day in the market."

"Oh," Thor had been out without their parent's permission. He'd wanted Loki to come along, but Loki hadn't. Father had been furious.

"He said you knew magic." She looked curious and Loki's heart beat too fast.

He looked away, "Some,"

"Can you show me?"

As he reached for it, it slipped away from him. He wasn't sure he remembered how…"I don't really know anything…"

"Come on! You _have_ to know _something_!"

"Um," he chewed his lip, "all right,"

He focused on the space between his hands and he felt movement. Looking up, he saw that Sif had come in close, peering down at his hands.

The space between them glowed and she clapped her hands.

"My mother can do that!" she said, "I always wanted to, but she says I don't have the skill,"

"You," Loki shrugged, letting the light wink out from between his hands, "There are ways you can learn it…"

"What can you do with it?"

He shrugged again, "Not much, really. I'm only just star –"

"If I had a wooden sword, could you make it as sharp as steel?"

She sounded like Thor. It was less becoming in a girl. He frowned, "Why would I want to do that?"

"What if you didn't have a sword?"

"It would make no difference. _You_ can't use one."

She frowned, "Neither can you, I bet."

"But I will. You have no need. You're a girl –"

"Oh is _that_ why?" she flared, "Why shouldn't a girl learn to use a sword? We can be killed, can't we? Why shouldn't we know how to fight?"

"Because," Loki didn't like arguing with her. Her anger was sudden and it unsettled him. "There are warriors who can protect –"

"Warriors who can protect me because I'm a woman? How about warriors who can protect _you_ because you're a pampered little prince!"

Loki stood up, angry in his own turn, "They won't have to! I'll be a great warrior when I'm grown!"

"And so shall I!"

"Who ever heard of a great warrior woman?"

"Thor said your own _mother_ was a warrior."

"When did he _tell_ you all this?"

"Well she _was_ , wasn't she?"

"That's different! She was Vana and she was a Shield Maid."

"That's _like_ a warrior."

"But it's not _the same_!"

Sif folded her arms, "I don't want to fight you about this. You're just like everybody else, and I am going to prove all of you wrong. Wait and see."

Wait and see. Loki rolled his eyes. What in the Nine did this girl think she was doing, just barging into his mother's garden and getting into fights about becoming a warrior. It was preposterous. And he hadn't even been _doing_ anything to provoke her. He'd been minding his own business.

"What are you doing here, anyway?"

"I was _looking_ for your brother. _He_ doesn't think a girl too weak to be a warrior."

"I didn't _say_ that!"

"Oh? What do you _think_ you said, then?"

"It's just not normal!" he shrugged, "That's all."

"You think I'm not good enough to do it?"

"No! It just doesn't _usually_ happen, and I don't see _why_ you care so much."

"Sif?" Thor had rounded the corner and stopped, grinning at the both of them. "You met my brother!"

"Yes," Loki went back to the bench, "Yes she did."

"I," Sif brushed a long blonde lock of hair back behind her shoulder, "I wanted to see you again,"

She blushed and Loki almost laughed. She _liked_ Thor, and Thor had no idea.

"Good! Because I just found a new passageway!"

"Where does it go?"

Thor was excited, "I don't know. I was just going to find Loki so we could explore it! Do you want to come along?"

"Yes!"

"Won't your _mother_ worry where you are?" Loki drawled.

Sif glared at him, "I _told_ her where I was going. She said it was fine." She put out her tongue.

Loki lay back on the bench and rolled his eyes.

"Then let's go!" Thor stopped, turning back a little, "Loki, aren't you coming?"

"Rather not," he said. "I like it here. Where it's _quiet_."

"If you're sure…" Thor hesitated a moment, then Sif said something and the two of them were gone.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

It was one of those awkward nights that Father sat with them for dinner.

Thor would not stop talking, going on and on about the passage he and Sif had explored. There didn't seem to be anything particularly spectacular about the passageway itself, but he'd obviously had a good time.

Father didn't say much. He nodded every now and then, looking at Thor as he spoke.

Mother touched Loki's hand and he jumped, "What did _you_ think of it?" she asked.

Loki shrugged.

"He didn't go." Thor said.

"Why not?"

"I didn't _want_ to." Loki answered. He didn't like it when she looked at him like that. It was one thing when he was sick. Another entirely when he wasn't.

"That's all right," she stopped looking at him, "What did you do instead?"

"Nothing."

He'd stayed on the bench, looking out at the sky, and when that had gotten boring – which was very quickly after Sif's interruption – he'd gone wandering around the garden, poking at the plants and trying out what few things he did know with what little grasp of magic he had. He'd been amusing himself as he liked, but it wasn't anything that merited a story. It didn't merit Mother's pity – He didn't like Sif! Plain and simple. And it didn't merit Father's attention.

Father never seemed particularly interested when he was talking. And Mother was just trying to make up for that. He wished she wouldn't. It would be easier if she didn't notice.

"Nothing?" she pressed.

She was looking at him again, gentle and quiet and he snapped.

" _Nothing_!" he said, "I did _nothing_!"

" _Loki_ ," Father's voice was low and menacing.

For the first time, Loki didn't care. He got up and he left.

Behind him he heard Father say, "Let him go."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

A tap at his door.

Loki stayed on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

The door squeaked, "Can I come in?"

He sighed, then sat up.

Mother took it as a positive sign, which it was. She came in and sat next to him on the bed.

"I'm sorry I shouted at you," he told her.

"I know," she combed his hair back with her fingertips. Her hand felt cold. "What is it, Darling?"

She wanted to help…

He shrugged, "Nothing,"

Her arm pulled tight about his shoulders, tugging him against her, "Don't start _that_ again,"

In spite of himself, he laughed.

"That's my boy," she kissed the side of his head. "Loki, is something bothering you?"

"I don't know," he slumped a little, "I'm tired,"

She touched his forehead and her hand felt cold.

"You _are_ a little warm, do you feel well?"

He laughed, "I feel tired."

She kissed him again, "Then you go to sleep and we'll see how you feel in the morning."

"All right."

She stood up, "And don't let me catch you up late reading again,"

He grinned, "But _Mama_ …"

"No," she smiled at him, framed by the doorway, "None of that. Go to sleep."

He lay down.

"I love you," she said, "Sleep well."

"Love you too," he mumbled.

A moment's pause, then he heard the door shut.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **This is the one that I warned you about yesterday.**

 **This fic is now 37 chapters long.**

 **And yes, that means I literally wrote this one yesterday.**

 **I don't usually do a lot of editing, so, hopefully, this one won't be noticeably different in any real way as far as typos go. I've re-read a couple posted chapters and I did notice a few. Sorry.**

 **Okay. Point I wanted to make: Odin's been waiting for his sons to grow up and be interesting. He's not good with this in-between stage known as 'childhood/adolescence'. He's also distracted by kingly-things. Understandable. Lots of people are like that – not even just guys. Unfortunate, and hurtful when seen from the kid's perspective, but I think we all do it from time to time.**

 **I know I do. And I hope that doesn't make me a horrible person.**

 **Also: Thor doesn't pick up that all this "yeah. Uh-huh. No kidding? Why don't you go play with your brother?" means "I'm not interested. Go away." Loki does. He's 'always been so perceptive' (to quote Frigga). Unfortunately, he doesn't read it the same when Thor's the one talking. He sees it differently when he'd the one directly involved. He thinks Odin's being more attentive to Thor, when, in reality, Thor's just not picking up on the social cues and keeps coming back.**

 **The Sif thing is because, out of all Thor's friends, she was the only one who I did not have a story for. I wanted to show more interaction with her. And, initially, that interaction was not going to be** _ **bad**_ **. I was going to have them get along and Loki just feel weirdly like a third wheel. Then this happened and I liked this better.**

 **In my verse, 'Shield Maid' is a well-trained defensive position, as opposed to a warrior, who would go on missions and** _ **also**_ **be defensive. In Asgard a woman being a warrior was a little disgraceful. Not mythically correct in any way, but closer to the MCU.**

 **No, I don't think it was a big deal. He's not running to his room, crying his eyes out because nobody loves him. Probably, it didn't matter and everything was normal by the next morning. He just doesn't want to deal with people right now and he wants his space. He's jealous of Sif that Thor went with her so easily, and he didn't like how much she wanted to fight with him. He's upset with the situation with his dad. He doesn't know what's going on with him. Saying 'I'm tired' is a good excuse. Plus, not being able to articulate** _ **why**_ **you're unhappy is exhausting, and easier when ignored, especially by sleeping, when you can be less aware of it.**

 **I don't know. My thoughts.**

 **In character? Thoughts? Comments? Complaints?**

 **Oh - Happy Hallowe'en ;)**


	8. Chapter 8

**I don't know, I like Loki being about 8. I think Sif's right about the same age. Kinda a while after the last few, or at least after 5 – when his magic 'comes in' – but not too long, they're still little kids. It's been a while since the last one.**

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"Loki," she sighed, "what have you done?"

"I thought I could make it grow back!" he snapped. He was coiled like a little snake on his bed, aggravated and ready to strike. 

She supposed that was in part her own influence. They shared a similar sense of humor and it was such a relief after the seriousness Odin had grown into and Thor's high-spirited ebullience. It would seem she had laughed at the boy's tricks once too often.

"Loki," she crossed her arms, "This is serious. You cut her hair."

"I hate her!"

"That's no excuse."

Curling tighter on the bed, he scowled, "It's a little bit an excuse," he muttered.

Frigga's mouth twitched and she fought to keep from laughing. "If I went around cutting off the hair of everyone I disliked –"

"I didn't say I disliked her," he muttered. "I said I hated her."

"Why would you hate her?"

He put his head against his knees, "She's mean."

"Because she hit you?" Frigga pressed, "I should hope she did after you ruined her hair."

"I thought I could make it go back!"

"And what in the Nine were you doing there while she was asleep?"

"How else would I get her to hold still?" there was a sarcastic kind of edge to his voice that was new when he spoke to her. She decided to let that go. It was a daft question anyway.

"What made you think you could reverse it?"

He sighed, "Well, I _did_ it in the first place, didn't I?" the bravado was forced and he dropped his head back on his knees.

"That's not the way it works, Loki."

"I know that _now_ ," he protested.

Then he raised his head, "And Thor could have taken my side," he muttered.

Might _that_ be what it was… She'd wondered at Loki's dislike of the girl, but Thor was quite fond of her. "He was defending his friend," she said, "and a girl beside."

He scoffed, smearing his nose on his sleeve, "Someone should let _her_ know."

"Loki,"

"I _know_ ," he sighed. "Do I have to stay in my room now?"

"Yes," she said. "Your father wants to have words with you."

He chewed nervously on the side of his lip, "I don't see why it's –"

"Loki!"

His mouth snapped shut.

"How would you have it if someone came in and cut off your hair?"

"It _grows_ _BACK_!" he threw out an exasperated hand.

"Yes," she said, trying another tactic, "But how if someone had come and cut off mine?"

The look on his face changed utterly and darkened. Then, as he looked at her, the anger when out of it. He knew what it was she got at and he laid his head back on his knees. "All right," he sighed.

"I don't know what your father will decide. But _I_ will insist that you at _least_ apologize to her."

He shot back up, "Mother!"

"You are a prince," she said, "And more than that, you are my son and you will do as I bid you."

He turned his head away, "Yes, Mother."

She watched him for a long moment. She wished that he would not make things harder on himself, but she did not know how to teach him. Finally, she bent and planted a kiss on his forehead, then, without another word, she left him to himself.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **I like the idea that – even as a kid – Loki would argue with his mom. Not like Thor did with their dad, like he was trying to assert some kind of dominance, but just that he would express himself in whatever way he felt it. I think he's always been too afraid of Odin to do that with him. At least, not pre-** _ **Avengers**_ **.**

 **I like the theory that Sif was Thor's first real "friend" that he would go out and do things with, and that Loki's terribly jealous of her, having been, more-or-less, the sole recipient of Thor's attentions up to this point. Hence the mythic hair styling. Also, he** _ **may**_ **or may not have a huge crush on her. It happens to be a theory I like.**

 **I imagine that she's living somehow in the palace at this point. Maybe a parent now works there?**

 **In the comics – where Sif is also pictured with dark hair – the color is Loki's fault. He changes the color with magic and cuts it short. Theoretically, he thought he could fix both.**

 **I also thought it was fun portraying her as a tom-boy and Loki not approving of that.**

 **I had to have him pull the "Is this** _ **really**_ **as serious as you're making it?" line somewhere.**

 **He's also defensive of his mom, which I think is cute. But who wouldn't be? Frigga's amazing. Specifically when you're in the habit of watching deleted scenes, or are familiar with her in** _ **The Dark World**_ **. She's got spunk! The renditions of all their characters are better in that movie.**

 **I love having her talk him into corners. He had to learn it somewhere.**

 **If you got anything, thoughts, comments, arguments, let me know.**

 **And thanks so much to those of you who are playing along!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Probably a little older now. 9/10, 10/11? Somewhere in there?**

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"Like this?"

"No, Thor," Odin directed his footing, changed his grip, showed him how to better the stroke, "Try it like that. Now," he straightened, casting about, "Loki,"

Loki was laying on his back on the bench at the far end of the courtyard with his arms hanging down to the ground. He looked over, "Do I have to?"

"All _proper_ princes learn swordplay," Thor whirled, his long hair swinging into his face. He shoved it back, "Don't they, Father?"

"Yes, Thor," distractedly, then, back to the younger boy, "Come here."

Giving a long sigh, Loki swung to his feet and went to his father.

Odin handed him a practice sword like the one Thor was busily swinging and stabbing in the air.

"Now, you want to hold onto it as I do…No, Loki – like your brother, see how Thor has it? No, Thor – Here. Mind yourself while I see to your brother."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"So," Frigga pulled the thread taught, "How did it go?"

"Well enough," Odin sat in the chair across from her. A light breeze ruffled the thin curtains of her windows. "Thor took to it much as I thought he would."

A smile flickered across the queen's face, "And Loki?"

Odin grimaced, "He did not."

Frigga said nothing, but she smiled. She had expected no less.

"He grasps the concepts easily enough."

"Is there aught wrong with that?" the smile she tipped up at Odin was mocking.

"He meets it as a chore," if Odin noticed her look, he ignored it. "And Thor is just the opposite. He couldn't be bothered to retain proper form if I offered him a kingdom for it."

"Well," the queen looked back to her stitchery, "Shall we try something else, then?"

"No." Odin sat straighter on the cushioned chair, "But I shall not be the one to teach them."

"Odin, you see so little of them as it is! This was supposed to be a special time you could all share together!"

"They are beyond my level of patience. And with the state of the Realm as it is now, I have little time to spare."

"The 'state of the Realm'!" she scoffed, "You've brought this Realm into a time of peace unknown in your father's rule!"

"And I intend to keep it there. Perhaps when they are at a less difficult age."

"If boys never _see_ their father," she grumbled, "much less _speak with him_ ,"

Shaking his head, Odin stood.

"I highly doubt that they will ever be at anything _but_ a 'difficult age'."

He held his hand out to her and she rose before him to meet it.

"Little in my youth did I see _my_ father," Odin kissed her bent fingers, "And I grew well enough."

"I never said _that_ …" she side-stepped his advances, moving to the window that looked out over the city. "Did you never desire more of him," she asked softly, "Never promise you would be more to our sons?"

"No."

She glanced behind to see him as he came to stand behind her and look over her shoulder.

"I hated him in my youth." He spoke softly, and when his hand rested on her shoulder she lifted hers to cover it. "His dreams were not mine. I pursued mine against his will, and his resistance."

"You never longed for any change in that?"

"It was as it had always been."

She hmmed softly.

Both were quiet for a long while, looking out over their city, when the queen spoke, "If you would have them trained in arms by the swords master, your will be done. Only do not abandon our sons as your father did you. I won't have it."

And in a rustle of fabric, she'd slipped from beneath his hands and left the room.

Odin was left watching the place where she'd vanished, wondering what it was she truly wanted of him. Shaking his head he set it aside as of no consequence.

His father had dreamed of conquest. His own Realm he'd left a wreck behind him. Odin had brought Asgard to a peace unrivaled in his father's time _or_ his grandfather's.

He would give her – and their sons – a Realm worth protecting.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Things are starting to get a little** _ **off**_ **. Loki's bored and doesn't want to do what Odin wants him to. Both boys are big enough to make real nuisances of themselves, and Odin has a mountain of responsibilities. Little kids are one thing, older ones can be another entirely.**

 **I like Frigga's little tongue-in-cheek insults.** _ **The Dark World**_ **portrayed her – in my opinion – perfectly.**

 **I think Odin meant well. He's just misguided. And he's stubborn. Frigga knows enough not to argue too much with him. She's come to the conclusion that if she wants something done differently she has to do it herself.**

 **Thoughts? Arguments? Fire at will!**


	10. Chapter 10

**About the same as last time. Angar is a name. I thought it unlikely Thor and Loki had no other friends than Sif and the Warriors Three, so I just had to pop another name in there.**

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"It _is_ passing strange," Angar said, jumping down from the top of the low wall. "So, who's for looking it over?"

Sif's hands were on her hips, "Well, I don't know. Loki might tell on us again."

They all looked at him and Loki's neck burned. It was _once_. And that _once_ had been – he thought – well deserved. Taking out Father's horse to test and see if it really _was_ fastest in the Realm was by no means a good idea. It was a dangerous plan, and if it had just been Thor, he could have convinced him of that. But bolstered by the ill judgement of his friends… Loki had felt he had no choice.

Why was it he was the _only_ one to see through to the other side of their rash plans?

"You have my word," he mumbled.

Sif snorted, "Far as _that_ goes."

Loki was better bred than to strike a girl. And he knew better after the _last_ time. But he _wanted_ to. Her hair slipped easily over her shoulders. It had yet to come close to its old length. He didn't smile, but that was only because he didn't fancy being struck by her again.

"Then let us go, my friends!" Thor cheered, "Adventure awaits!"

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

The AllFather himself met them as they returned.

Just as Loki had been beginning to think they might get away with it, and unscathed.

Young as he was, he was beginning to doubt that optimistic voice. It rarely spoke aught but lies.

"What business do you imagine yourselves to have beyond the city?"

Thor glanced back at them. Even he was nervous, "We weren't beyond the city, Father."

Loki could have bitten off his own tongue. Even _he_ knew better than to lie to their father.

"Oh?" Odin was angry. He never spoke in that tone save when he was _very_ upset. "Then what tales has Heimdal been telling me?"

Thor knew enough at that point not to answer.

"You two." Odin indicated the others who had hung back, "Get to your homes."

"Yes Sir," Sif dropped a curtsey. Angar was already gone.

"And you," Odin took Thor by his shoulder and drew him into the dim interior of the back entrance, "You have no business beyond the city. You know this!"

"You can't keep me here forever!" Thor shouted, wrenching free, "I'm nearly a man grown!"

"Oh are you?" Odin folded his arms. He towered still above both of his sons. It was a ludicrous claim, really. "Perhaps one day you shall grow to have a man's sense. I will see no more of you until then. Get to your rooms."

"But Father –"

" _Now_. And Loki,"

Loki was hovering in the doorway, afraid to come nearer, unsure where else to slink off to.

"I expected you, at _least,_ to know better."

"Yes, Father."

Odin gave a long sigh. "Get to your rooms."

"Yes, Father."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"He went to _Heimdal_?"

Rolling his eyes, Loki fell back onto his bed.

Thor never knocked, so when the doorknob had turned without warning Loki'd thrown a shoe at it. That wasn't dissuasion enough for Thor.

The elder prince stalked back and forth across the room, furious energy palpable in the air around them.

Loki lifted his hand and flicked a little spark between his fingers.

"What does he think of us, Brother? Does he consider us mere children?"

"How foolish of him," Loki muttered.

"What business does he have? Dictating our every move –"

"He _is_ our father."

Thor snorted. " _I_ am a prince of Asgard and I do as I like. _You_ can hide behind that if you want to but I have glory yet to win and all he wants of us here is to train and train and we never get to _do_ anything!"

The spark winked out and his teeth clenched. He could never really control even _that_ simple trick when he was angry. He let his arm drop.

"And I'm sick of it, Loki! You can't tell me you're not tried of it!"

"It is our place, Thor."

Thor gave a derisive breath, "Maybe it's _your_ place. _You're_ not the firstborn. _You'd_ rather hide behind your books and your tricks than win the glory a prince ought!"

Loki had straightened up on the bed.

He gripped the side of the bed. He felt dizzy.

"Get out."

"You can't even fight like a real prince!" Thor taunted.

"Get _OUT!_ "

The other shoe was on the ground beside his foot and he bent and snatched it into his hand.

"You're impossible!" Thor dodged the shoe, "Go on! Hide and skulk for the rest of your life!"

But he was going and the door slammed behind him.

Loki took the book that was beside him on the bed and he flung it. It hit the door hard and landed on the floor in a flutter of pages.

He fell backward on the bed with his hands over his face and waited.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **What is it they're exploring? I don't know. I wanted a chance to show Loki learning the necessity of that particular trick he uses in** _ **Thor**_ **, where he tells his dad where they are and what they're doing, without going himself and losing-face with the group. I also like to show Thor being feisty and Odin becoming more and more convinced that Loki is the only reason Thor's still alive. And not only that, but to show Loki thinking Thor's being stupid about their risky adventures and even more about how pissed Thor is with their dad when Odin catches and punishes them.**

 **I think that Loki gets called names a lot. By Thor and others. I don't know if they realize it bothers him. I don't know if it always does or if** _ **he**_ **even knows, really. I'm not trying to harp on the bullying or 'poor-Loki' theme. But I think that it adds to the problems later on, and I think it's in character for Thor because Thor comes off as a big 'shoot-first' kinda guy. I don't think he really means it, I think he's just mad and he'll get over it. He's just too proud to go back and apologize later, and he assumes – since Loki never says anything – that it doesn't bother him. That adds up.**

 **Thoughts? Arguments? Comments?**


	11. Chapter 11

**About 11/12, I think. Like Angar last chapter, the names are constructs rather than characters. This is the only time you'll see these kids. They're about the same age as Thor and Loki and they're mainly just there because Thor, Loki, Sif and Volstagg can't be the only kids about the place. If you're curious about Fandril and Hogan…just wait ;)**

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

His ribs _ached_. Leave aside his ribs, all of him hurt.

Loki supposed he ought to watch his tongue better. It seemed that it could get him into just as much trouble as it got him out of.

But he'd thought…

It would seem he'd over-stepped his luck one more time.

Spent, his head hung low over his folded arms on the table-top.

Vidur was still talking.

Loki had stopped hearing the words some time ago. They washed over him like the roar of a storm, but they struck all the same.

He tasted blood in the corner of his mouth.

The others stood a little ways off – had for the length of time that Vidur had been talking. In reality, it couldn't have been more than a minute or two, but it felt like hours. They itched to move. To strike again. But Vidur would have his say first.

Loki hadn't expected it.

Not from Vidur, at least. He'd thought…

His eyes stung fiercely under Vidur's tongue-lashing and the image of his arms on the table before him wavered.

He gripped his arms tighter. He couldn't. Not _now_.

 _Please_ , not now…

"Please," the whisper was hoarse in his throat and out before he could think better of it, "…stop,"

Vidur didn't hear him. Or if he did, he didn't care.

A tear slid down his face and it burned as it went. He ducked his head, praying to anything that was listening that no one would see it.

Then several things happened all at once.

A hand cuffed him on the side of his head and Loki yelped. His arm flew up. Vidur was shouting, but there was a roar from the doorway and then everyone was yelling and by the time Loki managed to blink the stars from his eyes, Thor had routed them.

He stepped swiftly back, big and blonde, sweeping the feet out from under one of the last of the attackers and from the ground the boy was stammering.

Loki's face flushed so dark it _hurt_.

Thor bent, "Stay away from my brother," he growled, "Or I'll flout the lot of you _again_." He dragged Itrek from the ground by the front of his shirt. Thor wasn't much Itrek's elder, but already Thor was strong, and most of the boys about the palace knew to fear him when he was angry. Thor's face went from rage to disgust all in a moment and he cast the other boy to the ground, "Get out of my sight."

And then there were only the two of them left. Thor turned to face him.

"Are you hurt?"

"I'm all right." Loki mumbled.

He didn't look at Thor, but he could almost hear him smile. Thor liked to fight.

Of course he did. Loki thought. If every fight ended for him like this one had ended for Thor, he'd like it too. He traced a knot in the wood by his elbow with one finger.

Thor gave a fond huff of a laugh, closing the distance and settling himself at the bench beside him. Loki could feel the heat of his body on his skin. It felt like being hunted. But, oddly, he didn't want Thor to leave.

Maybe he only wanted Thor to stay because Thor would chase them off again, should they come back. Maybe Vidur was right.

His throat ached.

"That's going to be a handsome mark," Thor said easily, leaning back with his elbows propped on the edge of the table.

Loki felt the side of his eye and he winced.

"I wondered what all the commotion was down here at this time of day," Thor continued, lazy, "What did you do this time?"

Vidur had hung back, almost like he was frightened, when Itrek and the others had come.

He'd never expressed any of that before. Loki wondered weakly how long he'd thought all that. If it had been from the beginning. A little listlessly he thought back. He had been the driving force of every interaction the two of them had had since their initial meeting. Perhaps Vidur had only been afraid to refuse a prince.

But he'd been so _sure_ …

"Thor," his voice wavered, but he didn't even _care_ anymore, "what am I?"

Bemused, Thor laughed, "What?"

Loki ignored him, gripping his arms and starring down at them, afraid to see Thor's face. "A liar? A thief? A-a cuh-coward?" he stopped his mouth with one hand. The table wavered. He leaned his forehead into his hand.

"Loki?"

"Am I no more than that?"

"No," Thor stammered, "Loki,"

"Don't _lie_ to me," his throat was raw and he threw his hand down, "I'm _sick_ of it! I'm suh-so si-sick of being _lied_ to –" he shook Thor's hand off of him and drove his face down into his arms. He hated it. Hated that he couldn't fight. Hated Itrek and Halfdan and Jormand. Hated Vidur and himself for believing that Vidur might be more than just another person who came and went. Hated the stupid tears that choked in his throat and made his ribs hurt all over again. Hated that he was _like_ this and that Thor was here and how much he wanted Thor with him.

Thor had his hand on Loki's back.

He just had to stop thinking about it. Get his breath. Shove the tears back wherever they'd come from and make them stay there. It was stupid to cry like this. Vidur had called names. It was nothing that hadn't happened before. Nor was it anything that wouldn't happen again. It was nothing.

Loki pushed himself up, gulping back his breath.

Thor was peering at him, "Are…you all right?"

Loki wanted to laugh at him, so big and blonde and _earnest_ , but he couldn't yet. He smeared away the mess of his face on the palms of his hands and his sleeve, "I'll be f-fine," he mumbled.

He didn't dare look at Thor. His face burned with shame and he still couldn't steady his breathing. He gripped his arms and turned to stare at that same knot that he hadn't even noticed before that day. His throat hurt him and he didn't want to count the bruises he'd gotten. He touched tentatively at the place where his lip had been torn, but it wasn't bleeding anymore.

"Loki," Thor sounded hesitant. And it was unlike Thor. Unlike Thor to be there. Thor turned about on the bench, straddling it so he could face Loki more directly, "Brother, look at me."

After an agonized moment of trying to work a way out of it, prodding with his tongue at the tooth that had gotten hit, trying to remind his lungs how they ought to breathe, Loki gave it up and faced him.

Thor was watching him very earnestly, "Loki," he said, "You're my brother, all right? You're _my_ brother. And don't let anyone make you think you're less." With the suddenness he was prone to, Thor put out his arms and crashed into Loki, crushing him in a hug.

Startled, Loki caught his breath.

"I – I won't," he said.

Thor let him go, "Good," he thrust his hair back from his face, embarrassed in his own turn.

He wouldn't look at him.

Loki smeared the last, startled tears from his eyes with the heel of his palm, and he watched his brother. "I love you," then, startled by his own admission, he gave a little, unsteady laugh, "I'm," he softened, "I'm glad you're my brother," he leaned over to hit Thor's shoulder with his own. He managed a smile, leaning against his brother, "But don't you dare tell anyone I said so."

Thor smiled fondly at him. Then he jerked up, "Come on, I have an idea."

"Wh –" Loki blinked, "Where are we going?"

"You'll see." Thor grinned, "Come on."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **See? Thor** _ **can**_ **be a sweety.**

 **Okay, this one goes on a similar theme as the last chapter. Again, I'm not making the argument that Loki was bullied and that's why he's bad. Read that before, it gets kinda boring after a while. I think Loki's got more fire than that. Even as a kid, I don't think he'd like being made out to be the victim and would rather fall into the role of an aggressor (He hit me and really hurt my feelings. Victim: cry, go to my room, be depressed. Aggressor: I said the worst things I could think of. Hit him. Waited and blew something up underneath him when he least expected it). Probably, there was a bit of both. But I think Loki wants to be seen as strong and fierce. I imagine he'd do what he had to to at least convince himself that he was. Then again, I was ignored throughout the entirety of** _ **my**_ **school career, so what do I know?**

 **Now that I'm** _ **officially**_ **outed as a nerd…**

 **In my head-verse, Vidur was just a kid Loki met and liked and wanted to hang out with. Maybe Vidur wanted to be friends, maybe not. I don't know that Loki does "friends" very well. Maybe Vidur got sick of hanging around with him and needed an out, or maybe he was bullied into it. Maybe Vidur's as much a victim in this scene as Loki. I don't know. Again, it was beside the point. The point being that Loki is not good at social things, he's having the kind of self-worth issues most of us have at that age and although Thor might say pretty much the same things to Loki, nobody else is allowed to. At the end of the day, he loves his little brother and wants to protect him. And Loki's not sure how much he wants that protection, and how much he wants to know he can stand on his own feet.**

 **Thoughts? Comments? You know the drill ;)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay, sorry, forgot. Halfdan's back. But he's still just a name.**

 **About 12/13 or so this time.**

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

Halfdan was fine. The blast of Loki's magic had driven his own natural energies into a place of hibernation not unlike that of the Odinsleep.

Frigga didn't think she'd ever have the story quite right. There had been some fight that Loki had participated in – which was odd in itself. Loki would fight Thor any day, but with others he was more shy. She knew he and Thor had had a more spectacular than usual disagreement that morning, she didn't know if that was why. Whatever had happened, he had grown angry enough during the fight that the _seithr_ at his command had burst out of him and flung the older boy against a far wall.

The blast had frightened the other children. She imagined them, starting back, starring at their prince as he picked himself up off of the ground, smearing the blood off of his pale face. When Halfdan had not also immediately risen, their alarm had grown real.

They'd worked themselves into quite a frenzy by the time anyone had come to make sense of the mess. She remembered the naked fear on Loki's face – even before all the others – under the blood of the fight and the way he'd looked at his hands.

Thor hadn't been there at the time, and she'd seen how he'd laughed, clapping Loki on the back, demanding why Loki hadn't told him the story himself and how the younger boy had made light of it.

In a large way it was her own fault. She'd been much older when her own magic had grown strong. She hadn't thought to monitor Loki's so closely.

The test was necessary. And she trusted no one else to give it.

Loki was waiting for her in the courtyard when she arrived.

"You came early," she said.

He ignored that. "Do we _have_ to do this?"

Frigga suppressed a sigh. "Yes, we do," she said.

The test was usually only applied to adults who had had centuries more training than Loki had. Because he was so young, she thought it appropriate that a parent administer the test. Since Odin's magic was learned rather than innate, his would work differently. That left her to do it. And she was glad of that. She'd been growing distant from her boys, and that was a thing she had never desired. And she was not so much a hypocrite that she could chide Odin for his neglecting attitude towards their sons and not feel some guilt over it herself.

Her boys had pushed her away – not unkindly – merely desiring the company of other children over hers, and that was well enough. But if their father was not going to come to direct that as she felt he _should_ , then that left only her.

And she was _glad_.

But Loki was not the sweet, snuggling thing he'd been as a little child.

She supposed she ought to have expected that.

It was a simple thing, this test. Using magic, she would push him, and he would retaliate to defend himself. That was all. It was a test – mainly of the mind – intended to test his limits and determine what level of control he'd managed.

"Come on, get up," she coaxed and, laconically, Loki rose. He came nearer her.

She began slowly and he batted her off. Rolling his eyes, he told her it was stupid. Couldn't she just teach him how to use it to fight properly?

She only threw him a laughing kind of look and kept on.

It was exhilarating, to start so slowly and build as the test demanded. It had been too long since she had used her skill and she was transported to the days of her maidenhood and her own training to the point that it came as rather a dizzy shock to her when Loki shouted and she stopped.

"Stop!" he panted. "I…" he wouldn't look at her, "I can't…"

"You can't go farther?" she asked.

"I just can't." He snapped. He turned away from her. The glow was dying from his hands and he gripped his arms.

Puzzled, Frigga crossed the space between them and crouched down to see her boy. He'd only stopped his scoffing moments before she hadn't thought…

"Loki?"

"I'm afraid," he managed lowly, "that I'll hurt you."

"No," she touched his shoulders, remembering almost like she hadn't known it, how young he was, "Sweetheart,"

"Yes I _could!"_ he shook her off, "I almost _killed_ Halfdan! I didn't even know it until I'd hurt him and I…" the anger was going all out of him, "I _can't_." His voice hitched and he turned sharply away.

Frigga rose from the place he'd left her. She put a hand on his shoulder.

"Halfdan," she said, "Isn't your mother. But I think that that's enough for one day. We'll try again tomorrow."

A long silence, then, "Do we _have_ to?"

"Yes."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

The next day he was there when she arrived. Pacing nervously back and forth along the far wall. He watched her uneasily as she came, his face very carefully blank.

"Come here,"

"What are we doing today?" His tone was too light.

She smiled at him and indicated a place, "Sit down,"

Confusion. Good. "On the ground?"

"Yes," she sat down herself, crossing her legs and arranging her skirts, making her back very straight, "Put your back against mine."

There was a long pause, then, "All right."

He was afraid. He did not trust that she would never ask too much of him, and he did not trust himself. All sentient things feared what they did not understand. It was a new and strange thing that he had been thrust into, and, as distant as she had felt herself from him, he had to feel it the more. It was up to her.

"What now?"

Her mouth tugged up on one side, "Relax."

"I am."

"Don't lie to me," she said. "Lean your back against mine and close your eyes."

"What are we doing?"

"I want you to relax," she said calmly, "and think about nothing but breathing. Your breathing and mine. Nothing more."

She felt Loki stiffen behind her, "Mother, I don't understand how this is supposed to help with anything."

"Understanding is secondary," she told him, "And you will remain where you are until I am satisfied that you've completed the exercise."

He gave an aggravated huff of breath, but he was wise enough not to argue further.

She felt him lean against her, stiff, aggravated. But he couldn't keep that up for long, and she knew it.

She would wear him down eventually.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

The next day he made some show of rolling his eyes and asking if they could do something else, but he argued little. And the third day when they were through he dropped to his kness in front of her with his eyes shining.

"It was like we were _one thing_ , Mother! I _felt_ your heart in _my_ chest!" excitement brought a smile to his face and he looked more the boy she'd known, "How did you do that?"

"It was not I alone," she smiled, "Come back tomorrow."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

Frigga kept on her training with Loki as they had been, teaching him movement and simple exercises of balance, first where his movement would support her, so he would know that she found him a person worth her trust, then, what she guessed would be harder for him, where she would support him, and he would have to learn to trust her.

Afraid to scare him off and lose what ground she'd gained, she continued slowly and Loki responded beautifully. Reluctantly, but gradually better and better, more and more the open, laughing child she'd known and less and less the reclusive boy he'd become. Sometimes she would come into her rooms only to find Loki already there, reading or waiting excitedly to tell her some thing as he had as a little boy and she was happy beyond measure.

Encouraged by her success with Loki, she attempted a like transformation with Thor. But Thor wouldn't have it. He was busy and laughing and fighting and crashing all about the palace, even as he had been as a child those long nights when nothing she did could still him. More often than not when summoned he was nowhere to be found. Loud and raucous as he was, he at least was happy. He did not feel the lack as his brother did, as she herself so often did. He had time to still as he grew older. So Frigga let him be. She planned instead what next move she would make with her younger son.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Some sort of bullying again? Maybe. As usual for this particular fic, I didn't give the lead up all that much thought.**

 **The test – as with all the magic-stuff earlier, is my invention. I wanted to show how Frigga might have gotten to teach him magic. Mainly just a cute image, and a head-cannon of the actors that was embraced in the deleted scenes from** _ **The Dark World**_ **. The** _ **way**_ **it happens is all mine. Not sure how they envisioned his training as beginning.**

 **Mainly, this is to show Loki and his mom interacting. Also, to touch on where Thor is. I think it's safe to say he didn't want a lot of contact with either parent. He wants to be his own boss and be left the hell alone about it. While Loki and Frigga seem like they were really close in the films, it seems like Thor hadn't got a real connection with much of anybody. Might also add to Loki's feelings of inadequacy. Odin doesn't seem to need anybody, Thor doesn't need anybody. Why should Loki need people? Not a lot of controversy besides that, I guess.**

 **Also, keep in mind that this is their** _ **mom's**_ **point of view. She sees things a little differently, and there's a lot about her boys that she probably is not aware of.**

 **Break some eggs ;)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Sort of a 'Part 2' to chapter 12. I think they're near the same ages. We'll probably be hanging out here in the 12-14 range for a while. Still** _ **kids**_ **, but old enough to kinda** _ **think**_ **they're adults while still behaving for the most part like kids.**

 **Cute age. Obnoxious age (especially in girls – my cousin is 13 and insufferable the majority of the time), but a** _ **really**_ **cute age when you're far enough away from all the hormones.**

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

Frigga went to watch the boys in their training. Upon the closing of the session, she went to Loki and put a hand on his shoulder. He was panting for breath and had been badly beaten. The sword was unnatural in his hands.

"It was a fair try," she told him.

His face was flushed and he shrugged.

Watching what little of his face she could see, she couldn't tell if the failure troubled him. Knowing what a proud, stubborn, competitive thing could be, she thought that it must, even if he chose not to show it.

Coming to a sudden conclusion, she gave his shoulder a quick pat.

"It's not for you," she said.

The face he turned to her was bewildered, "What?"

"This," she gestured with her hand to the courtyard where they trained. "This is not for you. It goes against your instincts, to fight as he tells you."

"No," he dropped his eyes, shook his young head, "I'm not very good, is all. If I practice more –"

Giving an aggravated sigh Frigga swung a hand for him and he ducked under the blow, spinning instinctively about and backpedaling from her reach. He watched her with his eyes wide and confused.

"That," Frigga said, perhaps more smugly than she'd meant it, "was not the response of a sword fighter. A sword would meet the blow, shed its weight and strike again. A swordfighter relies on the strength of his arms, rather than the speed of his feet. And you are no swordfighter."

"What am I supposed to do about that?" he demanded hotly, "It's not as though I have a choice."

"You always have a choice, my son." Frigga told him. "I would train you as I have been trained. With knife and speed and sleight of hand. But if you would rather continue as you are, you have my leave. The choice is yours."

The look on his face cooled, then wavered. "A true warrior doesn't fight like that," he protested uncertainly, "A true warrior should be ready to meet his opponent head-to-head without reliance on trickery."

"So the tale goes," she answered. "And many a true warrior lies slain in those beliefs when a simple trick might have brought him home. Home to wife. Mother. Child. If you would take my offer, meet me tomorrow as we have been, and bring your knives."

The next day he came a little after her, uncertainly, with the case he used to carry his knives uncertainly under one arm.

"I don't have to stop training with the others," he asked, "do I?" his face too serious for his age.

Frigga smiled fondly at him, "No, not if it is as you desire. Though you may have to choose one at some point to be your primary focus."

"Fa-" he shut his mouth and looked away, a slight flush creeping up the pale skin of his neck, "Father will not be angry, will he?" he asked finally, voice barely more than a whisper.

She felt herself flush with a quick anger that Odin had so worked things that their boy could ask such a thing of her. "That I teach you how best to preserve your life? No. He will not be angry at that."

He glanced at her, catching the heat in her words, wondering at it, though he said nothing.

He looked away again, fiddling absently with the box, "It's only that I would be a great warrior. I would be…" his face flushed deeper, "I would have Father's approval – as Thor does – and I don't see how I can like this. I want to be like Thor. I…" The words came all in a rush and he stopped, face flaming with his eyes firmly on the backs of his own hands. He shrugged, "It's stupid," he muttered.

"The desire is not," she said, "Though the response undoubtedly is."

He blinked startledly at her.

"You've miscalculated." She said, "You've seen that Thor has you father's approval, and you decided that that means you must do as Thor does. But you aren't like Thor. You, my son," he'd dropped his eyes down again and she took his narrow chin between her thumb and bent forefinger and tipped his chin back, "must walk another road."

He turned his head, "All right."

"You've also made another miscalculation," a black lock of hair had slipped into his face and she raked it gently back with her fingertips, softening, "you _see_ your father's approval of Thor. Thus you assume you hold no place with him."

He swallowed a little thickly and looked at the ground. He did not say anything.

"But you and I both know better than that, Loki." She said, "We both know – better than most in this our Realm – how little faith ought to be placed on what is seen."

His mouth tipped wryly, "It would be easier," he said.

"Aye, that it would," she drew a little back, "But it is not his way. Not even with me."

"But you're –" he stammered.

"His queen?" she smiled and the expression tasted bitter, "Yes. But it is not his way. And there is precious little in the Nine that can shake a man from his way."

"Well," Loki shrugged. His eyes snapped, above the crooked beginnings of a smile, "what's magic for?"

She took his face between her hands and kissed his brow.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

In the days following her own training ran over her and she remembered the weapon's dances done with long hunting knives, where one false step or misgiving would mean death to the dancers. She remembered the way it had felt to move through them beside her sisters, and the way her body and mind had responded, poised and controlled to the point that her magic came easily and powerfully when – and only when – she desired it.

"First we will begin as we have been, without knives,"

As she moved he lost his balance and tumbled to one knee. But instead of the flush of embarrassment she'd come to expect, he laughed, picked himself up, and began again.

She felt a quick rush of pride. He would do well.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Really just a continuation of the last chapter. Loki and Frigga fight very similarly in** _ **The Dark World**_ **. Not sure if it's cannon that she trained him, or just a head-cannon belonging to the vast majority of fans.**

 **While I did** _ **some**_ **research into the Marvel base on Odin, I didn't find much/any for Frigga. And very little of what I** _ **did**_ **find was anything I liked or felt lined up with the story in the movies. I made her history up myself. In my head-cannon, she's the second or third daughter of some North-Western Vanir chieftain whom Odin met at some time while he was sneaking around under disguise to avoid his father. I picture her people as being very Celtic, as opposed to the Asiatic-feel for the realm that they've shown in the movies. For lack of imagination I say** _ **those**_ **Vanir are in the South-East. They'll come in later.**

 **And while it's not a** _ **good**_ **idea, as far as parenting-advice goes, to tell your kid that you think their dad is being a dick, it's understandable. Frigga loves Odin, but she's pretty frustrated, and she wants Loki to know he's not alone.**

 **Thoughts? Comments? Arguments? Ideas? Anything goes!**


	14. Chapter 14

**About the same ages. 12/13. Volstagg would be about 17 or so.**

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

Propped on his elbows in the great open window, Loki watched the rapidly gathering storm.

He'd always liked storms, with the rushing wind and the slashing cold of the rain. He loved to lean out of the great windows and watch for the next gash of light to cut against the black sky.

Storms were a rare thing in Asgard. Or they had been.

Lacking the innate magic of Loki and their mother, Thor also lacked the patience to learn as Odin had, but, as it turned out, he was not devoid of their family's seeming 'gift'. They'd discovered only a few months ago that, when excited, Thor could summon storms.

It was a new thing, only having come gradually out of its dormant state about a year ago.

Loki thought it was magnificent.

And though he _had_ pushed Thor to it twice – once to see if it was true, and the second time just because it was fun – _this_ time, it was not his fault. It was Sif's.

Thor was so used to his friends going along with him on every one of his hair-brained plans that when Sif refused, he'd been shocked. To tell the truth, Loki had been also. He'd grown accustomed to being the only one to question Thor's plans. To have Sif making the argument for him for once was pleasant. But she'd been odd the past few months anyway. He didn't know what to make of it.

Either way, the rising storm was a beautiful thing to watch.

Sif had her hands on her hips and Thor shouted back at her, eyes flashing.

The wind cut in through the window, snatching Loki's breath out of his throat and he laughed.

Lightning split the sky.

He wasn't listening to the fight behind him, only the storm out the window which was beginning to make quite a noise, but even so, he heard the argument waver. Someone was gaining ground.

Abruptly, a door slammed and Loki turned to see Sif blinking startledly at the far doorway and Volstagg laughing in surprise in the corner where he'd deposited himself.

"What happened?"

"I guess I won," she laughed. "He just got fed up and left. Well," she shrugged, turning to include Volstagg, "What should we do instead?"

It wasn't like Thor to give up like that. Loki frowned. Come to think of it, that last time, Thor had left equally fast, but Loki had been too angry to think of it at the time.

Without saying anything, he got up and went after his brother.

The door clicked shut behind him and Sif spun. Throwing her hands up she turned back to Volstagg, "Well, what do _you_ want to do?"

"I think I'll just unexpectedly excuse myself," he got up, "If you'll excuse me,"

"Oh no you don't!" Sif laughed.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

Thor had stormed out into one of the palace gardens. He shouted at the sky, slashing at the driving rain with his arms as though he might push it away. As if every move he made wasn't making it worse.

Seeing that he had no plans to move beyond the garden itself, Loki stayed where he was dry under the roofed entryway and leaned against the pillar to his left.

Lightning slashed down like the forked tongue of a drake but a thousand times faster and Thor flung around with his head down and the rain running out of his hair. He came up the gravel path and three of the steps before he realized Loki was there, a bare two or three paces before him.

His brow darkened. He growled, "Get out of my way."

Loki, who knew as well as Thor that he wasn't _in_ Thor's way, nevertheless took an obliging step to the side so he was standing with his back to the pillar instead. It occurred to him that he was beginning to catch Thor up in height.

Glowering, Thor dropped down onto the top step. "I'm not in any mood for your games, Brother. Amuse yourself elsewhere."

But there was something in Thor's face that intrigued him, and he was more curious than frightened, so he stayed where he was.

Giving an aggravated sigh, Thor dropped his face into his hands.

Then it dawned on him. Thor was afraid. _Thor_ was _afraid_ of his own storms.

A laugh rose up in his chest but died by the corner of his mouth. He remembered how it had been when his own magic came in. And though this was by no means the same, it wasn't _so_ different. Seeing the way Thor hunched his shoulders as he sat with the rain running out of his hair, Loki's heart did something decidedly peculiar in his chest. And without any further consultation on his part, he went out onto the step and sat down a little ways from his brother.

Loki's mouth was tipped at an angle that Thor couldn't decipher and that nettled him.

"What are you laughing at?" he demanded.

"Not laughing," Loki shrugged, "Just a bit…well," he shrugged, "concerned, actually."

Thor drew back in disgust, "I need none of your concern, Brother! I am –"

"Not for you," Loki raised a stilling hand. He gave a breath of a laugh, "For Sif. It's not every day one wins an argument with the great Thor. I'm not certain yet the shock won't do her harm."

Thor glowered at the puddles gathering in the gravel, "It didn't matter anyway."

"Be that as it may," Loki shrugged easily.

"She'll get over it."

"She'll have to."

Thor shot an accusing look at him, but Loki wasn't looking at him at all. He was watching the rain drip off the roof far over their heads. Something about his mouth and the look of his eyes made Thor think he knew. Knew all of it. How jealous he'd been of Loki's magic. Resentful of the easy way he spoke to their mother, reading her as he read everyone else and as Thor never could. In control of a vast sea of powers that he drew flippantly out as tricks and amusements that Thor could never touch.

Most in Asgard could access some amount of magic, even if it was only a glow between their hands. It had seemed to him that he had been singly chosen as the only one without. And that had seemed horribly unfair. To be the crown prince, and to have none of it.

And now he had it. He had something no one else did. He was Lord of the Storm.

And it scared him.

He barely managed to admit it to himself. He could bluster and push and shout and fight, but what it came down to was that he was afraid of his own gift. The force and power of the storm was so huge and relentless and he had brought it. It would be easier if he could control it, but there was no one who could do as he could. Loki at least had their mother. There was no one he could go to to show him how to wield the storm, and no one he could ask. He was the Golden Prince of Asgard. Heir to the throne of the AllFather himself. He could show no weakness.

His hands opened and closed by his sides and the rain ran cold out of his hair and down the back of his neck.

It was at his tongue to say it. All of it. And it made him feel wretched and small, to bare that much of himself before anyone. The fact that Loki had obviously already figured it out on his own didn't make it any easier. But Loki spoke before he could manage to do more than open his mouth.

"The storm's dying down now, look."

It was true, the sky was paling to grey, the rain coming only in thin fits. The sun cut through in a straight golden beam onto the ground.

"Look!"

Thor followed his finger and saw the glowing arch of a bow in the sky.

"Did you know," Loki laughed, "In Midgard, back when we were little and they still worshipped us, they thought that rainbows were the bridges we used to come down to them?"

He hadn't heard that before. "Like the Bifrost?"

Loki nodded. His eyes laughed and Thor smiled. He put out an arm across Loki's shoulders and tugged him close.

Loki jumped back, "Thor! You're wet!"

Thor laughed, "Oh it's _wet_ you don't like?" He jumped down onto the ground, cupping water in his hands.

"Thor, don't you dare –"

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"Mother, may I speak with you a moment?"

She glanced up and laughed before she could stop herself, "Yes, of course, Loki."

"Alone?"

"All right," she nodded at her ladies who gathered their things and vanished, chattering softly amongst themselves. She folded her hands in her lap, biting back a laugh at his bedraggled appearance. It wasn't like Loki to be such a mess. "What have you gotten into this time?"

He gave a snorting kind of laugh and swiped a hand across his forehead to clear the dirty water running from his hairline, "Guess," he smirked.

The door clicked and he glanced back at it as though to be sure. And when he spoke again, his voice was softer, "Mother," he said, "I think the storms frighten him."

"Who?" she shook her head, "Loki, what are you talking about?"

"Thor," he said. "I think he's afraid of them."

"Ah," she stood and began moving about the table, laying the things in their baskets, "This was one of his, then?"

"Yes." Loki was laughing and she gave him a reproachful look. He raised his hands, "But it wasn't me this time," he grinned, "It was Sif."

"Did he tell you?"

He snorted, "No. I just think so."

It would not be out of place, she considered. Perhaps, she thought – a touch wryly – his fear might help him learn to control that temper.

"And you thought I might be able to help him?"

"You helped me with my magic."

"Yes, but Thor's storms are different. And I _would_ rather he come to me himself, thought it was kind of you to look out for him."

Loki's mouth tipped almost in a grimace and he shrugged. "How is it different?" he asked.

"His power will come under control naturally as he grows. It is unlikely to do much harm without something to channel it. Yours and mine work the other way round. Without training, the instances would only worsen."

"It _can_ be channeled, though?"

"Mainly by the control of one's temper."

He laughed, "But through other means?"

She thought. Her mind flicked to the great hammer, Mjolnir, in the Vault below. "It might."

"Might that help him until he can control it himself?"

She considered her son very levelly for a long moment. "It might." She finally allowed. "I will speak to your father."

"Good." He nodded his head once, sharply. He started to leave, then turned back, "Don't tell Thor I said anything."

She did laugh at that, "Your secret is safe with me."

"Good," he grinned, "Thank you, Mother."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

She raised a hand and tapped lightly at the doorframe.

Odin glanced up, "Frigga," he said.

"I crave audience with the AllFather, should he have leisure."

"For my queen?" he pushed the papers back on his desk, "Leisure will always be made."

Frigga smiled. She knew how far that statement went and the smile had a twist of bitterness to it. It was not his doing, she told herself. He did not know what it was he did to her, to their sons. She knew it and she held to it. He was King. He was AllFather. He had the shadow of his own father that he tried to outrun – all without knowing it! – to this very day.

"It's about Thor," she said, trailing her hand along the smooth, wooden edge of the desktop.

Odin's face darkened, "What is it the fool boy has done now? Was this storm one of his?"

"It's not like that," she protested.

"Well?" Odin pressed, "What has he done?"

"The storms are getting worse."

Odin scoffed, "Perhaps they will teach him the consequences of his temper."

She wanted to snap that _perhaps_ when Thor was sufficiently grown and sufficiently incensed, he was liable to destroy half the city. And perhaps _that_ would teach _him_ the consequences of his negligence. But she did not. She felt her cheeks color. Her lips pressed thin.

"There are things which might aid him," she said carefully after a moment, "not only in his control, but also in his training."

"What is it you are thinking of, my queen?"

"We had intended Mjolnir to be his from his birth. He is showing readiness for it."

"No." Odin shook his head. "He is showing the rash arrogance and temper of a boy. Mjolnir is a tool fit only for a man. I have been watching him, Frigga. He is much improved, but he is not yet worthy."

Frigga's bit her tongue. She watched her hand, splayed and pressed against the smooth wood that heated against her palm. The smooth finish fogged around her fingers.

"And what of Loki?" she asked, suddenly.

Odin frowned, "What of him?"

"Do you look after his progress?"

"He trains with you." He said, "What hands better to direct him? I recall what a fearsome shield maid I brought back my bride from her home-halls."

"It would not be remiss of you to let him know," she said, "And Thor too. They need a father in their lives who is more to them than king."

He shook his head, "Frigga –"

"What happened to the father you were when they were young?" she interrupted him, "The father who would lead them about the palace, telling them stories of other Realms?"

"They were children,"

"And they are children yet, Odin."

"No," he said, "They are not. Their world is not mine. And mine is not yet theirs. Let them join a man's world when they are men grown."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Not actually sure what the story is about Thor's abilities with storms, and if Mjolnir is the** _ **cause**_ **of them. I like this way better. And the Marvel Cinematic Universe has made it decidedly unclear. From how it's been** _ **portrayed**_ **, it looks like it had to do with strong emotion – which, as far as I'm concerned – makes it the same kind of in-born magic, like Loki has. BIG-ASS storms happen, both in** _ **Thor**_ **with Mjolnir out of Thor's possession (when he can't lift it), and in** _ **The Dark World**_ **,** _ **with**_ **Mjolnir (when he first sees Jane). Marvel does not do me any favors.**

 **Either way. I liked the similarity between Thor's outbursts leading to storms, and Loki's outbursts causing some kind of damage.**

 **What would be really neat is to have Loki's magic 'waking up' cause some sort of poltergeist-like situation in the palace. That would be awesome. Someone other than me should write that. Hell…maybe** _ **I**_ **should write that…**

 **Back to** _ **this**_ **story.**

 **This was a fun chapter because I felt I covered a lot of ground. The storm thing, the brother's interacting and being sweet to one another,** _ **Thor**_ **being insecure and certain that 'Loki's smart. I don't have to tell him anything 'cause he already knows,' Loki only knowing a very small bit of what Thor assumes he** _ **must**_ **know, Loki being his fairy-godmother – of a sort – (in the mythology, he** _ **was**_ **a deciding figure in Mjolnir's forging. Nothing like this thought. It was so Thor wouldn't kill him after he cut of Sif's hair. Sif and Thor were married then.) And more Odin/Frigga arguing about the kids.**

 **Arguments? Thoughts? Comments? Questions?**


	15. Chapter 15

**Same as last time**

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"Your mother tells me you've made great leaps in your studies under her guidance."

It was one of those rare times where Odin found himself alone with his younger son. It was months since Frigga had first brought it to his attention. He had lacked opportunity. It was a rare day that he saw either of his sons for more than a bare moment of time, far less a day that they might have time to speak. Frigga did not understand either the requirements of his place or the movements of a boy's heart. She was many things, his fair queen, but there were things beyond her understanding. Nurturing was a thing gotten from a mother. Strength was taught by a father. And how better to teach strength than to teach a boy to stand on his feet, relying on none for approval.

That his boys disagreed with him about any number of things was nothing to him. It was good, he thought, that Thor felt impelled to argue. It showed daring. But that they should carry their grumblings into action was not acceptable. He was not like his father, would not punish for divergence of opinion, but there _were_ lines that were not to be crossed. Eventually, he hoped, they would learn that.

Thor was on the field before them, showing masterful handling of his horse, along with several others of his companions.

Odin didn't notice, often, how quiet Loki was. Thor would chatter excitedly about whatever new thing had caught his interest, his thoughts spilling bright and opinionated until Odin realized that he'd stopped listening. It was only in these rare moments when they were alone that Odin realize how little conversation the younger boy made. He was never certain what he ought to speak of with Loki.

He, AllFather, at a loss for words with a youth. Perhaps that was part of why conversation was attempted so rarely.

Loki wouldn't look at him. He sat with his hands under his knees, alternately staring at the ground and watching the figures on the field. "I feel I've improved greatly," he said finally.

"Do you still keep up your training with Gunthorm?"

"No – well," he stammered, "I try, but I'm usually too busy, what with _all_ the other things –"

"It is well," Odin cut him off, "So long as you study."

There was a shout from the field and they watched. One of the boys had slipped, but he recovered nicely and there was no harm done.

"So," Odin began again, "you prefer knife to sword."

"I can do both if you would have me, Father,"

"No," he repeated, "It is well."

Loki didn't say anything.

"A choice with risks," Odin commented, "In battle with a knife one is against the body of the enemy, where the reach is greater with a sword. But I think Thor will not be a swordsman either. Your mother suggested we grant Thor the hammer Mjolnir as a way to channel his power."

The boy's eyes lit, but clouded again almost instantly. His voice was tightly controlled, "Would that work?"

"It may."

Loki had always been a nervous child. It was a natural thing for a boy to be nervous about his father. Odin had thought perhaps the boy would grow out of it by this time. But, he supposed, there was time still for all that.

"And it would prove a great weapon beside." Odin nodded, "A great responsibility," he looked at the younger boy, "What do you think?"

"I?" Loki blinked, "I don't know,"

"If you were in my place, what would you do?"

"I –" he paused. His pale face flushed and he watched the powerful figures on their horses. "Thor is reckless," he said slowly, after a long moment, voice barely more than a whisper, "but he is brave and he has a good heart," he cleared his throat, sitting up straighter, "I would give him the chance."

"Would you?" He knew how often the boys were at odds. The decision was not one he had anticipated.

Loki glanced up uncertainly, "Should I not?"

Odin regarded him. Loki showed judgement. Akin to Frigga, but without her vehemence and her feminine certainty. Judgement that might very well prove the deciding factor…

Uncertain where to look the flush spread deeper on the boy's face, "What?"

Odin gave a free gesture with his hand, "I merely give your answer consideration."

Loki kicked one foot and watched it.

Odin followed the movements of the horses and the shining, strong forms of his elder son and his friends in the field. Perhaps they had a point, this strange, young son of his and his fiery wife. Perhaps…

"Ah," he said, "I had nearly forgotten. I found this when last I was in Vanaheim, and I had intended to give it to you."

He pulled the thing from its place in his pocket and held it out, closed in his fist.

Uncertainly, Loki held an opened palm up and Odin let it drop. "It's –"

"I know what it is."

His voice vibrated with some inner fire.

Loki took the charm carefully on its broken bit of chain and held it up to better see it.

A pale green disk, no bigger around than the pad of Odin's thumb, and bound about with a twist of silver wire. Once, it had glowed as with a light within, but now, the light had died beyond rekindling.

Odin began, "It's broken –"

"I know," he interrupted.

Loki looked up at him then, and his eyes shone with naked excitement.

It had been a charm, worn for protection while the life yet was in it, kindled by the Aquarian Smiths, deep within the midst of the water-bound mountains in the South-Eastern islands of Vanaheim. Useless, now that it was broken, it had been cast aside by its wearer.

Odon watched the figures on the field.

"They were astonished that I could want such a thing when I plucked it up from the ground I discovered it on," he explained. The face on the Van emissary had been comical as Odin stooped, gathered the thin in his hand and held it up, asking if he might take it with him. "But I knew that it would only be cast aside and I thought you would like to see one, even be it defective."

"Thank you, Father."

A clatter of hooves and Thor leapt down before them, flushed and breathing hard holding the reigns of his horse.

"How was I, Father?"

"You do well, my son," Odin gripped the younger boy's shoulder. His heart burned with pride in both of them. "Stable your horse and we will get on."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Father/Son time. This one started with an episode from my own life that I thought was applicable. I have a bit of a villain complex (surprise) and my dad never liked it. One day he came home from work with an 'I heart the Dark Side' button he'd seen in the dirt by the curb where he'd parked. He gave it to me and told me it'd made him think of me. It felt like he'd accepted that part of who I am.**

 **Maybe he has, and maybe he hasn't. He whines about it less now.**

 **I mean, it's** _ **been**_ **almost a decade.**

 **I still have the half-squashed, part-way rusted button in my room.**

 **I don't actually know if that's sad, or sweet.**

 _ **Anyways**_ **, I saw it as I was plotting this/cleaning the one day, and I thought it was applicable. Then Odin decided he wanted to test Loki's judgement and see what** _ **he**_ **thought about the Thor situation in his own words. I think Odin has doubts about Frigga's judgement. Perhaps because Frigga is a woman? I'm okay with him being sexist. Not sure if that's the whole thing, or if maybe he's afraid he'll be swayed by her just because he loves her and he wants to be balanced – some kind of over-compensation? I don't know.**

 **I like how Loki snaps at his mom, but gets all cute and shy when he's with his dad.** _ **I**_ **felt it was in character.**

 **Oh. The pendant-thing is something I made up. It came – in my head-cannon – from some kind of Atlantis place.**

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **On an unrelated note – I just saw** _ **Dr Strange**_ **and I'm. Freaking. Out.**

 **SEE IT**


	16. Chapter 16

**About the same**

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"LOKI!"

"What do you want _now_?" Loki complained, "I'm _working_."

Thor's hand crashed down from nowhere and slammed into the side of his head and the ground leapt up under him. The next thing he knew, his hand was on the side of his head and he was sprawled on the floor with one foot still on his seat.

"It's not funny, Loki!" Thor shouted.

"How do _you_ know?" he flashed, blinking hard to see through the stars.

He'd hidden a snake in Thor's room the evening before. A harmless little garden-creature. Not that Thor would know the difference.

Thor didn't _like_ snakes.

Loki did.

"It's _not_ funny!"

"So?" he snapped, "Get someone to get it out of your room!"

He'd thought it would be funny. He hadn't expected Thor to be this angry.

"What's the _matter_ with you?" Thor came around the chair and Loki scrabbled back. "So it's true, then? You really are no more than a lying, sneaking little coward?"

"At least I'm not an idiot," Loki dodged the cup Thor flung at him, "Afraid of a little _garden snake_!"

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

When Thor saw the blood between the fingers of the hand that had flown to Loki's face, all the anger went out of his eyes.

He rocked back on his heels and stood, all in one fluid motion.

Loki pushed himself half-up, afraid, almost, to move his hand and see the blood. It was only a nose-bleed.

Without a word, Thor took a cloth he'd seen on the table and poured water on it. Then he tossed it. It landed next to Loki on the floor.

Loki didn't move.

"No more snakes." Thor said. Then he gestured to the cloth, "Clean yourself up and go back to your work."

Then he was gone, and there was nothing else to be done. Loki straightened himself out as best he could and went back to his work.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **This one is in here because I wanted to write something where Loki was being a bit of an ass. I thought he was being too cute, and while I love him, I love him mischievous and as a pain in the ass.**

 **And he** _ **is**_ **– at least – an antihero. If not a villain. (Jury's out.)**

 **I also** _ **loved**_ **earwigs (creepy little bugs) – would pick them up and carry them around in my hand –** _ **only**_ **because my sister was afraid of them. Still do, actually. Heh.**

 **From the other side, I also wanted to show Thor being justly angry with Loki, if over-zealous. And I do not intend to paint him as beating the shit out of Loki here. He knocked him down, probably pushed him down, straddled him and hit him hard enough to give him a nose-bleed. Too many fics show Thor being an un-witting bully and Loki a victim. I wanted a poster-chapter to wave around if I was accused of that.**

 **And I don't know if Thor's afraid of snakes in the comics or movies or mythology or anything. I know the prophesies (of Ragnarok) in the mythology say that he'll be killed by the Midgard Serpent (incidentally, Loki's son). So, I liked the idea. And more than that, I liked Loki exploiting it.**

 **Tomorrow things get interesting!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Maybe a little older. Loki might be about 13/14 in this one. Old enough to still be like a kid around his mom and ask a billion questions.**

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"So Father was only King when you wed him?"

"Yes," Frigga rested on her heels, surveying the patch of flowers before her. "He only became AllFather upon Bor's death, and that wasn't until after you were born."

Loki flicked a page in the book he held, "I have no memory of him."

"You wouldn't," she bent to her work, "He was away at war in Jotunheim when you were born, and was slain before he returned home. He fell in a trap laid by a Jotun sorcerer and was turned to snow before your father's eyes." She remembered that time, and the uproar of Odin's ascension. Remembered the distraction that had gradually claimed her lord and husband to the point that she barely knew him. "He swore he could hear his voice every time it snowed for decades afterward."

She heard Loki shift on the bench behind her, shutting the book, "Was he different when you knew him?" he asked, "I mean, different than he is in the books."

Frigga brushed a stray hair from her forehead, tucked it behind her ear, "You'd have to ask your father, Loki. I did not see much of him." She recalled those days that had been so difficult in their duration, "He did not approve of me."

"Of _you_?"

She laughed, "No," she said, "He didn't. And don't be so surprised. I was a foreigner, met and wedded by his son against his will. It would be almost like," a thought occurred to her and she tested it carefully, "Like Thor vanishing away to Jotunheim without warning and coming home with a Jotun girl."

"Mother!"

She rested back on her heels, laughing at his consternation, "It's not so different as that," she protested. An especially tall weed caught her attention and she leaned forward to pull it. "I am not so young that I myself do not recall the time when Vanaheim was brought under Asgard's dominions. And while my people did not resist long the over lordship of Asgard, we _did_ wage war with Bor." She shook her head, "It's not so different."

"Save the albeit simple fact that the Vana aren't monsters."

"Loki!"

He ignored her, flicking the book open again, tracing over the words with his finger, "It says here that Laufey led his forces against _Midgard_ , instead of Asgard itself, during that war."

"Midgard is weak, its people short-lived. He thought to kill them off and thus extend his own dominions. And there were rumors –"

"He thought we would not defend them?"

"Bor was not like your father," she tugged a plant loose, "he spared no love for Midgard, but only for conquest."

"Is that why Laufey did so much damage to Midgard? Father lost time in having to leave against his father's will?"

"No," as long ago as that time was, it ever brought a chill to her blood. "We were at war already with Jotunheim. It had been a long time that Bor and your father both had been away."

"If Laufey was already at war in his _own_ realm, what sense is there in leading his warriors off of it? It says here that Father and Grandfather were at the very _gates_ of Utgard!"

"There was rumor that the Tessarect had been found in the Northern lands of Midgard. It is possible Laufey thought to use it to compound the power of the Casket of Eternal Winters to defeat us. Or that it was merely a desperate attempt to divide our forces."

"Not a particularly good strategy," Loki scoffed, flicking a page, "He ought not to have gone himself."

"True enough. A wise king defends his own home and people above all else."

For a moment, the only sound was that of the plants as Frigga worked among them.

"The Tessarect," Loki said, then, "I've heard of it."

Frigga nodded, "It was a casing created in ancient times to house the Space Gem, when the Gauntlet was as yet unfound. Once, it resided in our own Vault. But it was lost to us centuries ago."

"It _might_ be on Midgard?"

"It might be any number of places. It may have been destroyed. No one knows for sure."

The pages of his book flicked aimlessly behind her. "Then Laufey left his people at Bor's mercy to chase after some phantom?" he gave a derisive laugh, "No wonder we won. So, then, Father was late because he couldn't conceive such poor strategy and thought Heimdal must be mad?"

"The attack was unannounced."

There was a startled pause, then, "I know Father and Heimdal have had their differences, but not to warn of an attack? How does Heimdal maintain his position?"

"Heimdal did not see them."

"What," Loki laughed, "he took a nap? What means could they have used? They didn't have any of the Gems that _I've_ ever read."

A chill crept down her spine and she shook it off, fool thing that it was. All of this was so long ago that if the Jotuns had possessed some means of attacking her home, all would have been done and over decades hence. "They did not," she said, "There are legends of other ways across the Realms –"

"Yes, I know," Loki interrupted her, "'Secret Paths' between the Realms. They're no more than myth."

"Myths are more of truth than many would give them credit for, my son," she raised her eyes briefly to meet his, "And you would do well to remember that. Many odd things have come across the Nine, and many disasters averted by those who accounted for the possible veracity of 'myths'."

"So, they might exist?"

His voice vibrated with excitement. "They _may_ ," she cautioned, "But their use could be detrimental to all, _including_ the most well-trained. Even in the legends the paths were not said to be safe, only to be traversed by the most powerful of magic-users."

"And as Bor was slain by a Frost Giant sorcerer, it would stand to reason that they have to have had one."

She smiled to herself, "That is true."

"Perhaps he found a way through!"

"Perhaps," she said, "and perhaps the Casket of Eternal Winters has powers of which we are unaware."

"Why is it we can't find out?" he asked, "Father said we were never to touch it."

"To touch it is death," Frigga sat back on her heels the better to see her work, "It contains the ice of the Fimbulvetr – the 'Age of Winter' that the Norns predicted would precede the Ragnarok – an ice that would choke out Jotunheim itself. We dared not meddle with what might be the death – not only of the meddler – but of Yggdrasil itself."

"I don't know if I believe that."

He had a skeptical look on his face and she was glad that he would question her directly. More often than not, that look was followed only by silence. "Oh?"

"If not even the AllFather can touch it," he said, "then how did we get it into the Vault in the first place?"

"Ah," she rested on her heels and surveyed her work. "Vali, the leading man of the Einheriar," she said softly, "lost his life in doing so. The frost spread so far up his arms that it went into his heart and there was nothing we could do."

Loki was very quiet and when she glanced up at him he looked ashamed, "I," he flicked something off his wrist, "I didn't know…"

"Of course you didn't," she touched his foot and he looked back at her. "Always ask me, Loki. I am proud of you and your questions."

He gave her a smile.

"Laufey used the Casket with such freedom that across the Realms it was feared that he might unleash the Fimbulvetr itself," she turned one last appraising look at her garden, "so Vali's sacrifice was a noble one."

"How did Laufey come upon the Casket, Mother, if he was so unfit for it?"

"Not every guardian is chosen," giving a quick nod, she got to her feet and brushed off her skirt, "The Casket was given Jotunheim time-out-of-mind, not as a weapon of war, but as a tool to build up Jotunheim, and to aid them in crafting both their glory, and that of the other Eight, as all wonders are given."

"Given by whom?"

She looked down at him where he sat cross-legged on the bench with the book closed on his lap and his face turned up to hers, sharp and slender, surrounded by the flowers of her garden, eyes lit. Curious. She smiled at him, "No one really knows," she said. "Perhaps the Norns themselves. Every Realm was said to have had some gift from them. Over the ages most have been lost."

"But they still exist?"

"They may."

The sky arched piercing blue above them.

Loki had his fingers against his mouth, his elbow resting on an up-drawn knee. His eyes were distant as he considered all she'd told him.

"Come along," she said, extending an arm to him, "It's time we readied for the feast."

Unfolding from the bench, Loki grimaced, "If we must."

"Oh come now," she put an easy arm about his shoulders. He was getting so much taller…he had to have grown since that very _morning,_ "You'll have more fun than that."

Grudgingly, he smiled.

"You know you always do."

"All right fine," he shrugged her laughingly off, "I'll behave myself."

"The day that happens," she told his back as he went on ahead of her, "the stars themselves will fall from the heavens."

He turned back to her with his smile wide and his eyes snapping, his bow showy and mocking. Then he turned and vanished within the dark inside the hall.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Controversial chapter! This is where it all happens!**

 **Bor was AllFather. He died in the Great War on Jotunheim right before Odin adopted Loki. Marvel says. So there. The story she told him was the story I read on the Marvel site. The thing I left out – that Frigga couldn't know and I'm not sure I buy in this 'verse – was that Loki was the sorcerer who killed him (time travel).**

 **I worked in my own head-cannon with Frigga. I don't know what Bor thought about her in the comics or if he gave her a second thought. I liked her testing out that Jotun thing.**

 **The 'rumors of Tessarect' thing is all mine, but – after seeing** _ **Captain America**_ **I thought it plausible, and I liked working the Tessarect in early. Also, it adds a** _ **delicious**_ **amount of irony to the** _ **Avengers**_ **storyline that I'm sure Thor would miss and Loki would not point out. Odin came crashing down to Midgard to stop Laufey from getting hold of the Tessarect. Now Odin's son is sent to Midgard to stop Laufey's son from doing the same thing. Think about** _ **that**_ **next time you watch that mountain scene in** _ **Avengers**_ **. Tell me that's not fun.**

 **Also, I don't know if it's directly stated or only implied that Heimdal did not see their attack coming. If Asgard was as advanced and powerful as they seemed to be, one would imagine they could have pre-emptively stopped the attack before the giants "threatened to plunge the mortal realm into a new ice-age". This is one of my favorite fan-theories.**

 **I've been asked how** _ **old**_ **I think Heimdall** _ **is**_ **. Old enough that he was functioning as Gate Keeper at that point. I like to imagine he's about the same age as Odin and that maybe he and Odin were friends before Odin got too busy with King-things.**

 **Secret paths. If you buy the time travel argument, it could be said that Loki was the sorcerer who led them through. Again, not sure I buy that argument, especially in the MCU. I think it was just some other Jotun sorcerer. But that's me.**

 **Vali's mine. I always wondered who the guy was who picked it up and why it didn't hurt him. I thought there** _ **had**_ **to be a good story there.**

 **The 'kill everybody who touches it' story is mine (Loki's curious. Why is the movie the first time he touches it?), but the 'containing the Fimbulvetr' part was on the Marvel site. Fimbulvetr is a myth-thing. It was supposed to be a winter that lasted three years, each year as bad as three winters together (see the obsession with the number 9?) that would be the last stage of the mortal realms before Ragnarok definitively wiped everyone out.**

 **On a less pivotal note, I like Frigga teasing Loki about his behavior and his embracing it. They have a good thing going, the two of them.**

 **Thoughts? Arguments? Comments? Especially on this one! Let me know ;) Pretty much the rest of my argument relies on** _ **this**_ **chapter.**


	18. Chapter 18

**About 15/16 I think.**

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"But Father I _have_ to go!"

"Thor, I have already given you my answer."

Thor drew himself up to be as tall as possible – he was catching up to his father, " _I_ am the _crown prince_ –"

"And _I_ , the AllFather!"

Some part of him cowered. Only cowards would be won thus.

"You will do as your father bids you, _boy_!"

Thor bit his tongue.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"So I take it he said, 'no'?"

"I _hate_ him," Thor paced. "He's stupid and he doesn't listen."

Loki laughed.

Thor whirled on him, "No." He said. "Don't you _dare_ compare me to _him_!"

"I wouldn't dream of it," Loki smirked.

Thor spun back into his pacing. Back and forth across his floors. Back and forth.

"What did he say?"

"No."

Loki snorted, "I figured as much. I meant _after_ that."

"He said I was to leave off _my_ training and train with you."

There was a startled moment, then, "With _me_?"

"Yes, with you. What's so surprising about that?"

He'd been shocked himself. Offended even. It was worse if Loki was too.

"For how long?"

"He didn't _say_."

"Well," Loki laughed oddly, "This should be an interesting experiment."

"What do you mean 'interesting'? I _hate_ him."

"We do things differently," Loki shrugged.

"Yes. _I_ fight. You…" he sought a proper word, then waved it off.

"I what?"

"You – I don't know!" Thor said, "You prance around and throw things!"

Silence. Then Loki was laughing.

"It's a waste of my time!" Thor growled.

"Well," Loki stood, "I'm sorry he's wasting your time. I should go."

"Where are you going?"

"I have things to do, Thor."

"Fine." Thor snapped. "Go ahead."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Just a brief argument. The 'some do battle others just do tricks' joke sounded old when Thor made it in the deleted scene from** _ **Thor**_ **and Loki didn't bother arguing it. Old and worn out. And Loki (here, not in the movie – well, in the movie too), being older, doesn't argue like he used to. He laughs and is sarcastic and quiet and leaves when he doesn't want to listen any more. He doesn't want to just get pissed off and throw things or cry. He's a big boy now, and he's been beat-up or belittled enough times and he doesn't like his chances of winning a straight-up fight. Thor's a little** _ **much**_ **for the best of us.**

 **Short, yes. But let me know what you think.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Same as last time**

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

The door to the library swung to with a thud and Frigga turned to find Loki, flushed and scowling darkly at the ground as he came.

"Loki?"

He jerked up, and stared at her before recovering himself, "Mother," he stammered, "I'm sorry, I didn't," he shut his eyes and a calmer, blanker look smoothed over his face, "I didn't know you were here."

"Yes," she slid the tome back onto the shelf, "I thought to find something here that was not in the archives."

"Did you?" he asked pleasantly.

Frigga shot him a side-long look, "Yes," she said, "I did."

Turning from the shelf she faced him where he was ignoring her, busily absorbed in the books before him. "What is it that you seek here?"

"I was looking for a listing of Gwithyon's lineage, I couldn't find anything related to the mountainous regions of Vanaheim at all."

She rested a shoulder on the shelf a little from him, "For what purpose?"

He shrugged, tracing along the spines as though sifting through them for one particular title, "Curiosity, mostly."

"Hmm," she drew a little back, "Best of luck, my son. But I think you'll do better on shelf against the left wall. This is dedicated to Natural Histories."

Abruptly Loki's hand drew back and he stopped.

Gently, she took his hand and drew him to face her. She studied him.

"It didn't go well, then?"

His eyes flashed. "The hunt went well," he snapped, pulling his hand away. He turned his back to her, voice false and light. "I didn't expect anything more of it."

Frigga was reminded of just how young he yet was.

She left him and went to the shelf and began to straighten the books on it, though none of them needed it.

"I'm not just some bauble to be shown about!"

He was flushed again and breathing fast, mouth a thin line and fists tight.

"Loki?"

"Thor only wants me around for _tricks_!" he spat. "And don't _tell_ me Father isn't every bit as bad! He only bids me come because he has some _use_ for me!"

"Loki, that's not true."

"Yes it is! They only have me come along because I'm the only one who can do the things I can! And I'm sick of it!"

"Loki –"

"Don't tell me it's not true!" he shouted, "Just –" he made some dismissing move with his hands,

"Darling,"

"Just let me a _lone_!"

He was standing nearer than he'd estimated to the shelf and as he flung away he hit his head and gave a startled cry, bringing his hands up to hide his face.

Part of her wanted to laugh that that's what he got for his display of temper, but she knew that he would not appreciate that, just now.

"Well," she said, "When you're through with your research, come and meet me in our usual place. I had another knife technique I wanted to show you and I had forgotten it the last time we trained together."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Pretty much the same as last time. Things are starting to get a little more rough for him. I think he expected his problems to magically go away as he got older. He's old enough now that he's beginning to realize they won't, and he doesn't really have anything like a plan B, besides 'pretend everything's okay and slink off alone when you can't anymore.' Frigga gets him to out himself, which I think happened a lot, and he's a diva. He spun around because he was angry and he hit his head on a bookshelf.**

 **If you didn't laugh at that, you're taking this too seriously.**

 **I am of the view that Loki suffers from anxiety and/or depression, supported by several interesting statistics I've found. 1.) People diagnosed with depression are usually smarter than average and 2.) see situations more realistically. People diagnosed with anxiety have higher levels of empathy, 1.) understand things on a deeper level than average and 2.) have at least twice as intense levels of intuition accuracy.**

 **Honestly, now that I'm really looking at this list, I wouldn't be surprised if he had ADHD symptoms as a kid. People diagnosed with ADHD 1.) Thrive in disruptive situation (hello, god of chaos) 2.) are three times more likely to form their own business (confidence/drive/willingness to 'get dirty') 3.) embrace adventure and 4.) are excellent multi-taskers.**

 **Somebody should write** _ **that**_ **fic. ADHD Loki as – like – a ten-year-old. Poor Frigga. Show him getting older and more in control of that impulse and Thor making fun of him for it. Then you could have the anxiety/depression thing kick in. Lots of brotherly-love and feels.**

 **Anyways…**

 **Frigga wants to help him. She wants to show him that – as much as she disagrees with his stance – somebody** _ **does**_ **care about him for** _ **him**_ **and not just for what he does, but she doesn't want to snuggle him to death. He** _ **is**_ **a big boy now. So she offers to teach him things.**

 **I think a lot of the worse parts of** _ **Thor**_ **would never have happened if she was more involved with Loki. If she pressed him to make him talk, or hunted him down and asked him what he was doing, etc. The biggest criticism I've heard of her as a character is that she ignored him while he was having a major crisis.**

 **In her defense, her husband was in some kind of coma. Also, I think – while she and Loki were really close when he was little – he was insecure enough that he** _ **needed**_ **to know he could solve his own problems. Whether or not he could – or** _ **should**_ **.**

 **I think – whether or not she understood** _ **why**_ **, she did understand that he was uncomfortable, and that he wanted his space to sort things out his own way. As much as it had to have pained her, she would have loved him enough to step back. She'd let him know she was there if he needed her, let him know she trusted him, then back off.**

 **Which is – I think – essentially what she did in** _ **Thor**_ **. She explained her side of his adoption story to him and told him that she loved him and considered him** _ **hers**_ **. Maybe she didn't get shockingly aggressive about it, but maybe she thought the bond she had with him was stronger than it was, and maybe she was distracted by the 'first son just got kicked out and I'm not allowed to call him' and 'husband is now in a coma' things. The next thing she does – in the deleted scene – is very coolly make Loki king – at least temporarily. If there's any better way to say, 'I trust you', I don't know it.**

 **Maybe it wasn't the** _ **right**_ **thing to do with him, but I think it was what he would have wanted, and I think she would have done all in her power** _ **not**_ **to smoother him.**

 **Thoughts? Comments? Fire away ;)**


	20. Chapter 20

**Maybe about 16/17?**

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"You're too old for these _tricks_ , Boy!"

Loki bit off the words, "Yes, Father."

"What were you thinking?"

Sullen and silent, Loki starred at the far wall. He didn't know _what_ he'd been thinking. He'd thought it would be funny, at the time. Though _why_ , escaped him.

Yes, it was childish to turn random bits of food and drink at a feast to castling hawks. They'd shot all of a sudden out from every part of the table. Everyone had been startled.

Startled was putting it mildly. Mass hysteria was closer.

Especially after the serpent. He _really_ ought to have re-thought the serpent.

He understood _now_ – now that it was all over and done and he'd _seen_ the outcome – that it was a bad idea. He should have known better. But in the heat of the moment, he hadn't known it. He'd only thought that it would be funny.

And he wasn't about to stammer all that in an attempt to exonerate himself as though he were no more than some simpering child.

Odin took a breath, "Fine," he said. He turned to the door. "You will remain until I've cleaned up the mess you've made."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"Loki?"

When there was no answer, Thor took a step farther in.

"Get _out_ of my room."

"What's the matter with you?" Thor laughed.

Loki flicked grim eyes at him, "What do you want?"

"I want you to come with me to Bolmso, Brother."

Loki looked at him incredulously, "You're going to Bolmso?"

"I hear there's good hunting there," Thor shrugged.

Loki gave a short laugh, turning dismissively back to the book splayed open on his desk. "Well, in _that_ case…"

"Will you come?"

Loki cocked a sarcastic eyebrow, "You are aware I am – for all accounts – under house arrest?"

"Father's not still angry about that? It's been _three days_."

"He is."

"Have you tried talking to him?"

The look Loki gave him was eloquent enough without words.

"Well I don't know," Thor protested, "They call _you_ Silver-Tongue,"

Loki was looking out the window to his left. Thor couldn't tell what he was thinking and it didn't cross his mind for more than a moment to try.

"Well," Thor shrugged carelessly, " _I_ thought it was funny."

A laugh, "Even the _snake_?"

"What have I to fear from your tricks, Brother?"

A long pause, then, "You truly want me to attend you?"

Thor looked a little startledly at him, "Is it wrong I should desire my brother beside me?"

"Pardon me if I'm skeptical," his mouth tipped wryly, "Your friends don't always share your interests. I would rather not be burden to them."

He turned the page of the book before him.

"They're as much your friends as mine," Thor protested, "Though, in truth, I have not mentioned this trip to them."

Loki was looking at him and it made Thor feel oddly exposed.

He picked up an odd, twisted stone that Loki had set on the side of the desk and looked at it absently. "I had wished to spend time with _you_ , Brother, as we used to do." He set the thing down. Loki had the oddest things.

"You leave by the West gate?" Loki asked.

"Yes."

"You should get along, then, they only keep it open so long on these days."

He was bent to his book and Thor glowered at him.

Loki didn't seem to notice.

Thor flung about and left.

Marching down the hall and stair, Thor came suddenly out into the open and made straight for the stables. "My horse." He demanded.

The stable hand took a glance at his face and gave a brisk bob of a bow, "My prince," before vanishing.

The fool took longer with the horse than Thor believed possible.

There was a step behind him and he turned to see Sif.

"I had wondered if I might catch you," she smiled, then cast about and, getting the attention of a stable hand, "My horse. I haven't far to ride."

"C-catch me?" Thor fumbled.

She ignored him, telling the hand, "Just to Bolmso and back."

Thor spluttered, "How did you –?"

She turned a laughing look at him, "They tell me there's good hunting in those parts. Will you attend me, my prince?"

Realization hit him, and Thor gave a shallow bow, "Of course, _Lady_."

"You know," he said moments later as they left the West Gate in their wake, "You had me. I did not guess."

"Not guess?" she threw him a questioning look.

"We're out of sight now," he laughed, "Heimdal himself would have to squint to see us, there's no need to keep up pretenses."

"Pretenses?" she slowed her horse, confusion darkening her face, "What is it you expect, Thor?"

Thor's heart jumped up in his throat as he thought he just _might_ have been mistaken and his face flushed, "My Lady –" he stammered.

Sif laughed then, and the laugh was not hers. When Thor looked confusedly up, it was Loki on the horse opposite him on the road.

"Now, Loki," he smiled in spite of himself, turning his horse the proper direction again, "Was that really necessary?"

"You wouldn't ask if you could've seen your face," he laughed.

Thor gave a deep sigh.

"It was just a little fun!" Loki protested, then, "What is it that draws you to Bolmso? Is it truly only the promise of some hunt?"

"I didn't think you were coming."

Loki shrugged, "Better this way," he said, "So..?"

Thor grinned at him. "Hunting." He said.

He spurred his horse into a gallop and laughed as he heard Loki coming behind him.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **What can I say? He** _ **is**_ **the god of mischief.**

 **The shape-shifting didn't surprise Thor in** _ **The Dark World**_ **, so I assume it was old news by then.**

 **Bolmso is a place in the mythology. I just needed a place-name.**

 **Anything? Hit me ;)**

 **TLTLTL**

 **Guest Reviewer: You asked about Sigyn. Good question. Not sure what my feelings on that are (well - not QUITE true - I know my head cannon). In _Thor_ he doesn't seem to have any romantic connections/interests. Now, that may just be because there was no time. BUT. Marvel has hesitated to make any allusions to any romantic interests. Perhaps he follows the road of many depressed/anxious/hella-stressed-out people, and just decided he hadn't time/energy for it, or thought he wasn't worth a girl's time. Perhaps he'd been burned before. Perhaps he'd seen Thor go through something rough, or maybe Thor/anybody else they know well is a player and he felt bad for all those girls and didn't want to hurt somebody like that. I don't know. **

**In my own personal head-verse, Loki watched Thor fall in and out of infatuations for years (like most little siblings do) and teased him mercilessly about them. Then, he met Sif, and she was the first girl to who would talk back to him. He found that intriguing, and, being curious, nd noticing that she was different, he spent more time with/stalking her. They probably fought a lot, and he probably would say he hated her, but he's little, and even as an adult he's not particularly good at reading his own emotions. The fascination I think would turn into a crush, but Sif wouldn't have the patience for that sort of thing and she'd drive him away. Later on she'd have a crush on Thor, but I think that came WAY later. He saw her as a companion. Loki only saw her as a girl. And a stupid one if his insisting on arguing with her all the time was any indication. She might change her ind later, but by then Loki's already decided she hates him and moved on.**

 **There's also the mythic hair-cutting. Way to woo the ladies, Loki.**

 **As far a Sigyn goes, I have my ideas about her. I think she and Loki had a really cute relationship that Frigga nurtured the hell out of - probably sometime about the mid-teens - but then there was some huge misunderstanding and by the time we get to the movies, they haven't spoken in decades. Whatever it was that happened, it was intense enough that Loki forswore romantic dealings and bent to less-painful pursuits.**

 **But that's me.**

 **I'm a huge believer in the myth-pairings (Thor/Sif and Loki/Sigyn), rather than the Marvel mash-ups, so - personally - if I were to "marry Loki off" I'd have him come to some kind of settlement with Thor and be living in comparative peace in Asgard and would just happen to run into Sigyn somewhere in the city. They'd have some pressing reason to spend some amount of time together, they'd realize they still get along really well, and things would go swimmingly on.**

 **It's be super cute till you get to the wedding, when they all realize they have to go through the ceremony without Frigga. That'd be sad. Cute, but sad.**

 **Anyway, not a major plot point, but my thoughts nonetheless.**


	21. Chapter 21

**16/17**

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

Thor was trying to be friendly, but Loki couldn't reciprocate. He was weary, even though it was yet only the morning.

He was angry still after the fight they had had last evening. Or, rather, he _had_ been. Now he was just tired.

Apparently, to Thor, it was a thing of the past.

And it occurred to Loki that no one stayed angry with Thor long. Sif was the only one who argued with him with anything like his own frequency, and even she would be back to laughing alongside him within moments.

He managed something like a smile at his brother, and went his own way.

He had wanted to stay angry. It was easier than this. As it was, he wondered if he was mad. No one stayed angry with Thor. It was part of the oaf's charm. Or perhaps it was only that Thor was right and he was in the wrong. And he felt that he should have seen that by now. Was he mad? Did he fret over nothing, wounded by words that would have no effect on another? Was he truly _that_ weak?

It didn't matter.

Loki sunk down and kneaded the tips of his fingertips into his forehead.

Fire of the Nine, he was weary of it.

If only he could _understand_ …

"Good day to you, my prince."

It was his tutor. Loki straightened, smoothing an untroubled smile over his face.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Not much to discuss here either. Loki's having a hard time justifying his feelings. We all do. Especially those of us who live with more Thor-like, quick-tempered and quickly-over-it kind of people. Thought it in character and perhaps not shown well enough in earlier chapters.**

 **He's also hiding emotions in front of other people on general principle. This breeds distrust, because nobody is naturally blank. On a conscious or subconscious level, an observer assumes the blank person is hiding something, and if they're working** _ **that**_ **hard to hide it (it takes a** _ **lot**_ **of energy to hide all emotion, or even to disguise it for any length of time) what they're hiding must be awful. And if you already have a reputation as being a pain in the ass…**

 **Comments? Thoughts? Opinions? Hide nothing on pain of suspicion ;)**


	22. Chapter 22

**16/17-ish**

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"How many times, Boy?" Odin demanded.

Loki scowled at his feet, his arms folded across his chest, eyes blazing.

"What was it possessed you this time?"

"Why is it when Thor vanishes, for _weeks_ with _no_ word, you do nothing. But when I leave, for a _day_ –"

"Thor does not go alone."

"Oh," Loki snapped, "So, if I had a band of witless fools encouraging my every rash endeavor, _then_ it would be all right?"

Odin paused a long moment, gathering his temper. "He does not only have witless fools," he countered lowly, "You commonly ride along with them, do you not? Though you've given me plenty and enough reasons to doubt the soundness of your judgement."

"I speak sense and I get back-handed, I do as I like and _this_! What am I supposed to do?"

He stilled the hand that wanted to fly. The boy was yet young. Foolishness was to be expected. There was movement by the door on the side of his good eye. Frigga stood there, hands folded and face stern. She shook her head softly. She would allow him his ruling on this.

Loki was looking the other way.

"Your mother," Odin tested, "was beside herself."

Loki smirked, "Was she?"

That was enough to convince Frigga otherwise. She closed the space between them in two steps and slapped him.

Loki jumped back, one hand flying to his face, his eyes wide and startled.

"How dare you?" she demanded.

"I," he stammered, "I'm sorry, Mother,"

"I should hope you are," she flashed, "We could not find you, Loki! You frightened me."

"I'm sorry," he shrunk away.

Amusement tugged at Odin's mouth and he turned his head away.

"Yes." Frigga said, then, "You are still young," she softened, brushing her hand back through his hair, "I fear for my rash, young sons. You mustn't fly like that again."

"Yes, Mother," he gulped.

She traced along his face with the fingertips of one hand, "Now go," she said, "Your father and I will discuss what's to be done."

The door shut behind him and Odin surveyed his wife.

"And _I_ am harsh with him," he said.

"Commonly," she countered, "You are. You two haven't the strength to handle the words you throw at him. He knows the truth behind mine."

"They have all my love, Frigga."

"But do they _know_ it?" she asked, flashing her grey eyes at him with a little smirk. Then she shook her head. "We've spoken of this before. You know how I stand. What shall we do with him now?"

"Do you think he shall do this again?"

"He may."

"Even after…?"

"Of course. He does not so much fear his mother."

"No," Odin said, "He's too certain of her love."

"Odin!"

"I jest."

She watched him a long moment, "I hope you do," she said.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Remember, in my head-verse, Odin thinks Loki has good judgement. He also has significant doubts about Thor. Mainly I wanted to show Frigga get angry with Loki because it occurred to me that that hadn't really happened yet. I liked his response to that. Also, things are starting to turn over a little bit. He still has the instinctive fear of his father (as much as** _ **any**_ **16-year-old boy does) that you can see in** _ **Thor**_ **, but he's more angry now. And, being 16-ish, he's not afraid or prudent enough to hide it. I imagine that he got in enough trouble for it that he learned to hide it as a young adult, until** _ **The Avengers**_ **and** _ **The Dark World**_ **, when he decided it didn't matter anymore.**

 **In character? Let me know.**


	23. Chapter 23

**17/18 I think. Fandril would be about the same age.**

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"Father, let me take him!"

Odin turned and looked blankly at his young son.

He'd grown tall in the past year.

Those green eyes pleaded with him as they so rarely did. "He has skills we could well use."

"He is a petty thief," Odin said.

"Who got _repeatedly_ around the _AllFather's own_ guard!"

"Not to mention _you_."

"Exactly!" Loki said. "He's brave, Father, and skilled besides!"  
"What do you propose?"

"That he attend me for some span of time, and when you are convinced he can be trusted, he be free to walk among us."

"And if I am not convinced?"

"At the end of the time?" Loki gestured fluidly, "Then do as you like with him."

Odin regarded the boy a long moment. "And should he slip your watch?"

Loki shrugged, "Punish me for it."

The gesture was flippant, but Loki's eyes were hard, like shards of ice. He truly believed what it was he said. If naught else, the boy could learn from this.

Odin gave a deep nod. "Be it so." He said.

The butt of Gungnir crashed against the ground.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"You!"

Loki laughed, "Hello to you as well."

"But –" he spluttered, "but why? They told me –"

"Shh." Loki put one finger to his lips and the blonde boy fell silent, rubbing at his wrists where the shackles had so lately been, gaping at the room he'd found himself thrust into.

Indicating the motion with a flick of his wrist Loki asked, "Did they hurt you?"

"What – no. No. It's just…odd."

"I'm sure it is," the prince chuckled. "Did they give you a name?"

"Fandril," he said absently.

"And I am Loki," the prince said, "Though doubtless you knew that already."

He'd _known_ that second time that he'd been caught. Known in his heart that it would be death to him within the span of the next sunrise, no matter how well he might try to hide himself. He'd thought himself safe. He'd gotten lazy after the first time. But the green-eyed prince had spotted him. Their eyes had met across the space and Fandril had _known_. But nothing had happened. No alarm been called.

And then there were the third time, and the fourth. And the fifth time, Loki should have killed him. But he'd hissed at Fandril to run, then distracted the unknowing guards who would have discovered him with some inconsequential detail of their duties as he'd escaped, bewildered by the prince's good-will. Was he not stealing things from the prince's own home?

It had been the sixth time that he got caught. And he didn't understand a bit of it.

"What is happening?" Fandril asked. It was blunt, but the situation was overwhelming to the point that he little cared for propriety.

"Ah," Loki said, "What is happening," he sat straighter, "is that I am offering you my protection."

"Why?"

That seemed to startle the prince. He laughed shortly with a bent finger against his lips. He shrugged, "I like you," he decided. "And I think you more than a thief of palace jewels. Though," he commented, "Your techniques were impressive. I only caught you by chance, that first time, and _that_ has not happened before."

Fandril eyed him warily, "What happens now?"

"Now," the prince said lazily, leaning back, "you will remain in my presence and under my protection until the AllFather deems you worthy of his trust."

"And," Fandril edged the question nervously, "what if I'm not?"

The prince did not react as he expected. "Not what?" one brow rose on his pale face, "Worthy of it?" He shrugged, "I'm not usually that grossly misguided in my judgement."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

Life as the younger prince's shadow was nothing like what Fandril expected. It seemed he took his position as the charge of the prince much more seriously than Loki did. He often glanced back in that first day as Fandril followed him about his business through the palace with a half-smirk on his face that Fandril did not understand. It made him feel this whole thing was an elaborate trick. He knew the prince's reputation. Everyone did. Loki liked tricks and was constantly doing what was not expected of him. And surely, adopting a convicted criminal was unexpected. Fandril did not know what to make of it. But this was better than what other fate may have awaited him and he chose instead to keep his mouth shut and see where this new path led him.

At the evening meal he hung back, certain he was not intended to eat with the princes and their companions, but Loki beckoned him and when he hesitated, Loki laughed. Thor turned back to see what merriment his brother had found and his face lit with a grin. "Who is this, Brother?" Then, without waiting for a reply, he waved an arm, "Come, sit. Eat. Drink. Make merry with us!"

And the wonders did not end there. He had his own bed set up in another room of the prince's chambers – a private room with great, wide-windows. Windows he could have very easily made an escape out of.

But he didn't.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

Fandril amused himself as best he might as the prince worked. He found he did not dislike the libraries. He rather liked them, in fact. They were quiet and dark, with tall, thin windows that let in shafts of light that were almost like a solid thing. Twice he glanced over to find Loki laughing at him.

Finally, the prince set the papers he'd been reading down.

"What are you doing?"

Fandril blinked at him. He drew his hand back from the ledge he'd been resting it on. "Do I do wrong?"

His mouth twitched at one corner, "No," he said lowly, "It is only that you seem to be having too much fun."

Fandril stammered, then realized Loki was being sarcastic, and he stopped.

Loki was still laughing at him in the bottom of his eyes, "I did not intend you to be my body-slave," he said. "But since you're still here, come along."

He moved so quickly that Fandril had to jog to catch him up.

"You said I was to stay with you."

"To please my father," he said over his shoulder, "Little more. You can do as you like."

He stopped as abruptly as he'd started, turning to face Fandril as he backpedaled.

"Go your way," he said, spreading his arms. "The palace is open to you."

Fandril couldn't help feeling it was a test.

"I can do as I like?" he asked.

"Do you doubt my word?"

"Never," Fandril saw him laugh at that and his own mouth twitched up at the corner, "But I will stay longer with you, I think."

Loki's head cocked to one side, like a curious raven, "Are my doings _that_ intriguing to you?"

Fandril shrugged, "I'm new to palace life," he said easily, "I do not yet know what I like, so how can I be expected to _do_ it?"

"You'd best stay with me, then." Loki nodded, turning on his heel. "If nothing else, I do at least offer a… _varied_ view of the palace."

But there was something about the smile that had begun on the prince's face that was less charming than the others had been, and more true. And Fandril didn't know why, but that mattered to him.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **This is the second of my three spin-off fics that pleaded they'd be ignored forever if I didn't add them here.**

 **Gotta admit. Flynn Rider being voiced by the second (and in my opinion** _ **better**_ **) actor who played Fandril,** _ **was**_ **my** _ **entire**_ **inspiration for this.**

 **What was he stealing? Nothing** _ **too**_ **important. For whom and why? That's why I didn't think I'd write it as its own thing. The backstory was elusive. Point is, he has few to no ties outside, and Loki likes him.**

 **No, Loki's not lying to him. I don't think Loki actually lies very often. I think usually he relies on the omission of facts and the fact that people will connect them** _ **wrong**_ **.**

 **That, and, charming as he can be, he's socially awkward.**

 **In** _ **Thor**_ **, after Loki admits to outing their illicit inter-realm expedition, Fandril was the only one who didn't immediately suspect him of letting the Jotuns in. Something along the lines of 'he's always been prone to** _ **tricks**_ **, but this is different.' In** _ **The Dark World**_ **, Hogan isn't** _ **there**_ **. Volstagg, Sif** _ **and**_ **Thor all threaten to kill Loki if/when he betrays them. The only thing Fandril does is make fun of him for falling down. So, yeah.**

 **And NO. No slash. Not for any moral stand or anything, that's just not what I see** _ **here**_ **, and not what I intend to be seen.**

 **Thoughts?**


	24. Chapter 24

**Late teens**

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"Are you sure…"

"I told you," Loki snapped, "You are free to be your own. You need not follow me."

Loki did not explain his ideas well. Not as he was carrying them out. Fandril had known that within the first week. Surely there was some good explanation for his current action that he would explain later.

"Shall I move farther away," he asked, "Or do you think I'll save myself any harm by ducking?"

The look that Loki slid over his shoulder was trying to be annoyed.

"Not talking might help in _that_ endeavor."

Fandril turned, "Point taken."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Short. Sweet. They're breaking into something, I guess. You know, doing stupid, teenage-guy buddy stuff. I pictured Loki getting frustrated and working at whatever the thing was, with Fandril guarding his back, being all laid back and trying to make him laugh in that dry, mellow sort of way he has. I think Loki would respond really well to that. Especially because, with Thor, that's been his job, and one gets sick of constantly being in need for that job – as one with experience being** _ **that**_ **guy.**

 **In character? Let me know ;)**


	25. Chapter 25

**Late teens**

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"That thief you brought in," Thor rested on his elbows with the goblet on the railing between his hands, "I find myself quite taken with him."

"Do you?" Loki laughed, it was warm and he was easy beside his brother. The arguments didn't matter so much, some days.

"He has a quick wit and a ready sword. I must confess," Thor lowered his cup, "I did not know what you were thinking bringing him here, but now I see what I think I did not then. Is he under your watch still? I don't see him here…"

"I think he found a… _friend_...and they slipped out…"

Thor laughed.

"But no, he's never really been under my watch in more than word. I only said that for Father and I would think it's been long enough by now."

Thor scoffed, "You know how Father is."

Uncertainty was cold in his chest, "Yes," he said cautiously, "But Thor…"

Thor wasn't listening. He cast his empty goblet to the floor, "ANOTHER!" he roared and the people about them laughed.

Thor glanced back, "It's no matter, Brother."

Then Volstagg was there. Far from the boy who used to look after them when their mother thought them too old for a nurse and too young to be let alone. He crashed against the wood beside Thor, "The sons of Odin call for drinks!" he crowed.

"ANOTHER!" Thor shouted again, all for show, and the people cheered. Volstagg was laughing, slamming his open hand on the bar, his drink sloshing out of his goblet onto the floor.

"Drink, Brother," Thor smiled a little grimly, then, wider, throwing out his arms to include the entirety of the people in the tavern, "Join the rest of us!"

The eyes of all the tavern were on Loki very briefly, before the tavern-keeper thrust a new goblet into Thor's hand.

Loki finished his drink and slipped out alone into the dark. Thor wouldn't miss him – not for a while yet. If at all. He was busy performing for the people.

The air was crisp and clear. The stars and far-off galaxies glowed miles and miles away.

Loki took a breath and held it in his lungs as long as he was able.

There was a muffled roar from the tavern behind him and he scowled at it. Then he sighed, shook his head, and went off farther into the dark where there was yet peace to be had.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Thor doesn't want to be talked out of his frustration toward their father, and he doesn't want to fight with Loki about it anymore. Probably they've had this argument a thousand times. Unlike Loki, he's got nobody to go to with his frustrations, because he never thought to try their mother, and she wouldn't know how to handle him if he did. I think he – like Loki – assumed that when he was older things would be easier, and it's proved quite the opposite. Father still treats him like a child and I would guess he feels somewhat powerless about it, which is not a feeling anyone likes, but especially not a guy like Thor. And he's nothing like introspective. He's just going to drown his problems in one way or another.**

 **Loki doesn't know what to do about it. Thor's shutting him out, and he hates it.**

 **Thoughts? Comments? Opinions or Arguments! Let 'em fly.**

 **And sorry about the wait. The last few days have been CRAZY. Happy be-lated Thanksgiving to anyone who cares and don't get trample in the Black-Friday madness!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Pretty much from here on out, just picture them as slightly younger versions of the characters you see in the movies. I'm not good with ages, but I imagine them in the first movie to be in about the equivalent of their early twenties.**

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"So," Loki turned lazily about to look at him, "how are you enjoying your inclusion into the inner sanctum of the crown prince?"

"I quite like _him_ ," Fandril answered.

Loki laughed.

"Though the Lady frightens me, and I fail entirely to understand Volstagg."

"I thought as much," Loki said, no doubt recalling the many arguments, "He is our cousin. He was a…Keeper, of sorts, to my brother and I when Mother had deemed us too old for a nurse."

"And now?"

Loki shrugged, "He's well-enough as company. And Thor's determined to keep him."

"So you don't like him?"

That gave the prince pause. "You know," he said after a moment, his mouth bent in that smile he gave sometimes, twisted at an odd angle, "to be honest, I'm not sure I truly _like_ most people."

"Well," Fandril said, "you should communicate that better. It won't take long for your following to far outstrip your brother's."

Resting back, Loki laughed and Fandril smiled.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Mainly, I wanted to show that Fandril is being more included. Thor likes him as much as Loki does. Thus far, it's not a problem for anyone.**

 **I like the idea that Volstagg and Fandril did not always get along. The dry humor niche was already filled on Thor's team, not that I think Volstagg is territorial. I think their friendly banter started out with low-grade bickering that** _ **became**_ **friendly. Perhaps Volstagg doesn't trust Fandril's intent and his more-shady past, and feels like he has to protect his headstrong cousins – or friends, if you don't like the 'cousins' theory I coughed up. Volstagg – having a family – always struck me as being older than the others in their merry band. Maybe a protective instinct rearing its head?**

 **And I like Fandril making fun of Loki for admitting his anti-social tendencies.**

 **In character? Other thoughts?**

 **Longer tomorrow. Promise.**


	27. Chapter 27

"Fighting with your brother again?"

Loki whirled on him, his face pale and tight. Some of the anger left it as he glanced away. "Am I that obvious?"

"Only to one who knows you, my prince," Fandril unfolded himself from the space between the great pillars where he'd been sitting, watching the sparring in the courtyard below. "Did I startle you?"

Loki looked at him and behind his scowl his eyes were smiling.

"No."

"Better luck next time," Fandril shrugged easily, "What did you two argue about this time?"

"Why the interest?" Loki let out a long breath, markedly more relaxed, and Fandril was glad of it.

"I haven't brothers of my own," he shrugged again. "Curious, I suppose, what it's like."

"Aggravating." Loki said, then, more hotly, "I have no desire to discuss it."

"That's fine."

Loki flicked one of his strange looks at him.

Fandril had given up trying to figure what they meant. "I haven't anything to do this evening," he said. "Perhaps there might be something…"

Loki's eyes lit with some inner fire that changed his face entirely.

"I…think have an idea," he said.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"Are you mad?"

"As a matter of fact," Loki folded his arms, "Let's make it a bet."

"He'll guess!"

Loki smiled, "My own mother would be fooled."

"Fine. But you go too far! Surely you jest!"

"I don't."

"Fine." Fandril caved, "I'll do it."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

The lights were dim in the tavern.

"Are you sure about this?" Fandril breathed.

The beguiling creature on his arm laughed lowly, "Do you lose faith _now_?"

"I hadn't much from the first," Fandril scanned the sea of fair-haired heads. Surely the crown _prince_ should be more easily spotted than this. "I only hope you understand how this tale will spread."

A short, sharp laugh. "Let it. He's there. To your left. The big blonde idiot at the bar."

"Ah," he had him now, "Got it. You're certain he'll fall for it?"

"Of course," Fandril did not look to see the smile. "I know just what he likes."

"Well, that's alarming,"

Laughter again.

"He's got Volstagg and the Lady Sif with him. Does that change things?"

"No," softly, "I rather counted on it."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

Fandril promised himself he would never doubt Loki again.

He choked on his mead more times than he could count as Volstagg spluttered beside him – "Is that?" – "No." – "It can't be!" – Sif was too lost in her own sea of hopeless admirers to notice the one that Fandril had brought, who had Thor so wrapped around her finger – or, more appropriately – his.

Fandril had to admit, Loki knew what he was about.

And he _was_ quite fetching as a maid. If he didn't know any better – but he did. And that was enough of that. If he didn't know any better he'd be as lost as Thor and that made him distinctly and foolishly suspicious of the young ladies present at the tavern. He felt weirdly out of place, glancing about at all of them. Wondering if even the fairest truly was as she intended to be seen.

But the show was worth it.

He felt he ought to be more alarmed when Thor rose, took his dark young admirer on one arm and began making for the door, but the mead sent a pleasant, warm humming through his veins that dulled what he knew to be his better sense. He wouldn't have risen at all – in all likelihood – if he hadn't caught the stare of the young creature aimed at himself. For a moment, he was startled. What was she looking at _him_ for? Then he realized and stumbled to his feet. The young thing rolled her eyes and laughed at something Thor had said, leaning on his arm as he led her away.

The cool of the night air cleared his head a little as he trailed the princes along the darkened streets. Choking back his laughter, he wondered what Loki could be thinking.

He very nearly ruined the whole thing as the two stopped before a pillared garden by the palace and he saw how won Thor truly was, bending to kiss what Fandril knew to be his own brother. A strangled sound burst from his lips before he could catch it back. He clapped a hand to his mouth, vanishing into the shadows. He saw the creature's head turn, looking directly at him, sardonic and laughing and he was sure Loki saw him.

Thor's hand came up and brought her face back to his and bent and at the last moment the face – Loki's face! – turned away to accept Thor's advances against his cheek.

"Brother," he said, drawing back, "Surely there are better ways we might express this –"

Thor sprang back, spluttering and Loki's face split.

"LOKI!"

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

Loki dropped down at the table beside him. "I won."

"Yes you most certainly did," Fandril shifted on the bench to face him better, "I must confess," he tipped his goblet to him, "I did not believe it could be done."

He looked Loki up and down appraisingly, "You seem none the worse for wear."

Loki chuckled wryly.

"Not another glamour, is it?"  
"Oh no," he said. "You saw how he was," he gave a slight grimace, "'in his cups' – shall we say? While he failed to see the humor of my game, he also failed to see any true harm – after I talked to him a bit," a slow smile spread his lips, "as he believed none to be witness."

Fandril laughed, "He has little to feel shame for. You make an alluring maid."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Okay, this one was an idea I never actually intended to put on paper, but everyone I told it to laughed way harder than I thought it merited and pressured me into actually posting it.**

 **No. No slash. No not-brother incest. Just college-aged guy nonsense.**

 **In character? This Fandril-streak won't last forever. Let me know what you think ;) I** _ **promise**_ **we're getting to more plot-like chapters.**


	28. Chapter 28

"Loki?" Fandril ventured into the library.

"What?"

Loki had been distant and strange these past days and Fandril did not understand it. Did not know if he had done some wrong, or if he had, what it might be. He had been resident in Asgard for long enough that he'd thought he understood its younger prince. Perhaps that he'd won his trust. There was much Loki did not say, and while at first, Fandril had been hard-pressed to understand how the tales about him had come to be, now, he was beginning to fathom it. He followed the voice about the corner of one dark shelf and found its owner, side-long on the bench, one knee bent and a book in his hand.

Loki looked up with his hard, green eyes, and for whatever reason it made Fandril feel he _had_ done some wrong and that made him hesitate. Norns, he didn't understand it.

Loki didn't say anything, and finally, Fandril shook himself, "Your – your brother asked if I would accompany him."

Loki watched him levelly. Then, "What has that to do with me?"

"I am under your guard, Prince," Fandril said, carefully, "I thought –"

"I _told_ you," Loki said, too softly, "you are your own."

"I _thought_ you might want to _know_." Fandril spat, suddenly and unaccountably fed-up with him. "You offered yourself as my price should I do wrong and I thought you might want to be aware that I was _leaving the Realm_. Is that _all right_ with you?"

"I'm not your nursemaid." Loki snapped, "How _many times_ must I tell you you're free? Are you simple as that?"

"I thought I ought to ask." Fandril put up his hands.

Loki laughed, short, sharp. His eyes flashed, "Such honor from a thief!"

Then Loki's eyes went to Fandril's hip and he went blank.

Fandril followed the look and found his hand instinctively on the hilt of the sword he now always carried. He snatched it back, "Loki,"

The anger had closed out of his face, leaving only a blank sort of tiredness behind it. He looked away, back toward the window. "Get out."

"Loki, I'm sorry,"

Loki whirled on him, "I said, ' _Get out_ '!"

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"What, the dashing Fandril out of spirits?" Volstagg nudged him.

Fandril gave a weak smile. "I'm afraid I _may_ have started a quarrel,"

"Ah," Volstagg nodded, "With one of your paramours?"

"With Loki."

Volstagg began laughing so suddenly that Fandril was startled. He colored. "It's not –"

"My friends!" Thor rode up behind them, accompanied by Sif, "What joy is this?"

Volstagg proceeded to repeat the conversation.

They all laughed while Fandril protested that it wasn't what it sounded like. "Loki has not been himself, recently," he finished, hoping Thor, as his brother, might know more.

"Do not trouble yourself, my friend," Thor said, clapping a hand to his shoulder, "My brother is of a…" he trailed, searching for a word, "somewhat difficult disposition."

Sif snorted "More temperamental than many a maid," she said.

"More than you, maybe."

The others all laughed. And while he felt he ought not talk as he was, it was good to hear the others. They had known Loki far longer than he. They were right, he ought to relax. It was no more than a quarrel, and those were easily mended.

"I didn't mean to fight with him," he said, "he's – you've all – done more than needed, allowing my continued presence here after…after everything. I went only to tell him where it was we were going. He's told me many times I was free to go my own way, but I didn't want him hurt by it, should I be sought with him and not found,"

"My father will not seek you." Thor said. "It's been far longer than would be time for that."

"Ah,"

"Take my advice," the prince continued, "As his brother. Allow him his space. Should he come around, fine. Should he not," he shrugged his great shoulders and grinned back at the other two, "We're not such a bad company, are we?"

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **We've all seen the movies. We all knew it had to end eventually.**

 **No, I do not intend to imply that Fandril's been Loki's shadow for a number of years. Like Loki's said a bunch of times, it was mostly for show. Fandril's just trying to be polite. Also, I think he's using this outing as an excuse to talk to Loki, because Loki's moody about something.**

 **As far as Loki's concerned, I think he's feeling less and less like being friends with anybody, because all the issues he's had from the beginning are only getting worse. I think too, that Thor is – not only being more and more an ass as he grows up and loses that 'I'm little and cute and headstrong as hell, but I mean well' thing but also – claiming more and more of Fandril's time. Fandril has no intention of choosing between the brothers until Loki puts him up to it, but Loki can't handle the certainty he feels (however misplaced) that he won't be the one Fandril eventually chooses. You know – drive people away because then, when they leave it'll suck, but you'll at least feel like you're in control of it. He's probably resentful that he's the one who brought Fandril in, and now Thor's monopolizing him. And he's probably hurt that this is the first he's heard about Thor's trip. Thor loves him and I'm sure would have liked to involve him, but I think Loki asks too many questions and notices too much. Thor's not especially intuitive. He's every bit as messed up as Loki is (they each show** _ **perfectly**_ **one side of the daddy-issues-coin – male edition) and he's trying everything he can think of to drown that. Hence the bravado, the shouting, the temper tantrums. Also, he probably knows – on some unarticulated level – that he could be doing a lot more to make things better, both in his relationship with his father, and with his brother, and he doesn't want to admit it – probably because he's every bit as insecure as Loki is and every** _ **bit**_ **as afraid of failure. Loki's chased him out enough times. If he** _ **were**_ **to attempt articulating it, he'd probably say he was shoving Loki out of his personal life because it was about time he was as strong and self-sufficient as his little brother had always been.**

 **Awful how little these guys communicate with one another. Thor to Odin, Odin to Loki, Loki to Thor, the list goes on. My heart goes out to Frigga. Can you imagine being the only woman** _ **and**_ **the only functional one in that home?**

 **Back to Loki. He wants to be someone's favorite, and he feels like he's everybody's last pick. He – of course – doesn't do anything to fix that. He makes it worse. But that's not unusual, I guess. Also, he probably feels a little bit dis-placed by Fandril's inclusion into Thor's group.** _ **He**_ **used to be the sarcastic, funny one whose major strength in the group was diffusing the highly-aggressive ones. Now Fandril's doing that. And while Volstagg might not be territorial, Loki is.**

 **Obvious as that last statement is. Heh.**

 **Thoughts? Arguments? Opinions?**


	29. Chapter 29

"Loki," her hands wrung before her, "you should get out more," she knew she was fretting, but she couldn't help it. She was vexing him. "You spend too much of yourself here."

He slipped the book back onto the shelf, sparing her a quick glance, "It is as I like it, Mother," he smiled thinly.

She _knew_ she was trying him, could tell by the weary look in his eyes, "I worry about you, my son."

"I do well enough without it."

She looked at him reproachfully and he sighed. He came about the table and took her shoulders in his hands. He was nearly taller than she was now. It was hard to believe how he had grown. "Do not fret after me."

"You should spend more time among Thor and his friends."

Shook his head, releasing her easily, "They want none of me."

There was nothing of bitterness to it. A statement of fact.

She pressed around the table to follow him, "You cannot say that of your brother."

He laughed, "Yes I can."

"Thor wants nothing more than to spend time with you."

"When he remembers."

"Well then," she countered, "perhaps you ought to remind him."

"I lied." Loki said shortly, "He also wants to spend time with me when he wants someone to clean up after him," he counted on his fingers, "or when everyone else has lost patience with him. Then he seeks me out."

"Perhaps if you sought _him_ out on occasion, he might not."

Loki stood stiff for one moment, then he shrugged. "Be that as it may," his mouth tipped in a wry kind of smile, "I like it here. He doesn't."

Frigga traced her fingertips along the dusty edges of the shelf beside her. The libraries had always been a more or less abandoned place, with the most common volumes stored in the archives in higher, brighter rooms, but she wondered when these had begun to be so neglected.

"I remember a boy," she said absently, "who vanished into the libraries, not so much for love of them, as for a place of sanctuary.'

"Mm." Loki answered, "As do I. I _am_ trying to find something, Mother."

"You should come back with me. Your father has been home for some time now, and with Thor absent as often as he is he has none to speak to him."

"I think the attentions of the Queen are greatly to be preferred to those of the second son."

"Loki,"

"He will only ask me after Thor, as though he had me still in his boyhood confidence,"

A flicker of a frown between her brows, "Have you and Thor been fighting again?"

"We have varying interests, Mother."

"Well," she wished that he would tell her what it was that bothered him. "It would not hurt if you reminded your father that he has two sons."

He laughed, "I think he ought to recall that on his own."

She shook her head, "It's not like that, Loki,"

"We have nothing to speak about," he protested.

She felt the laughter flicker in her eyes, "Have you tried?"

"He knows nothing of my interests, and I hear nothing all day _but_ of his."

"Then you have everything to speak of. Come up and share your mind with him, as you did with me when you were a boy."

He closed his eyes, "Mother,"

"Please Loki," she said, "Or at least come and walk with me in my garden. Speak to _me_. Or in the least walk,"

"Fine."

"You've been here too long."

"I said I would come!" he slammed the book onto the shelf.

There was a startled moment during which Loki didn't turn.

Then he sighed, "I'm sorry, Mother. I'll be along in a moment."

Faltering, Frigga put a hand, feather soft, on his shoulder, "Are you all right?"

He jerked under her touch, "I'm fine!"

Then he stopped, pressed the bridge of his nose with one hand. "I'll be _along_ ," he said, "in a moment."

She put out her hand and touched the exposed skin on the back of his where he'd dropped it at his side, squeezed his wrist.

As she turned, opening her hand, his turned over and he traced his fingertips against hers.

"I'll be along," he repeated.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Frigga knows something's wrong and she wants to help him, but he doesn't want her help. And doesn't see how she** _ **could**_ **help. Having her swoop in will make it feel like he couldn't have done it on his own, and, having self-worth issues, being able to do it** _ **alone**_ **is paramount.**

 **Plus,** _ **really?**_ **Who among us wants our** _ **mom**_ **to come in and "solve" our social issues in** _ **middle**_ **school, much less, when we're grown-ass adults and should be able to take care of ourselves? Bad enough when Big-Brother swoops in.**

 **He's starting to accept that this is the way it is, and I think on some level he realizes how lame that is – to just roll over and give up like that. But I think he's tired of fighting and if he keeps thinking he** _ **could**_ **fight, then he'll keep thinking he** _ **ought**_ **to fight, and then he won't be able to leave himself alone until he** _ **does**_ **fight, and he doesn't think any of that will do any good, so why wear himself out? Frigga believes that he has the strength, and he doesn't want to be told that. Very similar to the situation I think the two of them are in in** _ **The Dark World**_ **, actually, when she comes to talk to him in prison.**

 **Thoughts? Opinions? Comments? I love what you got ;)**


	30. Chapter 30

Laegjarn's chest. Guarded by a she-demon and locked with nine locks. What could be the dreadful importance of such a bauble at this particular time, Loki did not understand. He was fairly certain the AllFather had only sent them on the quest to get Thor out from under his feet like a hassled mother sending her needy child to visit Cook for sweets. But he dared not say so in Thor's company. Thor would only laugh scornfully and Sif would glare at him.

There had been a time when Fandril would have listened, but the swashbuckling swordsman was more than the thief he'd been when Loki had brought him in. Now Fandril had risen, first in Thor's eyes, and then, very rapidly, in that of the AllFather. He was accepted into the Palace Guard, and word was that – young as he was – he might one day soon be made head of it. Volstagg was beyond useless. He didn't care _what_ they did, or why. In fact, Loki wasn't even sure why he came at all, unless it be to exchange good-natured banter with Fandril.

He himself had been sent as nursemaid to the others. Of course he would go along with his brother. But he knew that he was often the only thing that brought the others home. And Father knew it too.

So, here they were, in the far South-East of Vanaheim. Weeks of travel from the North-Western plains where dwelt his mother's people. They had visited there first, of course, in search of word about the keys. Rumor had it that three of the Nine keys to Laegjarn's chest were passed down through the Vanir royal families. Loki knew that originally they had been scattered one to each realm, but through conquest and intermarriage the balance had shifted. Not that anyone else would particularly care.

The chest itself was barely more than a myth, guarded by some she-demon in a place called Nornheim that was not on any map of any world Loki had ever seen.

But such arguments held water few places these days. He didn't even bother bringing it to the attention of his mother. She fretted after him enough as it was and he would not give her any new fodder for it.

She'd pressed the bauble into his hand as he bade her farewell, whispering that not all on the realm spoke the AllTongue.

"You may need this," she'd said.

A milky white sphere on a thin cord, he'd slipped it around his neck and she'd pressed his hand.

He wore it still, under his tunic, against his skin.

It was so hot here. He didn't know how any creature was expected to survive. Sweat glistened on Thor's bare shoulders in the golden shafts of sunlight as he rode down the path just ahead.

The three behind him were quiet, the heat too much even for their boisterous tongues.

The whole millennia-old forest they rode through was quiet.

"Wait," he sat suddenly straighter, "Thor,"

"What?" Thor turned about.

But even then it was too late.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

Interestingly enough, the milky-white gem on his chest translated his words only to those who did not speak the AllTongue. And they understood every word of his, without having any word he said be understood by his companions.

When Thor dug him in the ribs the third time, interrupting him and demanding to know what the half-naked Van, seemingly the leader of those who had ambushed them, said, Loki misspoke.

The Van chieftain, sitting behind the ring of his warriors was agitated. He frowned. Loki knew enough of these people. He knew that this was Jak-Eil, a Warlord from the mountains who resisted Asgard's rule and would win the low-land tribes to his will. He'd heard of him in the villages they'd passed through while the others had laughed and boasted of their previous feats. He should have known enough to expect Jak-Eil's men to find them here, but they'd been farther South than he had expected.

When Jak-Eil spoke for the first time, standing from his throne and gesturing for the man he'd had speaking for him to step aside, he'd demanded to know what the fair-one said.

Loki spoke only the truth. But, perhaps not a truth that was at its most prudent.

And when Jak-Eil grew angry, Thor dug his elbow into him again.

Loki _interpreted_ the Chieftain.

When Jak-Eil asked what Thor said that time, Loki smiled, embarrassed, and he declined to translate.

Jak-Eil spat and Thor shoved past Loki, fists ready.

"You want a fight?" the chieftain hissed. By the way the other's tensed, Loki knew he needn't bother. The Chieftain shouted behind him and a young man stepped forward, barred to the waist as were the rest. He was slight, but strong, in the way all the Van in this part of the realm were.

Jak-Eil went on to explain that this was his champion, and when Loki translated, Thor laughed.

"It's time Asgard showed you what a true champion is!"

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"You summoned us?" Odin stepped into the Observatory, followed by his queen.

"I did, AllFather." Heimdal bowed his head. His golden eyes never wavered from the expanse of Space that reeled out before him. "Thor and his companions have been captured by a Vana Warlord."

From behind, Frigga gripped his hand. Hers felt very cold.

He was quiet a long time, and neither Heimdal nor the queen spoke.

"My thanks, Heimdal." He finally said, "Keep them under your gaze, but Asgard will do no more."

"My King." Heimdal bowed his head.

"Odin," Frigga whispered, her hand ice upon his arm.

He pressed it, "They are children no longer," he said, "It is a fair lesson for both of them."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"Shh,"

Thor blinked at the feather touch of a cool hand, "M-mother?"

"No,"

He opened his eyes, blinking back the stabbing light.

A girl was there, her dark eyes focused as she wrung the water from a rag.

He was lying on the floor of a tent. Stiff and aching in ways he hadn't known in years.

"What happened?"

She dabbed at some hurt on his shoulder and he hissed.

"Shh,"

"I am the son of Odin and I demand to know where I am and what has happened to –"

She clapped a hand over his mouth, "Be still or we will both be killed. I am not supposed to be here."

Slowly, she removed her hand.

"Then," he asked, much lower, "Why are you here?"

For a long moment she did not answer, then, very softly, "I have seen enough of Death."

There was a clatter on the far side of the flap and all in a moment, she was gone as though she'd never been. Thor blinked at the place. Then he laid back with his hand over his eyes to soothe the throbbing ache behind them.

An image of the dark girl presented itself in his mind.

She was very beautiful.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

The flap swung back in a move that might have been no more than the wind, but Hogan knew better. "Mina," he said.

"Hogan," she materialized from nowhere, dropping to her knees, cupping his face in her hands. "You're hurt!"

His lip tugged up on one side, "I won," he said, "So there is no dishonor."

Though she shook her head, she smiled. "There is more to this than I understand, Hogan."

"What more? Your father demands the just price."

"They did not come for harm," she whispered, her dark eyes intense. "The dark one, he did not speak truth."

"How do you know this?"

Mina laughed, "I am _Visendakona_ , as my mother was before me and my daughter," she flicked her eyes shyly at him, "after. I speak all tongues."

He was smiling fondly at her, "Do you know that I love you?"

"Of course I do," she flicked long-lashed eyes at him, "But my father cannot be allowed to do this thing."

"Perhaps for the elder and the others with them, but for the younger it is gravely dishonorable –"

She threw her hands in the air, "You men and your _honor_! Might there not be honor in manipulation? You do not call me dishonorable for my ways!"

"You are _Visenda_ ," he smiled, "And you are woman, besides."

She scoffed, but she took the hand he held out to her, lacing her fingers through his, "My father has slain many," she murmured, "he has slain your people,"

"I long ago forgave you that,"

"It was not mine to be forgiven."

His dark eyes laughed at her.

"Hogan, you _must_ listen to me!" she gripped his hands, "For the love you bear me, you _must_ do this thing. My father has slain your people, as he slew my mother's tribe. We cannot let him slay these travelers. They have come with no harm!"

"Only that they are of Asgard," Hogan said darkly.

"What is that to us?"

Hogan did not answer.

"Hogan," she pressed, "My father will bring more death than they ever could."

"Mina," Hogan looked directly into her little peering face, "He will slay us both if we interfere,"

"He will never hurt me," she said, "And you are strong. We always knew one day we would find a way from him. That time is now."

"You know this?"

"I know this."

He bent forward then, and kissed her and when they drew apart she whispered, "Come with me, they will not listen to me alone."

"They know not our language,"

A smile hovered around her mouth, "They will now," she said. "As long as you would be understood by them, they will know your tongue."

"You did that?"

She smiled, "I am _Visenda_. Come," she held out her hand, "We're losing time."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"Jak-Eil will kill you at dawn."

Volstagg swore under his breath.

Fandril looked first to the Van who had so recently defeated Thor, then to Loki. He rubbed at the chaffed places on his wrists, so recently released from their charmed bindings.

Loki said nothing. He knelt on the earthen floor of the tent as their rescuer did, watching the Van levelly.

"Who is she?" he asked.

"Jak-Eil is my father," a girl appeared in the doorway beside the kneel Van.

Fandril jolted.

Loki looked her up and down, "Your father?"

"You have a woman with you," she said, "a warrior?"

"We do."

"I will bring her."

She and the Van looked at each other a long moment, then she vanished and the Van was watching them very levelly.

"You," Volstagg stammered, tapping the prince on his shoulder, "You can't do that, can you?"

"No." Loki failed to see the humor. Not for a moment did he take his eyes from the Van, "Where is my brother?"

"He will come."

"Why are you doing this?"

"I will not play you false." Hogan said. "I bear no love for Jak-Eil,"

"Only his daughter," Fandril muttered.

Volstagg chuckled.

Neither Hogan nor Loki paid either any attention.

"My reasons are my own."

They stared at each other very levelly until Fandril was certain the tension between them would grow thick enough to seen.

"He will accept no bribe," the Van broke the silence, "no ransom."

The flap of the tent moved and Thor was there. "Then why are you helping us?" he asked.

"How did you –" Fandril gaped.

"I was…led here." He seemed troubled.

Loki was watching him very intently.

Hogan seemed unsurprised. But Fandril was beginning to wonder if it was an emotion the Van was even capable of. "If Jak-Eil kills you," he said, "there will be war."

"More than that," Thor said, "My father will massacre the entire realm in vengeance."

"I don't know if he can do that."

They all looked at Loki.

Thor whirled on him, "What did you say?"

"You yourself saw how easily you were beaten, Brother," Loki gestured loosely to the Van. "Did it occur to you that their mastery might carry farther?"

"Because you are my brother," Thor growled, "I will not strike you."

"You really think you're capable of that now?"

"How _dare_ –"

"Is that what he wants?" Volstagg interrupted incredulously, "War with Asgard?" he was looking distractedly from Hogan to the others of the group and back, "You are a strong force, but against…"

"Jak-Eil wants all of Vanaheim under his rule," Loki said.

There was a stunned silence, then, "He was going to win it," Loki said lowly, "bit by bit, through skirmish and raid, wear them down. But if he can unite the tribes under threat of a single enemy, how many of them, truly, do you think will choose to side with us?"

Hogan gave a single, low nod. "Few will do so," he said. "Pride runs high in my people. A pride that may yet bring us to ruin."

Fandril was still blinking at Loki, "How long have _you_ known this?"

" _Some of us_ ," Loki snapped, " _listen_ and _watch_ at the way stops in foreign lands."

Mina appeared in the center of the room with Sif beside her.

Sif blinked startledly, starring around her. "-How?"

"Our time runs short," Mina said, "already the men are waking."

Thor straightened, "We will come."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"Follow her exactly," Hogan breathed through the fog, "There's only one safe path through the marshes."

"Are you sure this is a marsh?" Volstagg asked.

The ground _did_ seem firm all about them, Fandril thought.

Hogan stooped and, plucking a stone from the ground, he cast it and the thing was swallowed by the grass.

"All right, then." Volstagg said, "Follow her exactly."

"Any special reason _why_ this had to be the way?" Fandril edged closer.

"Because that's the way your Bifrost works," Hogan said.

"But I don't understand," Fandril pressed, following Volstagg into the marsh. "Won't the Bifrost send all your people running directly this way?"

"Of course," Hogan came behind him, bringing up the rear.

"And the likelihood of _your_ survival in that situation doesn't bother you in the slightest."

"No."

"All because you took a fancy to us?"

"Jak-Eil must be stopped. He has been the cause of enough Death."

"All right," Fandril allowed, "Assuming you _do_ survive, then. You'll have a bloodthirsty warlord after you for the rest of your blissfully short lives."

"We will live honorably. And we will live as fugitives."

"Suit yourself."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

The attack came sooner than they'd expected, with arrows cutting down like hail out of the fog.

Hogan was shot.

Mina crouched with his head on her knees.

There were shouts all around them, and suddenly, dark bodies flying out of the mist, flailing weapons.

"HEIMDAL!"

Blood trickled from the corner of Hogan's mouth and Thor did not know if the Van was alive or dead.

Mina looked up at him with tears streaming from those beautiful, dark eyes.  
"Take him," she said, "Take him with you and go. I cannot heal him here, but _you_ can. I will drive them off."

"You-"

" _GO!_ " She roared, surging to her feet, eyes blazing, and she was easily twice the size she had been. She burst into a thousand white birds, screaming and diving.

"There!" Loki shouted and, swinging Hogan up in his arms, Thor followed his brother to the place Mina had indicated, and no sooner had they all reached it –

"HEIMDAL!"

– then the Bifrost roared to life, snatching them up out of the syrupy fog and into the golden light of the Observatory.

"We have to get him to the Healers," Thor strode past the Watchman.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

Thor dreamt many nights of the beautiful girl who had burst into a thousand birds, always waking to the sight of her tear-darkened face.

After three days, Hogan was on his feet again.

"You are looking better," Thor told him.

Hogan's face remained impassive, "You saved my life," he said.

"And when you are fully healed my Father has ordered that you are not to be prevented from returning to your people, with our protection."

"With all respect," Hogan came up beside him on the wall over-looking the city, "I cannot."

Thor looked at him.

"You saved my life," he said, "I owe you a debt I cannot repay."

"And you needn't."

Hogan looked at him very levelly, "To ignore such a thing would be grave dishonor," he said.

Both were silent a long time, then, Thor turned to him, "So, you'll stay then?"

Hogan gave a deep nod.

"I will stay."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Last of my head-canon spin-offs.**

 **Laegjarn's chest was a chest in the mythology, locked with nine locks. The keys were guarded by Sinmora, the mate of Surt – the fire demon from Muspelheim who helps to start life and also is prophesied to end the worlds at Ragnarok. In the chest, was the sword Laeveteinn** _ **.**_ **This was a blade that was rumored to have been made** _ **by**_ **Loki, while Loki was in Muspelheim – which was supposedly a Realm the gods could not go to. Perhaps because he has Giant ancestry he had a pass? But in the myths that same ancestry should have stopped him from using the Bifrost – it was** _ **made**_ **to prevent Giants from using it – and he's shown very prominently as using it multiple times. Oh well. 'Laeveteinn' means 'wounding-wand', which implies that the sword had some magical notation.**

 **Thanks for sitting through the mythology lecture. I was just tickled by the irony and wanted to share that.**

 **I told you the Asiatic side of Vanaheim would come out eventually. This is it!**

 **The Nornheim bit was an impulse, since Nornheim isn't one of the Nine Realms, and – apparently – had some major Odinson action.**

 **Yes, the translation-charm was awkward, but I only belatedly recalled the existence of All-Tongue as a language, and – again – the plotting was why this was never going to be a fic of its own.**

 **Jak-Eil (Jack-EEL) is all mine. Some kind of Ghengis Khan Warlord with a pretty daughter.**

 **And yes, Thor's a little swoony over Mina. (MEE-na)**

 **Hogan and Mina are not married. She's not pregnant. When she alludes to a daughter, she means 'one day when the world is better and we're married'.**

 **I just saw** _ **The Last Samurai**_ **– which is an amazing movie – but they talk a lot about honor, and that rubbed off on this. I also wanted to have some reason why Hogan doesn't like Loki from the beginning. Out of everybody in Thor's group, I see Hogan as being the least friendly toward him. Or maybe he just doesn't** _ **act**_ **friendly towards anybody, even once he does grow to respect them, and Loki – much like the situation with Odin – mis-reads the facial apathy as dislike and doesn't try. I think that Loki's afraid enough of failure (because of the self-worth issues) that – once he sees something as having little chance of success, he decides not to try it.**

 **And I like the idea that Thor brought Hogan into the group because he'd been badly beaten by Hogan once – and that that won from him a tremendous amount of respect. I don't think Thor gets beaten often. Whether from people being afraid of his sulking after he is beaten, or because he's just so damn strong. I think he'd like to be beaten – once. And he'd** _ **never**_ **admit it.**

' **Visendakona' is a word that the Vikings used for some kind of female magician/fortune-teller. I used it for my own ends. And yes, she kissed Hogan to apply her spell. Hussy. -lol**

 **I don't know that Loki had any kind of actual plan when he got Thor into that fight with Hogan. Probably he was just pissed off in general, and more so because Thor was bugging him while he was trying to work. He certainly did not think Thor would be beaten and/or that they would be imprisoned/killed. He now has significant doubts as to Asgard's supremacy among the Realms.**

 **Maybe the same thing happened in** _ **Thor**_ **when he "talked Thor into" going to Jotunheim.**

 **I think Loki was every bit as impulsive as Thor. I just think he was more quick-footed and got** _ **himself**_ **out of trouble more often, or bore the consequences more quietly. Probably part of that 'insecurity-makes-me-have-to-do-everything-myself-even-if-it-kills-me' complex. Also, he'd feel like an idiot for not seeing that whatever dumb thing he just did was** _ **that**_ **stupid and he'd be beating himself up enough for everybody and he'd never expect anybody to understand.**

 **In** _ **The Dark World**_ **when Thor tells Hogan he should stay with his own people, Hogan gets really excited, and before that, he was always glum. I always thought it was about a girl he'd left behind. I made up that whole story to explain how.**

 **Questions? Thoughts? Comments? Let me know.**


	31. Chapter 31

"Thor," he was shaking and he didn't know _why_ he was doing this. He _knew_ he'd regret it in the morning, "Thor, are you awake?"

Loki touched his shoulder and Thor made some kind of muffled sound against his pillow.

Loki swallowed thickly.

The war had been over for months now. He ought to have recovered.

He'd thought, when Thor was wounded, nearly dying from a poisoned gash in his leg, that that was as bad as it would be. The frantic realization that he might lose his brother. Remembered waking him from fevered dreams, soothing him back to sleep. And all the time the gnawing fear that he might never _really_ wake up.

The Vana had wanted information at the end of things when everyone was certain they would lose. They'd begun making raids on the camp and taking captives, and someone had recognized him.

It was only natural that they had wanted what he had known.

His body had healed. Every time, he would start a light and he would look over his wounds and, every time, all that remained of them were thin scars. They were healed.

But still he would wake in the night, sure it was all happening again.

Mother knew. She watched him with her eyes sad and certain and she would come up on him, touch his hand, tell him he could come to her at any hour.

But she didn't understand that he couldn't.

He _couldn't_.

He could come to her with all his old fears and pains and heartbreaks. But this was different. While she had been a shield maid, she was so no longer. And this was stuff of fire and blood and the sword. And while he understood how he hurt her, shutting her out, there was something about it that stopped him from doing anything else. And she had to understand. He knew she had to.

Norns, if he didn't love her, he would tell her everything. But he couldn't.

Something was in his throat, stopping his breath, "Thor –"

"Loki wha –" Thor was turning over and Loki wished he hadn't come. Thor pushed himself up, "What's wrong?"

Abruptly, he couldn't do this. "Nothing," he nearly stumbled over his own feet as he backed a step. Stilled so he wouldn't fall. His face flushed hot.

Thor gave a cough of a laugh, groggy with sleep, "Then what're you waking me for?" he put out a hand to start the light.

"No," Loki shot out a hand, "Brother, don't," his heart was racing up high in his chest and he could swear they had to hear it in the streets below. He couldn't bear for Thor to see him like this. He ought not to have come. He ought never to have come. Not even in the worst moments of battle had it been like this. It hurt him and he sank down, sure he would fall.

But Thor didn't touch the light. "Loki," he rubbed at his eyes, "what's the matter?"

Perhaps he was dying. He didn't know. This happened sometimes now. Twice it had happened during the day and both times he'd fled, feeling the stares of the people on the back of his neck and he'd known he was a coward. Cold sweat covered his skin and he straightened. Pushing the hair that stuck off of his forehead, he laughed bitterly, "I don't know."

"You don't –" Thor was waking more completely, shaking his head like he meant to clear it.

Loki doubled over the quick flash of pain, pushed it away. Chided himself for a fool. It's nothing. It's nothing. It's _nothing._ You're _safe_.

"Nothing."

"Loki, what's going on?"

"It's _nothing_." Nervous knives slid to and fro inside his veins and he was so afraid that he thought he might be sick. Afraid for no reason, not even a dream. His breath came _too fast._ And once, something told him, once, he would have told Thor. Once, it would have been different. But not now. Now he needed _out_. He needed – "Go back to sleep."

The cool of the floor was sliding away under his feet.

Movement, then the sharp thrust of cold air in his lungs and he was out in the dark, his weight on arms that shook for weariness, braced on the balcony's edge.

His knees gave and he sunk to the tiled floor, resting his head on the balcony. If only he could sleep here. If only he could _sleep_ …

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **When I was writing this, I wrote all the chapters largely out of order, and the edition of the "spin-off chapters" was one of the last things I decided upon. As it is, how I imagine it is that a war was started with Vanaheim after Thor and Loki's involvement in the last chapter. Thor insisted that they go to offer aid to Hogan's people because they owed their lives to his sacrifice – and probably having something to do with Mina – and when Odin said no, Thor went anyway.**

 **When I wrote this, none of that was in my head. I wanted to show Loki, as an adult, with a very real problem, and show how he feels like he** _ **can't**_ **go to his mom, and how he tries to go to Thor, but his pride gets in the way of that, too. Emphasize the feeling of being 'on his own' that he has from needing to do everything by himself to make it feel like it matters.**

 **Anyways…**

 **Oh, and I like the idea that Thro had gone off to do ridiculous things their father had forbidden in the past. That way, Loki's** _ **obvious**_ **surprise/horror when Odin banishes him after Jotunheim made more sense.**

 **Thoughts? Comments? Arguments?**


	32. Chapter 32

"Still," Thor groused, the anger going out of his words, "It wasn't sporting of him."

"'It wasn't' –" Loki sputtered, "You know," he decided, "I don't even know why I try to argue with you," he pressed the hair back from his forehead, his skin hot to the touch, "You're completely beyond reason!"

Thor looked startled. "I can be very reasonable!" he scowled.

"Thor," Loki almost laughed, "you tried to _drink_ the _ocean_. You _do_ recall that?"

"Loki, that was _one_ time!"

"You tried to drink the ocean! Once is all it takes!"

"And it was some time ago," he sulked.

"Oh yes," Loki folded his arms, "And that argument bears weight because you've shown such a _marked_ development of judgement since."

" _You_ tried to race Wildfire!"

"But I didn't challenge him to _two more_ races afterward to prove it!"

Thor laughed then, putting his heavy arm across Loki's shoulder, "Let's not argue any longer, Brother. Come along with me,"

"I have _work_ here, Thor," he slipped out from under him, "You know, tasks that _have_ to be done."

"I know what work is!"

"I can tell."

"One has to know one's enemy in order to tactfully evade him!"

Loki gave up. He sat on one of the benches with his forehead propped in one hand.

Thor was grinning at him like he had when he was a little boy.

There was a bitter taste on the back of his tongue.

Loki gave half a laugh, "At least you learned _something_ ," he allowed.

"You're not the only one who can out-smart the rules."

"I'm also _not_ the crown prince."

"That's why!" Thor grinned, "None dare cross me twice!"

Loki looked at him.

"What!"

"Are you ever going to grow up?"

Thor sighed, "Brother, come with us! Sif and the Warriors Three have almost forgotten the look of your face!"

Loki snorted, "Is _that_ what they're calling themselves now?" he laughed.

"Loki, you're changing the subject,"

"Subtle."

" _Loki_ ,"

"Fine." He put both hands on his knees.

Thor blinked at him. "Just…just like that? Fine?"

"Fine. Yes. I'm coming." Loki stood, "Let's go."

"That's the spirit!" Thor shot up behind him, "For the glory of Asgard!"

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"So," Loki sat back in his chair, surveying the others through the haze of the drink coupled with weariness and the smoke that floated on the air in this way-stop. It had been a long and glorious few days and he wasn't sure at all what he thought about it. Not that it mattered overmuch just now. The dark pressed up against the dirty glass of the windows and made the place feel very small and comfortable. "The 'Warriors Three', eh?"

"Oh don't start that again," Fandril protested, shoving his hair back from his face. He'd had far more than he needed by way of drink and he was out of sorts. His face was still flushed in the place where the girl had slapped him.

Hogan took a long breath and rose. His face was an utter blank. Loki couldn't tell if he was stung by the teasing or not. And he'd quite given up trying to discern that.

"Where are you going?" Thor frowned.

The firelight flickered strangely through the honey-colored drink in the glass of the mug they'd given him. Loki shook his head as he realized he'd been starring at it.

"It has been a long road." Hogan said stiffly, in his way, "I would retire."

"Norn-speed my friend," Volstagg raised a lazy hand like a wave. He was resting his face heavily on his other fist.

Giving a stiff little bow, Hogan turned and was gone.

Loki surveyed the table. Then he lifted his own drink, "And now the 'Warriors Two' remain."

"Loki," Volstagg sighed.

Thor snorted into his cup.

Fandril snored.

"Well," Loki watched him, "The 'Warrior One-and-a-Half, then."

Thor laughed outright.

Volstagg groaned good-naturedly, pushing himself straight. The chair squealed in protest. "We should be getting to bed," he said, "It's been a long day for all of us."

"I'll split you in two," Fandril murmured in his sleep.

Loki eyed him, "It's not that serious," he said, coolly, "You're already asleep."

Volstagg chuckled, "It's an intriguing thought. We could be the 'Warriors Two and Two-Halves," he heaved himself up out of the chair.

Thor chuckled, "That's not a thing."

"You sure?" Loki laughed at him.

"Nope," Thor shook his great golden head, "Not a thing."

"You two need to get to bed."

Thor snorted, "Yes Mum."

"Fine," Volstagg lifted Fandril to his shoulder as though he were no more than a boy, "Stay up and see how 'Warriors Three' escort you home tomorrow." He jerked his burden to a more comfortable place on his shoulder and instead of waking as Loki rather expected, Fandril only groaned and shifted to put an arm up about Volstagg's neck.

"Well," Loki drained his glass, "in that case,"

Thor laughed.

"Goodnight, my princes."

A long pause without sound beyond the murmur of the way-keeper and his wife speaking in the next room and the crackling of the fire. Then Loki shook himself, "We should be getting on," he said.

"I'll be along in a moment," Thor said distractedly. He was watching the fire. The mug ignored between his hands.

Loki watched him a long moment.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"Wrong?" Thor smiled at him, but there was something about the look that Loki did not trust, "No, nothing."

Loki gave half a laugh, resting forward on his elbows, "Would you tell me if there was?"

"Of course."

But Thor wasn't looking at him anymore and the words tasted like a lie.

"Fine," he said. "I'm going. Don't be up much longer or you're going to make your glorious return home on Volstagg's shoulder."

Thor chuckled, "I'll be along."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **This one is only to illustrate that things aren't** _ **always**_ **bad between the two of them as adults. This fic is a story of fragments to be pressed together to create the impression of a whole. While the arc is spiraling down, not every day would feel like that. That's what this is.**

 **Aaaand the second part wasn't supposed to happen. This should officially be the last thing I wrote for this. I thought (again) that this fic was done when my sister and I were trying to think up a name for the group of friends we typically hang out with and started comparing the ones from the movies (we decided the Howling Commandoes was the best). I said, "Imagine how much fun Loki must have made of them when they started going by the 'Warriors Three'" aaaaand here we are.**

 **I** _ **should**_ **have been working on the sequel.**

 **To me it reads like a deleted scene, because it's just a rehashing of a plot point I've already expounded in chapter 25, namely, Thor has something on his mind and doesn't want to/know how to express it, and Loki knows and feels shut out, because for once he has no way to solve Thor's problem, he wants to help his brother, and he feels incapable.**

 **Also, you know, it was funny. Didn't think you'd mind ;)**

 **In character? Comments? Thoughts?**


	33. Chapter 33

"Father, they've far out-stripped the advancements you –"

"Silence, _Boy_!" Odin shouted.

Loki fell back.

"I!" Odin struck his chest with one fist, "am the AllFather! I see all in the Nine Realms from my throne and you _think_ you can lecture _me_ on the advancement of the Realms?"

"But Father, I've _been_ there!" Loki pressed, "I've _seen_ what they've managed in just a very few years."

Odin scoffed

"We call ourselves the highest of the Realms and _we_ haven't made that kind of progress in _your_ lifetime! Forget how short their lives are –"

"Torn by starvation and slaughter." Odin interrupted him, his blue eye flashing, "Have _you_ , in your _infinite_ experience, seen that? Have you _seen_ what they do with their 'advancements'?"

"Father," Loki shook his head, "All I say is that they _could_ pose a threat –"

"To themselves only."

"They've evolved from inarticulate cave-creatures to a highly articulate people in less than a lifetime, Father! Have you even _looked_ in the past century?"

"This is the last I want to hear about this Loki!"

"Then _do_ something about it!"

Odin fell silent a long moment. Long enough for Loki to know what it was he had said and to know with a cold, sinking certainty that it was the wrong thing.

"Father,"

"Asgard withdrew itself from the history of _that_ Realm when I was but a youth," he said finally.

He said it musingly and Loki's face flashed uncertainly blank.

"It is time perhaps we follow our Realm's example." He fixed his one eye on his son, "Loki,"

"No," he said, "Father –"

Odin roared and Loki fell back a pace.

"By my order, Loki Odinson, you will not leave this Realm without my express command. Do you understand me?"

"Father –"

" _Do you understand me?_ "

Loki faltered, then he straightened, his eyes hard as he focused them on his father. "Yes," he said, "Sir."

"See that I do not hear otherwise."

He cut a mock salute, turned sharply about and left.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"Ah! There you are, Brother!" Thor exclaimed, "I don't know why I bother seeking you anywhere else these days!"

"I hope you have good reason for interrupting me _again_."

"Come now, Brother, am I so tiresome to you?"

"Yes." Loki shut the book and shifted out of the window, so that he was sitting on the sill with his elbows on his knees. He spread his hands, "What can I do for you?"

Thor laughed, "I want you to join me and the Warriors Three," he clapped a hand to Loki's shoulder, "We're going down to Midgard."

"Ah," Loki said, "No."

"Why _not_?"

"Why are you going?"

"It's always entertaining," Thor laughed. "And I find myself in want of amusement. Why will you not join us, Brother? You've always loved Midgard."

"I've lost interest."

Thor's brows rose. Then he shrugged.

"You're sure you won't come?"

"Quite."

Thor clasped his shoulder briefly, turning away, "Let your books know I wish them well," he laughed.

Loki didn't bother to answer, and a moment later he heard the dull thud of the door closing behind him. He moved back into his old place with his back up against the edge of the window and his right foot in its far corner, the book balanced on his knee.

He tried to read, but gave it up when he realized he'd re-read the same paragraph seven times and still hadn't the barest notion of what it communicated. Sighing, he leaned his head back against the wood and looked out at the sharp blue of the daytime sky.

Twice in as many days. He wondered what it was Thor truly wanted. It wasn't Thor's custom to waste his time like that.

Waste his time. A sarcastic part of him wanted to laugh, but he didn't. He remembered what it had been like, when they were boys. It was sentimental foolishness to wish for the past – the prerogative of doddering old men.

He followed the beam of light to the floor and flicked his hand through it, watching the shadow it cast. He turned his hand and made a new shadow, a shadow that moved and walked all of its own, playing to his whims, fluttering its wings and flying free of the sun's light until he would have lost it, had he not been moving it himself. He cast a bloom of flame to light its wings and watched it glow in the darkened corner. Then he breathed a laugh. Flame, walking free in a library.

He turned his hand, quashing the castling and turned back to the window.

There had to be something better he could be doing with himself. He was hanging in some kind of suspended animation and he hated it. Unfolding himself sharply from the window sill he thrust the book onto its shelf.

If he couldn't follow Thor off-Realm, he'd find someway else to amuse himself.

And Father didn't have to like it.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Okay, remember the doubts Loki was having about how far above the other realms Asgard might be? Well, he's been scouting around, and he's been on Earth. Not sure where Earth is developmentally, but it's enough to alarm him after the last time he was there.**

 **Odin doesn't want to hear it. Admitting that Asgard isn't the best would admit that there's room for improvement, room for change. Both change and improvement imply an idea of mortality, and Odin – at this time – has very much embraced the idea of 'The Realm Eternal'. Possibly because of some ineptitude-complex granted him by** _ **his**_ **father (daddy-issues tend to be passed hereditarily). To admit that Loki might be right would be to admit that this protective shell he's built about himself – the idea that he's led the realm to perfection, that there's no more left to do, that he can** _ **rest**_ **– is a lie. And nobody likes to do that.**

 **Funny how similar Odin and Loki** _ **might**_ **actually be…**

 **Loki's afraid that Asgard is going to be attacked and that Asgard is going to be completely destroyed because everybody refuses to allow for the fact that they might no longer be perfect.**

 **Odin's punishment for his interference is something I thought appropriate to the arc. When Loki and Odin have** _ **that**_ **conversation in the Vault in** _ **Thor**_ **, Loki uses the words 'locked up'. He feels trapped there. Like most people, I think he's being more honest than not when he's** _ **that**_ **upset. Keep in mind also, that most of the truths thus expressed are being shown in caricature, rather than as they really are.**

 **But** _ **I**_ **think it's in character.**

 **The next part, the one with Thor, was not supposed to happen, but once it had, I liked it enough to let it live. Meant only to emphasize that Thor means well, but he's a bit clueless and spoiled – to heighten the contract between them.**

 **Also, that Loki's really beginning to show that whole 'screw you guys, I do what I want' thing.**

 **Let me know what you think ;)**


	34. Chapter 34

"Normally," the man's eyes were narrowed, "This would be the prerogative of the eldest son."

Loki wasn't entirely sure where the balance point was, among the Eastern Vana, between normalcy and suspicion. 'Narrowed eyes' was hardly a distinguishing feature. Hogan would know. But, being _one_ of the Eastern Vana, and considered a traitor by many of his people, he was not to be sent.

Loki smiled thinly. "Undoubtedly," he said, "However, these are hardly normal circumstances, are they Commander."

The man watched him a long, silent moment, during which neither face betrayed so much as the shadow of thought or emotion. Then the Vana Commander gave a sharp nod, barked some order to his men and turned on his heel. An uplifted arm bade Loki follow.

"And what would it be keeps the Prince, your brother, from his place?"

It was a diplomatic mission at a time when peace was hardly stable. Again. That alone made it a place unfit. Thor's notion of diplomacy was unorthodox at best. Thor would be at home, feasting, regaling the hall again and again with tales of his bravery and splendor. Of all the myriad foes he had slain.

To do as was his brother's responsibility, and only because the oaf was so unfit for it or for anything _else_ beyond wreaking havoc, kept a savage heat in his belly. But Loki would show none of that. This was neither the place, nor the time, which thought – incidentally – was what set him apart as the one capable of the job at hand.

"My brother is out of sorts at this time," he said, smoothly, "I can only hope the Council understands."

"The Council speaks as it decides." The man answered. "Nothing more and nothing less. And none at all of what it does not hear. Tell me of these 'Peace Talks' you would have with our leaders. Has Asgard considered our proposals?"

A soft laugh that barely left his throat, "Has Vanaheim considered ours?"

"It is not my place to speak the decrees of our Council."

"And not mine to tell the decrees of my father to any save the Council, Commander. Lead on."

 **TLTLTLTLTTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

"How go the Peace Talks'?" Frigga drew up beside him.

Odin glanced at her where she stood against the balcony, looking down at the night-lit city. He followed her gaze, "They go well. Loki does well. Better than I had expected of him."

Her hand slipped about his on the barrier. She smiled softly out at the city. "Does he know it?"

"He knows his skill."

She pressed his hand, "That's not what I asked."

"Why else would I continue to send him?"

"He is your son," she said, "He is bound to do as you bid him, and he shows some skill. Perhaps you send him only out of convenience."

"Such is not my way and you know this." Odin protested. "Why must you always turn the conversation?"

"I'm sorry, Darling," she smiled wearily at him. The light from the city below caressed her face and he swore she was as beautiful as that day all those centuries ago when she had first caught his eye. Fierce and strong in her own right, a proper mate for a king. He thought that Thor ought to pay more mind to the Lady in his company. Lady Sif. She paid plenty of mind to him.

Perhaps she could have some good effect on the fool boy. Norns knew he needed one to rule him whose rule he would not scorn.

"It's only that he's been much on my mind of late."

His mind had been wandering again. Odin was not sure for a moment of whom she spoke.

"Why is that?" he asked.

"He is unhappy," she said.

"And what shall I do about that, my queen?"

"I don't know," she bent her head, "He pushes me away." She looked out over the city. "We ought to tell him."

"When you believe already that he is unhappy? Such would not be wise."

"He is grown, Odin. We always said –"

"When he was ready, Frigga," he pressed her hand, "Not when he was grown."

"When _shall_ he be ready?"

"Perhaps he won't."

"Odin,"

"How would knowledge of his true blood aid him?"

"There ought not be secrets in a family, Odin. How if I had hidden such things from you?"

"You are my wife," he countered, "and owe me disclosure. We owe no such to our sons. I will have no more talk of it."

"Odin," she drew back.

"I will talk no more of it!" he snapped.

Weariness plagued him. It itched at the back of his eyes like a dying wound. He pressed his brow with one hand.

He felt her fingers trace across the back of his shoulder.

"Are you well?"

"I am weary," he straightened, "Nothing more. Join the people, Frigga. I would rest a while."

 **TLTLTLTLTTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **This was also written before the Hogan chapter. Again, I wanted to emphasize the differences between Thor and Loki, and show Loki as understanding himself as being resentful towards Thor. I also wanted to communicate that Odin's proud of him. Odin just doesn't communicate worth snot.**

 **OOO. As far as the 'tremulous peace with Vanaheim' thing goes. Odin wigs out about war with Jotunheim in 'Thor' like they haven't seen war in millennia. Probably since the 'last great war with Jotunheim'. But, I think Thor and Loki have to have seen war. My theory - which I think I was unclear on earlier - is that Asgard offered aid to Vanaheim, but the realms were never officially at war with one another.**

 **Interestingly, that gold crescent on Loki's chest looks an awful lot like a gorgot, which is a mark of some kind of martial officer. Very unclear on the details. Perhaps he did something in this war that won him that place?**

 **Then again, it didn't have to be this war. It could be any war/skirmish, depending on who was paying attention.**

 **Then again - again - it might just be that he was royal and it was a matter of course. But I like seeing him as a badass ;)**

 **Also, it might have been nothing. Could have just been a neat touch the costume department added for kicks.**

 **In character? Thoughts? Comments?**


	35. Chapter 35

His body thrummed with energy and with heat, hands opening and closing at his sides.

There were times that he swore he hated his brother.

The space about him expanded as he stepped past the guards and into the Vault and his breath came easier. The vast, empty corners of the place were simple and dark. Soft against his agitated senses. Cooler than much of the palace, being so far below it.

He inhaled until his lungs hurt, then let his breath out.

It was a quarrel. Nothing more, and nothing unusual at that.

Why he should expect more of the oaf at _this_ point was beyond him.

Something a little ways away dragged at his senses like ghostly fingers on the back of his neck.

The distraction was a welcome one, and Loki straightened from the pillar he'd leaned on. He frowned. He'd felt this before, but differently. When he'd found that path to Nidavellir and after the paths to Nifleheim and Alfheim he'd felt the same thing.

He'd teased Thor about that first path he'd found for weeks and finally word had gotten to Father and that had been the end of that. Father hadn't done much about it, had felt that the retribution the Dwarves had wrought on him serious enough. He hadn't spoken about the others, and when Thor asked he only smiled and teased him about some other thing which Thor would spring to defend. Easy enough.

But within the walls of the palace?

Loki followed the hovering, humming feeling like a bloodhound on a scent, out of the Vault itself and down an abandoned corridor until he stopped abruptly as though brought face to face with a wall – though for all to see, there was naught before him but air.

Every other time, it had been within a cave. He'd thought at least this might lead him farther, perhaps to some deeper cellar, though the portal would have to be exceptionally strong to have the pull it did from that distance. Odd that he'd never noticed this one before. But, then, he spent little time in this wing of the palace.

Tentatively, he put one hand, palm-up, against the barrier. It was a moment only before he snatched it back.

The screen spoke of ice. Of dark. Of cold. Jotunheim.

A portal. Within the very palace of Asgard. And to Jotunheim.

There was nothing to be done about it, portals were where they were, if there was a way to create or destroy them, the knowledge was undocumented and Loki had yet to discover it.

Within him, he shuddered. Curiosity quickened in his blood.

Jotunheim.

It was forbidden.

Forbidden to him to leave the Realm without order – an order that had been for decades and was largely ignored, an order that was scarcely ever enforced. But it was forbidden to all to venture to Jotunheim. Had been since the Great War at the time of his own birth.

Dropping his hand, Loki shook his head and strode through the place, leaving the screen untouched as he pressed through it.

It dragged at his senses as he went to the end of the long passage.

Should Heimdal be watching, it would not pay to be caught gaping.

Few knew of his ability to locate the portals, Father had only punished him once for leaving, and that once because he'd admitted it to Thor. He recalled the first time. He'd known of the portal for a good while, fearful of its rumored danger, unsure of his own senses. In a rush he'd cast caution aside. Traversing the paths was simpler than he'd imagined it could be. He had come and gone along his paths quite freely since, especially in the past few years. He'd brought much past the Gatekeeper.

He felt that Heimdal was not as good a Guardian as his father claimed.

There was always the story of how Laufey smuggled an _army_ past him and into Midgard.

If _Laufey_ – of all _possible_ creatures – could manage it, so could he.

Going about as though nothing were odd, Loki slid a guard about himself. He didn't know if it worked, truly, or if it was only that Heimdal happened to be distracted at the times when he'd used it. It was unlikely that Heimdal had seen him and chosen to turn a blind eye. Loki had never put any faith on the goodwill of the Gatekeeper towards himself. But it was better to take the precaution on the off chance that it might work. And, as far as his studies had taken him, it should have worked beautifully.

But then, he'd thought _that_ before…

It would not, he thought, be remiss to test it and see if Heimdal _could_ see him.

The guards did not see him as he slid past them into the Vault.

But Jotunheim… He stood before the portal. He faltered. Jotunheim was forbidden. To _all_.

Father could forbid all he liked.

Casting caution aside, Loki stepped through.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

It was perhaps an hour later that Loki appeared back in the dark corridor, flushed with the cold. His eyes burned with excitement.

He'd been on Jotunheim. And – unless he was greatly mistaken – he remained uncaught.

It was exhilarating.

He hadn't remained overly long. He'd seen little besides terrain. But he'd been there, and the defiance of his father's orders made him want to laugh. He'd been to Jotunheim. He'd done no harm. But, he did wonder at Heimdal. The fabled Gatekeeper would fail to hold his hallowed place long if others knew of his unfortunate shortcomings.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

Following Thor and the others out of the Observatory Loki took the bridle of his horse from the man who offered it, then, on a whim, he turned back.

"Heimdal,"

"My prince," the dark man's head did not turn.

"You see the spaces between Realms, do you not?" It had been his habit as a boy to often question Heimdal thus. He'd ask if such and such a thing he'd read about truly existed and a smile would tug at the huge man's mouth though he would never take his eyes from his watch. Those were in days far off, before Loki had taken it into his head that he might outwit the man. Before he'd decided Heimdal hated him.

"I see all, my prince."

Hubris was a dangerous failing. "Do the paths that ran between them in the legends yet exist?"

"If they do, my eyes see none yet who know them."

So, Father _had_ kept it quiet, then. If Heimdal did not know… He kept the laughter back from his eyes.

"Loki!"

"I'm coming."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Thor knows that Loki can operate the 'Secret Paths'. But I get the feeling that that was not something that was common knowledge, and also that if it were, it would not be considered a good thing.**

 **This is the beginning of the end. Let me know what you think.**


	36. Chapter 36

**Sorry this is so late. Ugh. This week! And next only promises to be worse XP Anyways, I THOUGHT I published this last night, but my internet crapped out part-way through the uploading process. Sorry about that.**

 **TLTLTL**

Realizing that what he had was truly unprecedented knowledge, Loki went deep into the archives, reading all he could of the paths between. Of the gems that had overridden their usefulness that had led to their disuse and eventual decay before they themselves had too been lost.

The farther he studied, the more his amusement gave way to dread.

A portal, like any other door, could be entered from either side. The ways were treacherous, but by no means impassable to any. And Jotunheim had had powerful mages in the old days. Why not now? Loki began to slip out into the Forbidden Realm, hunting across the barren, jagged landscape for any sign of life and, to his horror, he found a village not far down the mountain. Many of the young warriors came up – nearly upon the hollow itself wherein the gateway lay – when they went out to hunt.

All it would take was a false step to one who had _any_ inclination to mage-craft, and they could be in the Vault itself.

A little frantically, Loki paged through millennia-old manuscripts, looking for some way to shut a portal or re-direct it. But the Aesir were not a people who recorded their knowledge in writing well. Much was only communicated by word of mouth from father to son or mother to daughter. There was rumor that a portal might move with the swaying of the World Tree, but that could take millennia.

"Father, I must speak with you on a matter of some urgency."

Odin barely turned from the men he spoke with, answering irritably, "Can you not see that I am busy, my son?"

"Father, I'm not exaggerating –"

"Silence, Boy!"

Slamming his teeth shut, Loki gave a shallow attempt at a bow and showed himself out.

This was why he'd foresworn conversation with his father. The past years the great majority of exchanges he'd had with his father had concluded with the same brevity. Odin had no time for him.

Telling anyone else would do no good. Mother would fret. It would only harm her when there was nothing she could do. She'd wring her hands and tell him to take his concerns to his father.

Thor would be less that worthless, unless he decided _he_ ought to tell their father. But he wouldn't. He would only laugh and tell Loki that he was better than to fear invasion. 'Into our very halls?' Loki could almost hear him, 'The monsters would never dare!'

But Loki had seen them. He'd veiled himself and followed after them in their hunting.

Their brutality frightened him. He in no way shared Thor's confidence.

Further recourse into the Archives told him nothing. And at no time was Odin free for his second son. Frigga smiled when he complained to her and she put a gentle hand on his arm to still his restless pacing.

"Do not give up on him just yet, Loki, he is weary."

Loki grimaced. It had been a long while since he'd expected much of his father.

"It will get easier on him once Thor had assumed the kingship."

"Yes," Loki said dismissively, "whenever that happens. Mother –" then he stopped, because the look on her face had utterly changed. "What?"

"Darling," she made a sound between a cough and a laugh, "You don't know?"

"Don't know what?" he frowned.

"Your father arranges the ceremony even now," she told him, "In a matter of days your father will relinquish the throne of Asgard in Thor's favor."

Thor. On the throne. Of course that had been the expectation since they were children. But the immediacy of it… With Thor as he was?

She held his arm in one hand and watched him as though he were a fragile thing she feared to break.

Scowling, he pulled away from her touch, "Are you sure that's wise?" he asked, "Mother, you know what he's like,"

"I do," she glanced down as though she was unsure, "But he is young,"

Loki scoffed.

"And as I seem to recall," she raised her voice just slightly, "There was once a boy who suggested we move to trust Thor in merit of the greatness of his heart, and in hopes that he would grow out of his recklessness."

"The time for that was long ago. He still had growing yet to do."

She shook her head, smiling oddly. "Never are we too old to grow out of our failings."

Exasperated, Loki cut his hand across the air, "The likelihood wanes."

Thor. Ebullient, extravagant, glory-lusting Thor, King of Asgard.

The portal. Cold and open and beckoning _next door_ to the Vault, where the very _heart_ of Jotunheim churned.

They _had_ to be drawn to the Casket. If any _one_ of them with even _remote_ ability came close to that mountain…

Frigga drew close to him again, concern bare on her face, "What is it that troubles you, my son?"

He pushed it aside, "It is nothing," he lied. Nothing that could not wait until the day following Thor's coronation – if it truly was to be as soon as she made out. Thor could not do such instant damage. And the Frost Giants on the far side had not made any further move toward the portal. Yet.

It would be at least a matter of a week before Thor had them in a full-blown war.

A week.

Father didn't understand. Neither of their parents heard Thor as he spoke with his friends – as he'd always spoken.

Loki knew the law. Knew if a king proclaimed war, the AllFather could not negate it. Even should the king in question be the one nearest his control.

There wasn't time.

He went down to the guards and spoke to them. He knew better than to begin rumors. He told them only, on his authority, to strengthen their guard on the Vault. The man asked why and Loki's lips pressed a thin line. The men were not to ask, but obey. He was their prince if nothing more. He told them it was in merit of Thor's coronation. The man's mouth slid sarcastically to one side, and he gave a laconic salute.

Without the order of the AllFather, Loki knew they would do nothing. But Odin would not listen to him. The only time Odin had ever followed his advice was when he'd counselled him to grant Thor Mjolnir. And that had proved to be one of the worst bits of advisement – thus far – that Loki had ever spoken.

Father wanted peace. But he would not _listen_.

Not to words. But should there be an attack… A minor attack. Easily controlled. A few hunters, lured through the portal. During a public event to rouse the fear of the people and awe them with the strength of the AllFather… And Thor would respond _so_ poorly. It would have to be at some time where all the people were gathered together, and before Thor was crowned. But there was _no time_.

The coronation was the obvious answer, then. Before Thor had the power to call Asgard to war.

But Thor would have set his heart so firmly on it.

Thor was strong, Loki reminded himself, he would recover from the disappointment. And if his weariness was the reason for his impatience, Father would have the entire celebration rescheduled within a fortnight.

Thor would recover. And it was well worth the security of the realm.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

Odin looked down over the city, his hands clasped behind his straight back. "Do you think he's ready?"

" _He_ thinks he is," Frigga turned half from the vanity behind him, eyes soft and contented, betraying none of the conflict that loomed darker over him as the moment of his abdication neared.

She turned back to the vanity mirror, hanging a bauble from her ear and tipping her head to test it in the light, "He has his father's confidence."

Thor was brash. Immature. "He'll need his father's wisdom."

"And his humility?"

When he turned from the window, she was watching him in the mirror, her mouth laughing. "Thor won't be alone," she glanced away, plucking up yet _another_ pair of earrings. "Loki will be at his side to give him counsel," her eyes were soft and bright as she smiled at him, "Have faith in your sons."

"Yes, but Thor is still a boy," Odin answered restlessly. He came across the room and rested a hand on the back of his wife's seat. "He could be a great king…"

Moving his hand, Odin saw it fade and smear across his line of vision, the rest of the world blurring and shifting under his feet.

"Odin?"

Then it had passed and Frigga was turned about in her chair, holding the hand he'd left on the back of it in both of hers. Her eyes were gentle and worried. "Did it happen again?" she asked.

Odin grimaced, "It will pass," he straightened his shoulders, "You are in the right, my queen."

Taking her hand, he raised her.

"As always?" she smirked.

He kissed her hand, "Always."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Thor's banishment was clearly** _ **not**_ **something Loki had expected, and, if he still loved Thor** _ **at all**_ **– which I think is pretty clear (I mean, yeah, there's that moment when they pan around and he's all composed like nothing's happening, but before that, right as Thor gets sucked into the beam he's got a holy-shit kinda look on his face, like a cross between surprise and being about to cry. Since he's a dude – let's admit it, guys don't like feelings all that much and, also, I don't know how emotionally fluent our favorite prince is – and since he's with a group of his** _ **big brother's friends**_ **, his** _ **dad**_ **, and a guy who** _ **practically hates**_ **him and** _ **certainly**_ **doesn't respect him – Hell,** _ **anybody**_ **would do what they had to do to not show that. I mean, flip it on its head. He faked a split-second freak-out and then sat there like a smug canary.** _ **WHY?**_ **To me, the other makes** _ **so**_ **much more sense. Show of hands? Sorry, ranting ;) Again. *sigh* Houston, I** _ **might**_ **have a problem…)**

 **Aaanyways, point being, if he still loved Thor, I think he would have felt at least** _ **a little**_ **bad about what he was planning to do.**

 **Also, okay. In** _ **Thor**_ **, Loki lies to Thor about their father being dead, their mother preventing his homecoming,** _ **and**_ **there even** _ **being**_ **negotiations with Jotunheim. Then he goes to Jotunheim and tells Laufey "Yep. I let them in to ruin my brother's big day. Oh, by the way, come on by and kill Odin for me, won't you?" We all saw where he intended to go with that last bit, so why is it everybody assumes he's telling the truth for the first? I think this theory is more likely** _ **and**_ **more in character. – Not that Loki's above doing spiteful things just to piss Thor off, but I think he understands the seriousness of this situation.**

 **One other note. Remember in the movie when Loki admits that he told a guard they were going to Jotunheim? "He should be flogged for taking so long?" and remember the tone Heimdall uses with him? And also – if you will – recall in the pre-coronation deleted scene, the man who comes with Thor's wine? He laughed at Thor's 'battles/tricks' joke. In Medieval Europe – which Asgard seems largely to be based upon – servants were slain for less. I would deduce that Loki was never respected. Probably bred a lot of resentment. Probably also why he chose to bargain with a few guards' lives by letting the Jotuns in and why he didn't seem particularly troubled by their deaths.**

 **My thoughts, anyway.**

 **That second part, with Odin and Frigga, was not of my imagining. Up until the part where he's catching trails – so to speak – on his hand – was actually a deleted scene I saw script for when I was snooping around online. I don't know if it was ever filmed. I made up the rest of it.**

 **Thoughts? Comments? Arguments?**


	37. Chapter 37

"Nervous, Brother?"

Thor's laugh was forced, "Have you _ever_ known me to be nervous?"

"Well," Loki shrugged carelessly, "there was that time in Nornheim."

His own nerves were strained tight. The portal was open.

"That wasn't nerves, Brother," Thor corrected, " _that_ , was the rage of battle."

"Ah," Loki nodded, jerking himself back as best he could. "I see."

He'd gone out, flushed and hassled, to try and calm himself in the air that was more vibrant and fresh than anywhere in Asgard. For whatever reason, even amid the stresses that the situation presented, he found the space stilling. In Jotunheim, of all places.

He'd heard them. Heard the harsh laughter of the hunters. He left tracks behind in the snow, bare and obvious like gaping bloody wounds, and he'd left the portal wide behind him.

"How else could I have fought my way through a hundred warriors and pulled us out alive?"

It was the right thing to do. It was what had to be done. One day, Thor would understand.

Loki frowned, "As I recall," he said, "I was the one who veiled us in smoke to ease our escape,"

One day, Thor would understand. Not that he would ever know. Loki would never be able to tell him. He didn't need to know. He wouldn't understand it now, and by the time he could, it would be centuries-old and useless.

"Yes," Thor said, "some do battle, others just do tricks."

A serving man offered Thor a goblet, laughing at what the Golden Prince had to say.

Loki's eyes snapped.

He recalled the sardonic lilt to the guard's mouth when he'd spoken to them and the heat of it washed up in his belly, driving away the guilt. He felt he ought to thank the fool of a serving man. The idiot offered up, all unwittingly, a marvelous opportunity.

Twisting his hand he cast an illusion of snakes and the man gave a startled yelp. His hand fell and the goblet clattered to the floor, spilling its castlings in a pool on the ground and breaking apart, cup from stem.

It was as much a release for himself as it was entertainment for Thor, and vengeance on both of them for the joke.

And it worked. Loki laughed.

"Loki," Thor sighed, "now that was just a waste of good wine."

But the sigh had a laugh in it.

"Oh it's just a bit of fun," Loki peered forward to see the man's face, eyes hard with what it was he meant to say to the fool. "Right, my friend?"

 _Try it once more._

No matter how many times he played the same trick, they never seemed to expect it.

Obligingly, Loki put out a hand to dispel the image.

Bowing low to the ground, the man gathered up the fragments and backed away. All the while, he threw furtive looks at the younger prince.

Loki was pleased with that.

No sooner was he gone than a guard appeared, offering Thor his ceremonial helm.

Loki noticed how Thor hesitated before taking the thing, and the manner in which he did so. He accepted it graciously, not with his usual bravado.

He meant this far more seriously than Loki had ever expected him to, and that made his heart give a little in his chest.

"Oo," he said, shoving that away, "nice feathers."

Thor turned on him, grinning like the brash boy he'd been.

Boys are not made kings.

Somehow it had all felt less real, before.

Thor shook his golden head, "You don't really want to start this _again_? Cow?" he gestured to Loki's own helm.

Mock offense, "I was being sincere!"

"You are incapable of sincerity."

" _Am_ I?"

"Yes!"

It was so like the old days. When Thor would trust him with his heart.

But what was done could not be undone, and the security of the realm counted for more. The words were heavy on his tongue, but he couldn't tell Thor now. He wouldn't understand and all would be for nothing. Thor would understand eventually.

He had to.

"I've looked forward to this day as long as you have," Loki promised, longing with all that was in him for one precious moment that he could tell Thor everything, "my brother, and my friend," he prayed that Thor would remember this. Prayed to anything that might listen that Thor would understand, though he knew that could never happen. "Sometimes, I'm envious, but never doubt that I love you."

Thor's eyes were deep and dark in the hall where they stood, solemn to their depths. "Thank you," he said.

Loki grinned, pushing away the awful certainty that knew how Thor would hate him if he knew what he had done. "Now give us a kiss,"

Laughing in spite of himself, Thor shoved him back, "Stop it."

He _wanted_ to tell Thor. Wanted to warn him.

Thor asked, "Really, how do I look?"

They weren't boys any longer, but Thor still trusted him. Still looked to him for the truth.

The guilt curdled in his throat.

But he was the only one here. The only one _to_ help. Of course Thor would look to him now. If his _friends_ were about the question would never have occurred to him.

And that helped.

Blonde and handsome, strong beneath his glorious armor. Thor looked every inch the hero of children's tales yet untold.

"Like a king," Loki said.

He _wished_ …

Thor nodded, distracted yet with his thoughts.

He had to understand. But nothing was left to remedy that now.

For _heaven's_ sake, just to get this over with –

"It's time," Loki said.

"You go ahead."

Loki looked at him, incredulous.

"I'll be along," Thor protested, "go on."

And Loki abandoned him to his thoughts.

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

He was pacing back and forth, agitated, gripping the handle of Mjolnir in his fist.

Frigga remembered how he had been as a boy, and she knew deep in her heart that he could do this. It was time.

"It's all right to be nervous," she said.

Thor turned and faced her, "Why does everyone keep saying that?"

She smiled softly to herself as he strode past her in the little space.

"I'm not nervous!" he protested.

At that she smiled outright. He was yet little more than her boy. "You may be able to fool the rest of Asgard," she said.

"Yes," he stopped in front of her, the hammer tight in his fist, "But never you," in spite of his tone, his electric eyes softened, "I know."

"Just remember," she drew close to him, "that you have something even the great AllFather never had."

His eyes flickered with curiosity and amusement, "And what's that?"

She smiled at him, "Me for a mother."

She passed by him, brushing his thick arm with her hand.

Coming to the edge of the stair, she turned back.

He was smiling after her.

"Whenever you're ready, my son," she said, "The ceremony awaits."

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **THE END**

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Both of these are deleted scenes. I merely read in thoughts and motivations that I thought in character.**

 **Thoughts? Comments? Let me know what you think of this arc I've drawn out here. Now that I've finished, it's easier to actually discuss it. No more surprises lurking.**

 **What did I miss?**

 **Also, neat detail about the name of this fic that I actually only just caught,** _ **In the End**_ **is the name of a song by Linkin Park that is amazing and also weirdly applicable. It's also a key phrase in** _ **The Avengers**_ **. "In the end, you will always kneel." How's** _ **that**_ **for subconscious foreshadowing?!**

 **And for proof that I really** _ **am**_ **working on a sequel? ;)**

 **If you have requests for deleted scene style fics, alternate sequels or points I never thought to make, let me know! No promises as to what I'll actually write, but if it fits into my scheme of their arc and it bugs me enough, I guarantee you that it** _ **will**_ **get written!**

 **I'm currently working on a fic during** _ **Thor**_ **-** _ **Avengers-Dark World**_ **from Loki's POV to continue the arguments I've made in** _ **this**_ **one. And I'm planning companion fics from Thor, Odin and Frigga's points of view that I** _ **may**_ **release simultaneously. You know, so as they're being released you get all four of them at the same time so it comes out in a kind of chronological order, but by the time they've been out a while you can read each of them as their own story. You maaaay have to wait a leeetle longer for those 'cause I like to finish them before I publish, just so they can come out a little more polished…but I think I can venture to guess that you guys don't mind ;)**

 **Favorite, Follow, or whatever if you're interested. I may also have some myth-inspired stories and/or AUs. I got a lot of nonsense knocking around in my head. We'll see what I get to. I** _ **do**_ **write things other than fanfictions, so we'll have to see who claims more of my heart and demands my typing time**

 **Thanks so much for playing along! It's been great!**

 **Let the movie begin ;)**


End file.
